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When  Patty  Went 
to  College 


r 


\ 


s\o^' 


Patty 


When  Patty  Went 
to  College 

By 

*■  0 

Jean  Webster 


With  Illustrations 
by  C.  D.  Williams 


New  York 
The  Century  Co. 
1904 


i  13 

W  l z> 


Copyright,  1903,  by 

The  Century  Co. 

Copyright,  1901,  1902,  by  TRUTH  Co. 


Published  March ,  1903 

Reprinted  Jtine,  July ,  A  ugust,  September 
>  <  '  {twice) ,  November,  and  December,  1903, 

\  ci’  March,  July ,  and  August,  1904 


THE  DEVINNE  PRESS 


234  main  and  the  good 

TIMES  WE  HAVE  HAD  THERE 


76£0.o 


Contents 


PAGE 


i  Peters  the  Susceptible . i 

ii  An  Early  Fright . 21 

hi  The  Impressionable  Mr*  Todhunter  39 

iv  A  Question  of  Ethics . 57 

v  The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris  ....  73 

vi  A  Story  with  Four  Sequels  ...  89 

vii  In  Pursuit  of  Old  English  .  .  .103 

viii  The  Deceased  Robert . 12 1 

ix  Patty  the  Comforter . 133 

x  “  Per  lTtalia  ” . 147 

xi  “Local  Color” . 177 

xii  The  Exigencies  of  Etiquette  .  .  .  203 

xiii  A  Crash  Without . 215 

xiv  The  Mystery  of  the  Shadowed  Soph¬ 

omore  . 237 

xv  Patty  and  the  Bishop . 257 


List  of  Illustrations 

FACING  PAGE 

Patty . Frontispiece 

Men  know  such  a  lot  about  such  things  !  .  .  .  .  18 

Mr.  Algernon  Vivian  Todhunter,  gingerly  sitting  on 


the  edge  of  a  chair . 54 

What ’s  the  matter,  Patty? . no 

Olivia  Copeland . 172 


I  have  just  run  away  from  you,  Bishop  Copeley.  .  266 


Peters  the  Susceptible 


•  l- 


. 


4 


I 


Peters  the  Susceptible 


APER-WEIGHTS,”  observed 
Patty,  sucking  an  injured 
thumb,  “were  evidently  not 
made  for  driving  in  tacks.  I 
a  hammer.” 

This  remark  called  forth  no  response, 
and  Patty  peered  down  from  the  top  of 
the  step-ladder  at  her  room-mate,  who 
was  sitting  on  the  floor  dragging  sofa-pil¬ 
lows  and  curtains  from  a  dry-goods  box. 

“  Priscilla,”  she  begged,  “you  are  n’t 
doing  anything  useful.  Go  down  and  ask 
Peters  for  a  hammer.” 

Priscilla  rose  reluctantly.  “  I  dare  say 
fifty  girls  have  already  been  after  a 
hammer.” 

“  Oh,  he  has  a  private  one  in  his  back 
pocket.  Borrow  that.  And,  Pris,” — Patty 
called  after  her  over  the  transom, — “just 


3 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

tell  him  to  send  up  a  man  to  take  that 
closet  door  off  its  hinges.” 

Patty,  in  the  interval,  sat  down  on  the 
top  step  and  surveyed  the  chaos  beneath 
her.  An  Oriental  rush  chair,  very  much 
out  at  the  elbows,  several  miscellaneous 
chairs,  two  desks,  a  divan,  a  table,  and  two 
dry-goods  boxes  radiated  from  the  cen¬ 
ter  of  the  room.  The  floor,  as  it  showed 
through  the  interstices,  was  covered  with 
a  grass-green  carpet,  while  the  curtains 
and  hangings  were  of  a  not  very  subdued 
crimson. 

“  One  would  scarcely,”  Patty  remarked 
to  the  furniture  in  general,  “  call  it  a  sym¬ 
phony  in  color.” 

A  knock  sounded  on  the  door. 

“  Come  in,”  she  called. 

A  girl  in  a  blue  linen  sailor-suit  reach¬ 
ing  to  her  ankles,  and  with  a  braid  of 
hair  hanging  down  her  back,  appeared  in 
the  doorway.  Patty  examined  her  in 
silence.  The  girl’s  eyes  traveled  around 
the  room  in  some  surprise,  and  finally 
reached  the  top  of  the  ladder. 

4 


Peters  the  Susceptible 

“  I  —  I ’m  a  freshman,”  she  began. 

“  My  dear,”  murmured  Patty,  in  a  dep¬ 
recatory  tone,  “  I  should  have  taken  you 
for  a  senior  ;  but  ”  —  with  a  wave  of  her 
hand  toward  the  nearest  dry-goods  box  — 
“come  in  and  sit  down.  I  need  your  ad¬ 
vice.  Now,  there  are  shades  of  green,” 
she  went  on,  as  if  continuing  a  conversa¬ 
tion,  “which  are  not  so  bad  with  red;  but 
I  ask  you  frankly  if  that  shade  of  green 
would  go  with  anything  ?  ” 

The  freshman  looked  at  Patty,  and 
looked  at  the  carpet,  and  smiled  dubiously. 
“  No,”  she  admitted;  “I  don’t  believe  it 
would.” 

“I  knew  you  would  say  that!”  ex¬ 
claimed  Patty,  in  a  tone  of  relief.  “  Now 
what  would  you  advise  us  to  do  with  the 
carpet? ” 

The  freshman  looked  blank.  “I  —  I 
don’t  know,  unless  you  take  it  up,”  she 
stammered. 

“  The  very  thing  !  ”  said  Patty.  “  I 
wonder  we  had  n’t  thought  of  it  before.” 

Priscilla  reappeared  at  this  point  with 

5 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

the  announcement,  “  Peters  is  the  most 
suspicious  man  I  ever  knew  !  ”  But  she 
stopped  uncertainly  as  she  caught  sight  of 
the  freshman. 

“  Priscilla,”  said  Patty,  severely,  “  I 
hope  you  did  n’t  divulge  the  fact  that  we 
are  hanging  the  walls  with  tapestry  ” — this 
with  a  wave  of  her  hand  toward  the  printed 
cotton  cloth  dangling  from  the  molding. 

“  I  tried  not  to,”  said  Priscilla,  guiltily, 
“but  he  read  ‘tapestry’  in  my  eyes.  He 
had  no  sooner  looked  at  me  than  he  said, 

‘  See  here,  miss ;  you  know  it ’s  against  the 
rules  to  hang  curtains  on  the  walls,  and 
you  must  n’t  put  nails  in  the  plastering, 
and  I  don’t  believe  you  need  a  hammer 
anyway.’  ” 

“  Disgusting  creature  !  ”  said  Patty. 

“  But,”  continued  Priscilla,  hastily,  “  I 
stopped  and  borrowed  Georgie  Merriles’s 
hammer  on  my  way  back.  Oh,  I  for¬ 
got,”  she  added ;  “  he  says  we  can’t  take 
the  closet  door  off  its  hinges — that  as  soon 
as  we  get  ours  off  five  hundred  other 
young  ladies  will  be  wanting  theirs  off, 

6 


Peters  the  Susceptible 

and  that  it  would  take  half  a  dozen  men 
all  summer  to  put  them  back  again.” 

A  portentous  frown  was  gathering  on 
Patty’s  brow,  and  the  freshman,  wishing  to 
avert  a  possible  domestic  tragedy,  inquired 
timidly,  “Who  is  Peters?” 

“Peters,”  said  Priscilla,  “is  a  short, 
bow-legged  gentleman  with  a  red  Van¬ 
dyke  beard,  whose  technical  title  is  jani¬ 
tor,  but  who  is  really  dictator.  Every  one 
is  afraid  of  him  —  even  Prexy.” 

“  I ’m  not,”  said  Patty;  “and,”  she  added 
firmly,  “  that  door  is  coming  down  whether 
he  says  so  or  not,  so  I  suppose  we  shall 
have  to  do  it  ourselves.”  Her  eyes  wan¬ 
dered  back  to  the  carpet  and  her  face 
brightened.  “  Oh,  Pris,  we ’ve  got  a  beau¬ 
tiful  new  scheme.  My  friend  here  says 
she  does  n’t  like  the  carpet  at  all,  and  sug¬ 
gests  that  we  take  it  up,  get  some  black 
paint,  and  put  it  on  the  floor  ourselves.  I 
agree,”  she  added,  “  that  a  Flemish  oak 
floor  covered  with  rugs  would  be  a  great 
improvement.” 

Priscilla  glanced  uncertainly  from  the 

7 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


freshman  to  the  floor.  “  Do  you  think 
they ’d  let  us  do  it  ?  ” 

“  It  would  never  do  to  ask  them,”  said 
Patty. 

The  freshman  rose  uneasily.  “  I  came,” 
she  said  hesitatingly,  “to  find  out  —  that 
is,  I  understand  that  the  girls  rent  their 
old  books,  and  I  thought,  if  you  would  n’t 
mind  — ” 

“  Mind !  ”  said  Patty,  reassuringly. 
“We’d  rent  our  souls  for  fifty  cents  a 
semester.” 

“  It — it  was  a  Latin  dictionary  I  wanted,” 
said  the  freshman,  “and  the  girls  next 
door  said  perhaps  you  had  one.” 

“A  beautiful  one,”  said  Patty. 

“No,”  interrupted  Priscilla;  “hers  is 
lost  from  O  to  R,  and  it ’s  all  torn  ;  but 
mine,” —  she  dived  down  into  one  of  the 
boxes  and  hauled  out  a  chunky  volume 
without  any  covers, — “while  it  is  not  so 
beautiful  as  it  was  once,  it  is  still  as 
useful.” 

“Mine ’s  annotated,”  said  Patty,  “and 
illustrated.  I  ’ll  show  you  what  a  supe- 

8 


Peters  the  Susceptible 

rior  book  it  is,”  and  she  began  descend¬ 
ing  the  ladder  ;  but  Priscilla  charged  upon 
her  and  she  retreated  to  the  top  again. 
“  Why,”  she  wailed  to  the  terrified  fresh¬ 
man,  “did  you  not  say  you  wanted  a  dic¬ 
tionary  before  she  came  back  ?  Let  me 
give  you  some  advice  at  the  beginning  of 
your  college  career,”  she  added  warn- 
ingly.  “Never  choose  a  room-mate 
bigger  than  yourself.  They  ’re  danger- 
ous. 

The  freshman  was  backing  precipitously 
toward  the  door,  when  it  opened  and 
revealed  an  attractive-looking  girl  with 
fluffy  reddish  hair. 

“  Pris,  you  wretch,  you  walked  off  with 
my  hammer  !  ” 

“  Oh,  Georgie,  we  need  it  worse  than 
you  do!  Come  in  and  help  tack.” 

“  Hello,  Georgie,”  called  Patty,  from 
the  ladder.  “  Is  n’t  this  room  going  to  be 
beautiful  when  it ’s  finished  ?  ” 

Georgie  looked  about.  “  You  are  more 
sanguine  than  I  should  be,”  she  laughed. 

“You  can’t  tell  yet,”  Patty  returned. 


9 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  We  ’re  going  to  cover  the  wall-paper 
with  this  red  stuff,  and  paint  the  floor 
black,  and  have  dark  furniture,  and  red 
hangings,  and  soft  lights.  It  will  look  just 
like  the  Oriental  Room  in  the  Waldorf.” 

“How  in  the  world,”  Georgie  de¬ 
manded,  “do  you  ever  make  them  let  you 
do  all  these  things  ?  I  stuck  in  three 
innocent  little  thumb-tacks  to-day,,  and 
Peters  descended  upon  me  bristling  with 
wrath,  and  said  he ’d  report  me  if  I  did  n’t 
pull  them  out.” 

“  We  never  ask,”  explained  Patty. 
“  It ’s  the  only  way.” 

“You  Ve  got  enough  to  do  if  you  ex¬ 
pect  to  get  settled  by  Monday,”  Georgie 
remarked. 

“  C'est  vrai agreed  Patty,  descending 
the  ladder  with  a  sudden  access  of  energy  ; 
“  and  you ’ve  got  to  stay  and  help  us.  We 
have  to  get  all  this  furniture  moved  into 
the  bedrooms  and  the  carpet  up  before  we 
even  begin  to  paint.”  She  regarded  the 
freshman  tentatively.  “  Are  you  awfully 
busy  ?  ” 


io 


Peters  the  Susceptible 

“  Not  very.  My  room-mate  has  n’t 
come  yet,  so  I  can’t  settle.” 

“That  ’s  nice;  then  you  can  help  us 
move  furniture.” 

“  Patty  !  ”  said  Priscilla,  “  I  think  you 
are  too  bad.” 

“  I  should  really  love  to  stay  and  help, 
if  you  ’ll  let  me.” 

“  Certainly,”  said  Patty,  obligingly.  “  I 
forgot  to  ask  your  name,”  she  continued, 
“  and  I  don’t  suppose  you  like  to  be  called 
‘  Freshman  ’ ;  it ’s  not  specific  enough.” 

“  My  name  is  Genevieve  Ainslee  Ran¬ 
dolph.” 

“  Genevieve  Ains  —  dear  me  !  I  can’t 
remember  anything  like  that.  Do  you 
mind  if  I  call  you  Lady  Clara  Vere  de 
Vere  for  short?  ” 

The  freshman  looked  doubtful,  and  Patty 
proceeded :  “  Lady  Clara,  allow  me  to 

present  my  room-mate  Miss  Priscilla 
Pond —  no  relation  to  the  extract.  She ’s 
athletic  and  wins  hundred-yard  dashes  and 
hurdle  races,  and  gets  her  name  in  the 
paper  to  a  really  gratifying  extent.  And 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


my  dear  friend  Miss  Georgie  Merriles,  one 
of  the  oldest  families  in  Dakota.  Miss 
Merriles  is  very  talented  —  sings  in  the 
glee  club,  plays  on  the  comb — ” 

“And,”  interrupted  Georgie,  “let  me 
present  Miss  Patty  Wyatt,  who — ” 

“  Has  no  specialty,”  said  Patty,  mod¬ 
estly,  “but  is  merely  good  and  beautiful 
and  bright.” 

A  knock  sounded  on  the  door,  which 
opened  without  waiting  for  a  response. 
“  Miss  Theodora  Bartlet,”  continued  Patty, 
“  commonly  known  as  the  Twin,  Miss  Vere 
de  Vere.” 

The  Twin  looked  dazed,  murmured, 
“  Miss  Vere  de  Vere,”  and  dropped  down 
on  a  dry-goods  box. 

“The  term  ‘Twin,’”  explained  Patty, 
“is  used  in  a  merely  allegorical  sense. 
There  is  really  only  one  of  her.  The  title 
was  conferred  in  her  freshman  year,  and 
the  reason  has  been  lost  in  the  dim  dawn 
of  antiquity.” 

The  freshman  looked  at  the  Twin  and 
opened  her  mouth,  but  shut  it  again  with¬ 
out  saying  anything. 


12 


Peters  the  Susceptible 

“  My  favorite  maxim,”  said  Patty,  “  has 
always  been,  ‘Silence  is  golden.’  I  ob¬ 
serve  that  we  are  kindred  spirits.” 

“  Patty,”  said  Priscilla,  “  do  stop  bother¬ 
ing  that  poor  child  and  get  to  work.” 

“  Bothering ?”  said  Patty.  “I  am  not 
bothering  her ;  we  are  just  getting  ac¬ 
quainted.  However,  I  dare  say  it  is  not 
the  time  for  hollow  civilities.  Do  you 
want  to  borrow  anything  ?  ”  she  added, 
turning  to  the  Twin,  “  or  did  you  just 
drop  in  to  pay  a  social  call  ?  ” 

“  Just  a  social  call ;  but  I  think  I  ’ll  come 
in  again  when  there  ’s  no  furniture  to 
move.” 

“You  don’t  happen  to  be  going  into 
town  this  afternoon  ?  ” 

“Yes,”  said  the  Twin.  “But,”  she 
added  guardedly,  “  if  it ’s  a  curtain-pole,  I 
refuse  to  bring  it  out.  I  offered  to  bring 
one  out  for  Lucille  Carter  last  night,  be¬ 
cause  she  was  in  a  hurry  to  give  a  house¬ 
warming,  and  I  speared  the  conductor 
with  it  getting  into  the  car  ;  and  while  I 
was  apologizing  to  him  I  knocked  Mrs. 
Prexy’s  hat  off  with  the  other  end.” 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“We  have  all  the  curtain-poles  we 
need,”  sa^d  Patty.  “  It  ’s  just  some  paint 
—  five  cans  of  black  paint,  and  three 
brushes  at  the  ten-cent  store,  and  thank 
you  very  much.  Good-by.  Now,”  she 
continued,  “  the  first  thing  is  to  get  that 
door  down,  and  I  will  wrest  a  screw¬ 
driver  from  the  unwilling  Peters  while 
you  remove  tacks  from  the  carpet.” 

“  He  won’t  give  you  one,”  said  Pris¬ 
cilla. 

“You  ’ll  see,”  said  Patty. 

Five  minutes  later  she  returned  waving 
above  her  head  an  unmistakable  screw¬ 
driver.  “Voild,  mes  amies  !  Peters’s  own 
private  screw-driver,  for  which  I  am  to  be 
personally  responsible.” 

“How  did  you  get  it? ’’inquired  Pris¬ 
cilla,  suspiciously. 

“You  act,”  said  Patty,  “as  if  you 
thought  I  knocked  him  down  in  some 
dark  corner  and  robbed  him.  I  merely 
asked  him  for  it  politely,  and  he  asked  me 
what  I  wanted  to  do  with  it.  I  told  him  I 
wanted  to  take  out  screws,  and  the  reason 


Peters  the  Susceptible 

irnppcsscd  him  so  that  he  handed  it  over 
without  a  word.  Peters,”  she  &dded,  “is 
a  dear ;  only  he ’s  like  every  other  man — 
you  have  to  use  diplomacy.” 

By  ten  o’clock  that  night  the  study 
carpet  of  399  was  neatly  folded  and  de¬ 
posited  at  the  end  of  the  corridor  above, 
whence  its  origin  would  be  difficult  to 
trace.  The  entire  region  was  steeped  in 
an  odor  of  turpentine,  and  the  study  floor 
of  399  was  a  shining  black,  except  for  four 
or  five  unpainted  spots  which  Patty  des¬ 
ignated  as  “  stepping-stones,”  and  which 
were  to  be  treated  later.  Every  caller 
that  had  dropped  in  during  the  afternoon 
or  evening  had  had  a  brush  thrust  into  her 
hand  and  had  been  made  to  go  down 
upon  her  knees  and  paint.  Besides  the 
floor,  three  bookcases  and  a  chair  had  been 
transferred  from  mahogany  to  Flemish 
oak,  and  there  was  still  half  a  can  of  paint 
left  which  Patty  was  anxiously  trying  to 
dispose  of. 

The  next  morning,  in  spite  of  the  diffi¬ 
culty  of  getting  about,  the  step-ladder  had 

15 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

been  reerected,  and  the  business  of  tapes¬ 
try-hanging  was  going  forward  with  en¬ 
thusiasm,  when  a  knock  suddenly  inter¬ 
rupted  the  work. 

Patty,  all  unconscious  of  impending 
doom,  cheerily  called,  “  Come  in  !  ” 

The  door  opened,  and  the  figure  of 
Peters  appeared  on  the  threshold ;  and 
Priscilla  basely  fled,  leaving  her  room¬ 
mate  stranded  on  the  ladder. 

“  Are  you  the  young  lady  who  borrowed 
my  screw — ”  Peters  stopped  and  looked 
at  the  floor,  and  his  jaw  dropped  in  aston¬ 
ishment.  “  Where  is  that  there  carpet  ?” 
he  demanded,  in  a  tone  which  seemed  to 
imply  that  he  thought  it  was  under  the 
paint. 

“  It ’s  out  in  the  hall,”  said  Patty,  pleas¬ 
antly.  “  Please  be  careful  and  don’t  step 
on  the  paint.  It ’s  a  great  improvement, 
don’t  you  think  ?  ” 

“You  oughter  got  permission — ”  he 
began,  but  his  eye  fell  on  the  tapestry  and 
he  stopped  again. 

“  Yes,”  said  Patty  ;  “  but  we  knew  you 

16 


Peters  the  Susceptible 

could  n  t  spare  a  man  just  now  to  paint  it 
for  us,  so  we  did  n’t  like  to  trouble  you.” 

It  s  against  the  rules  to  hang  curtains 
on  the  walls.” 

“  1  have  heard  that  it  was,”  said  Patty, 
affably,  “and  I  think  ordinarily  it ’s  a  very 
good  rule.  But  just  look  at  the  color  of 
that  wall-paper.  It’s  pea-green.  You 
have  had  enough  experience  with  wall¬ 
paper,  Mr.  Peters,  to  know  that  that  is 
impossible,  especially  when  our  window- 
curtains  and  portieres  are  red.” 

Peters  s  eyes  had  traveled  to  the  closet, 
bereft  of  its  door.  “Are  you  the  young 
lady,  he  demanded  gruffly,  “  who  asked 
me  to  have  that  door  taken  off  its 
hinges  ?  ” 

“No,”  said  Patty;  “I  think  that  must 
have  been  my  room-mate.  It  was  very 
heavy,”  she  continued  plaintively,  “and 
we  had  a  great  deal  of  trouble  getting  it 
down,  but  of  course  we  realized  that  you 
were  awfully  busy,  and  that  it  really  was  n’t 
your  fault.  That  ’s  what  I  wanted  the 
screw-driver  for,”  she  added.  “  I ’m  sorry 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

that  I  did  n’t  get  it  back  last  night,  but  I 
was  very  tired,  and  I  forgot.” 

Peters  merely  grunted.  He  was  exam¬ 
ining  a  corner  cabinet  hanging  on  the 
wall.  “  Did  n’t  you  know,”  he  asked 
severely,  “  that  it  ’s  against  the  rules  to 
put  nails  in  the  plaster  ?  ” 

“Those  are  n’t  nails,”  expostulated 
Patty.  “  They  ’re  hooks.  I  remembered 
that  you  did  n’t  like  holes,  so  I  only  put  in 
two,  though  I  am  really  afraid  that  three 
are  necessary.  What  do  you  think,  Mr. 
Peters  ?  Does  it  seem  solid  ?  ” 

Peters  shook  it.  “  It ’s  solid  enough,” 
he  said  sulkily.  As  he  turned,  his  eye  fell 
on  the  table  in  Priscilla’s  bedroom.  “  Is 
that  a  gas-stove  in  there  ?  ”  he  demanded. 

Patty  shrugged  her  shoulders.  “An 
apology  for  one  —  be  careful ,  Mr.  Peters  ! 
Dont  get  against  that  bookcase.  It  ’s 
just  painted.” 

Peters  jumped  aside,  and  stood  like  the 
Colossus  of  Rhodes,  with  one  foot  on  one 
stepping-stone,  and  the  other  on  another 
three  feet  away.  It  is  hard  for  even  a 

18 


Men  know  such  a  lot  about  such  things ! 


'ONn,l3H/lOS83MN' 

Anvaan 


Peters  the  Susceptible 


janitor  to  be  dignified  in  such  a  position, 
and  while  he  was  gathering  his  scat¬ 
tered  impressions  Patty  looked  longingly 
around  the  room  for  some  one  to  enjoy 
the  spectacle  with  her.  She  felt  that  the 
silence  was  becoming  ominous,  however, 
and  she  hastened  to  interrupt  it. 

“There  ’s  something  wrong  with  that 
stove  ;  it  won’t  burn  a  bit.  I  am  afraid  we 
did  n’t  put  it  together  just  right.  I 
should  n’t  be  surprised  if  you  might  be 
able  to  tell  what ’s  the  matter  with  it,  Mr. 
Peters.”  She  smiled  sweetly.  “  Men 
know  such  a  lot  about  such  things  !  Would 
you  mind  looking  at  it  ?  ” 

Peters  grunted  again  ;  but  he  ap¬ 
proached  the  stove. 

Five  minutes  later,  when  Priscilla  stuck 
her  head  in  to  find  out  if,  by  chance,  any¬ 
thing  remained  of  Patty,  she  saw  Peters 
on  his  knees  on  the  floor  of  her  bedroom, 
with  the  dismembered  stove  scattered 
about  him,  and  heard  him  saying,  “  I  don’t 
know  as  I  have  any  call  to  report  you, 
for  I  s’pose,  since  they  ’re  up,  they  might 

19 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

as  well  stay  ”  ;  and  Patty’s  voice  return¬ 
ing  :  “You  ’re  very  kind,  Mr.  Peters.  Of 
course  if  we ’d  known — ”  Priscilla  shut 
the  door  softly,  and  retired  around  the 
corner  to  await  Peters’s  departure. 

“  How  in  the  world  did  you  manage 
him  ?  ”  she  asked,  bursting  in  as  soon  as 
the  sound  of  his  footsteps  had  died  away 
down  the  corridor.  “  I  expected  to  sing  a 
requiem  over  your  remains,  and  I  found 
Peters  on  his  knees,  engaged  in  amicable 
conversation.” 

Patty  smiled  inscrutably.  “You  must 
remember,”  she  said,  “that  Peters  is  not 
only  a  janitor:  he  is  also  a  man.” 


P 


20 


II 

An  Early  Fright 


II 


An  Early  Fright 

t 


’LL  make  the  tea  to-day,”  said 
Patty,  graciously. 

“  As  you  please,”  said  Pris¬ 
cilla,  with  a  skeptical  shrug. 

Patty  bustled  about  amid  a  rattle  of 
china.  “The  cups  are  rather  dusty,”  she 
observed  dubiously. 

“You  ’d  better  wash  them,”  Priscilla 
returned. 

“No,”  said  Patty;  “it  ’s  too  much 
trouble.  Just  close  the  blinds,  please,  and 
we  ’ll  light  the  candles,  and  that  will  do  as 
well.  Come  in,”  she  called  in  answer  to  a 
knock. 

Georgie  Merriles,  Lucille  Carter,  and 
the  Bartlet  Twin  appeared  in  the  doorway. 

“  Did  I  hear  the  two  P’s  were  going  to 
serve  tea  this  afternoon  ?  ”  inquired  the 
Twin. 


23 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Yes  ;  come  in.  I  ’m  going  to  make  it 
myself,”  answered  Patty,  “  and  you  ’ll  see 
how  much  more  attentive  a  hostess  I  am 
than  Priscilla.  Here,  Twin,”  she  added, 
“you  take  the  kettle  out  and  fill  it  with 
water ;  and,  Lucille,  please  go  and  borrow 
some  alcohol  from  the  freshmen  at  the  end 
of  the  corridor ;  our  bottle ’s  empty.  I  ’d 
do  it  myself,  only  I  ’ve  borrowed  such  a 
lot  lately,  and  they  don’t  know  you,  you 
see.  And  —  oh,  Georgie,  you  ’re  an 
obliging  dear;  just  run  down -stairs  to  the 
store  and  get  some  sugar.  I  think  I  saw 
some  money  in  that  silver  inkstand  on 
Priscilla’s  desk.” 

“We  ’ve  got  some  sugar,”  objected 
Priscilla.  “  I  bought  a  whole  pound  yes¬ 
terday.” 

“No,  my  lamb ;  we  have  n’t  got  it  any 
more.  I  lent  it  to  Bonnie  Connaught  last 
night.  Just  hunt  around  for  the  spoons,” 
she  added.  “  I  think  I  saw  them  on  the 
bottom  shelf  of  the  bookcase,  behind  Kip- 
ling.” 

“  And  what,  may  I  ask,  are  you  going  to 
do  ?  ”  inquired  Priscilla. 

24 


An  Early  Fright 

“  I  ?  ”  said  Patty.  “  Oh,  I  am  going  to 
sit  in  the  arm-chair  and  preside.” 

Ten  minutes  later,  the  company  being 
disposed  about  the  room  on  cushions,  and 
the  party  well  under  way,  it  was  discovered 
that  there  were  no  lemons. 

“  Are  you  sure  ?  ”  asked  Patty,  anx¬ 
iously. 

“  Not  one,”  said  Priscilla,  peering  into 
the  stein  where  the  lemons  were  kept. 

“  I,”  said  Georgie,  “refuse  to  go  to  the 
store  again.” 

“No  matter,”  said  Patty,  graciously; 
“  we  can  do  very  well  without  them.”  (She 
did  not  take  lemon  herself.)  “The  object 
of  tea  is  not  for  the  sake  of  the  tea,  but 
for  the  conversation  which  accompanies  it, 
and  one  must  not  let  accidents  annoy  him. 
You  see,  young  ladies,”  she  went  on,  in  the 
tone  of  an  instructor  giving  a  lecture, 
“  though  I  have  just  spilled  the  alcohol 
over  the  sugar,  I  appear  not  to  notice  it, 
but  keep  up  an  easy  flow  of  conversation 
to  divert  my  guests.  A  repose  of  manner 
is  above  all  things  to  be  cultivated.”  Patty 
leaned  languidly  back  in  her  chair.  “  To- 

25 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

morrow  is  Founder’s  Day,”  she  resumed 
in  a  conversational  tone.  “  I  wonder  if 
many  — ” 

“  That  reminds  me,”  interrupted  the 
Twin.  “You  girls  need  n’t  save  any 
dances  for  my  brother.  I  got  a  letter  from 
him  this  morning  saying  he  could  n’t 
come.” 

“  He  has  n’t  broken  anything,  has  he  ?  M 
Patty  asked  sympathetically. 

“  Broken  anything  ?  ” 

“  Ah  —  an  arm,  or  a  leg,  or  a  neck.  Ac¬ 
cidents  are  so  prevalent  about  Founder’s 
time.” 

“  No  ;  he  was  called  out  of  town  on  im¬ 
portant  business.” 

“  Important  business  !  ”  Patty  laughed. 
“  Dear  man !  why  could  n’t  he  have  thought 
of  something  new  ?  ” 

“  I  think  myself  it  was  just  an  excuse,” 
the  Twin  acknowledged.  “  He  seemed  to 
have  an  idea  that  he  would  be  the  only 
man  here,  and  that,  alone  and  unaided,  he 
would  have  to  dance  with  all  six  hundred 
girls.” 


26 


An  Early  Fright 

Patty  shook  her  head  sadly.  “  They  ’re 
all  alike.  Founder’s  would  n’t  be  Foun¬ 
der’s  if  half  the  guests  did  n’t  develop  seri¬ 
ous  illness  or  important  business  or  dead 
relations  the  last  minute.  The  only  safe 
way  is  to  invite  three  men  and  make  out 
one  program.” 

“  I  simply  can’t  realize  that  to-morrow 
is  Founder’s,”  said  Priscilla.  “  It  does  n’t 
seem  a  week  since  we  unpacked  our  trunks 
after  vacation,  and  before  we  know  it  we 
shall  be  packing  them  again  for  Christ¬ 
mas.” 

“  Yes ;  and  before  we  know  it  we  ’ll  be 
unpacking  them  again,  with  examinations 
three  weeks  ahead,”  said  Georgie  the  pes¬ 
simist. 

“Oh,  for  the  matter  of  that,”  returned 
Patty  the  optimist,  “  before  we  know  it 
we  ’ll  be  walking  up  one  side  of  the 
platform  for  our  diplomas  and  coming 
down  the  other  side  blooming  alumnae.” 

“And  then,”  sighed  Georgie,  “before 
we  even  have  time  to  decide  on  a  career, 
we  ’ll  be  old  ladies,  telling  our  grand- 

27 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

children  to  stand  up  straight  and  remem¬ 
ber  their  rubbers.” 

“  And,”  said  Priscilla,  “  before  any  of  us 
get  any  tea  we  ’ll  be  in  our  graves,  if  you 
don’t  stop  talking  and  watch  that  kettle.” 

“  It ’s  boiling,”  said  Patty. 

“  Yes,”  said  Priscilla;  “  it ’s  been  boiling 
for  ten  minutes.” 

“  It ’s  hot,”  said  Patty. 

“  I  should  think  it  might  be,”  said  Pris¬ 
cilla. 

“  And  now  the  problem  is,  howto  get  it 
off  without  burning  one’s  self.” 

“You  ’re  presiding  to-day;  you  must 
solve  your  own  problems.” 

“’T  is  an  easy  matter,”  and  Patty  hooked 
it  off  on  the  end  of  a  golf-club.  “  Young 
ladies,”  she  said,  with  a  wave  of  the  kettle, 
“  there  is  nothing  like  a  college  education 
to  teach  you  a  way  out  of  every  difficulty. 
If,  when  you  are  out  in  the  wide,  wide 
world  — ” 

“Where,  oh,  where  are  the  grave  old  seniors?” 
chanted  the  Twin. 


28 


An  Early  Fright 

“  Where,  oh,  where  are  they?” 

The  rest  took  it  up,  and  Patty  waited  pa¬ 
tiently. 

“  They  ’ve  gone  out  of  Cairnsley’s  ethics, 
They ’ve  gone  out  of  Cairnsley’^  ethics, 
They ’ve  gone  out  of  Cairnsley’s  ethics, 

Into  the  wide,  wide  w-o-r-l-d.” 

“  If  you  have  finished  your  ovation, 
young  ladies,  I  will  proceed  with  my  lec¬ 
ture.  When,  as  I  say,  you  are  out  in  the 
wide,  wide  world,  making  five-o’clock  tea 
some  afternoon  for  one  of  the  young  men 
popularly  supposed  to  be  there,  who 
have  dropped  in  to  make  an  afternoon 
call  —  Do  you  follow  me,  young  ladies, 
or  do  I  speak  too  fast?  If,  while  you 
are  engaged  in  conversation,  the  kettle 
should  become  too  hot,  do  not  put  your 
finger  in  your  mouth  and  shriek  ‘  Ouch  !  ’ 
and  coquettishly  say  to  the  young  man, 
‘  You  take  it  off,’  as  might  a  young  woman 
who  has  not  enjoyed  your  advantages;  but, 
rather,  rise  to  the  emergency ;  say  to  him 
calmly,  4  This  kettle  has  become  over- 

29 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

heated ;  may  I  trouble  you  to  go  into  the 
hall  and  bring  an  umbrella  ?  ’  and  when 
he  returns  you  can  hook  it  off  gracefully 
and  expeditiously  as  you  have  seen  me 
do,  young  ladies,  and  the  young  — ” 

“  Patty,  take  care !  ”  This  from  Priscilla. 

“O-u-c-h!”  in  a  long-drawn  wail.  This 
from  Georgie. 

Patty  hastily  set  the  kettle  down  on  the 
floor.  “  I ’m  awfully  sorry,  Georgie.  Does 
it  hurt  ?  ” 

“  Not  in  the  least.  It ’s  really  a  pleas¬ 
ant  sensation  to  have  boiling  water 
poured  over  you.” 

The  Bartlet  Twin  sniffed.  “  I  smell 
burning  rug.” 

Patty  groaned.  “  I  resign,  Pris  ;  I  re¬ 
sign.  Here,  you  preside.  I  ’ll  never  ask 
to  make  it  again.” 

“  I  should  like,”  observed  the  Twin,  “to 
see  Patty  entertaining  a  young  man.” 

“  It ’s  not  such  an  unprecedented  event,” 
said  Patty,  with  some  warmth.  “You  can 
watch  me  to-morrow  night  if  it  will  give 
you  so  much  pleasure.” 

30 


An  Early  Fright 

“To-morrow  night?  Are  you  going  to 
have  a  man  for  the  Prom  ?  ” 

“That,”  said  Patty,  “is  my  intention.” 

“  And  you  have  n’t  asked  me  for  a 
dance !  ”  This  in  an  aggrieved  chorus 
from  the  entire  room. 

“  I  have  n’t  asked  anyone,”  said  Patty, 
with  dignity. 

“  Do  you  mean  you  ’re  going  to  have 
all  of  the  twenty  dances  with  him  your¬ 
self?” 

“  Oh,  no  ;  I  don’t  expect  to  dance  more 
than  ten  with  him  myself  —  I  have  n’t 
made  out  his  card  yet,”  she  added. 

“  Why  not  ?  ” 

“  I  never  do.” 

“  Has  he  been  here  before,  then?” 

“  No  ;  that ’s  the  reason.” 

“  The  reason  for  what  ?  ” 

“  Well,”  Patty  deigned  to  explain,  “  I ’ve 
invited  him  for  every  party  since  freshman 
year.” 

“  And  did  he  decline  ?  ” 

“  No  ;  he  accepted,  but  he  never  came.” 

“  Why  not  ?  ” 


31 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“He  was  scared.” 

“  Scared  ?  Of  the  girls  ?  ” 

“  Yes,”  said  Patty,  “  partly — but  mostly 
of  the  faculty.” 

“  The  faculty  would  n’t  hurt  him.” 

“  Of  course  not ;  but  he  could  n’t  under¬ 
stand  that.  You  see,  he  had  a  fright  when 
he  was  young.” 

“  A  fright  ?  What  was  it  ?  ” 

“Well,”  said  Patty,  “it  happened  this 
way :  It  was  while  I  was  at  boarding- 
school.  He  was  at  Andover  then,  and  his 
home  was  in  the  South;  and  one  time  when 
he  went  through  Washington  he  stopped 
off  to  call  on  me.  As  it  happened,  the 
butler  had  left  two  days  before,  and  had 
taken  with  him  all  the  knives  and  forks, 
and  all  the  money  he  could  find,  and  Nancy 
Lee’s  gold  watch  and  two  hat- pins,  and 
my  silver  hair-brush,  and  a  bottle  of 
brandy,  and  a  pie,”  she  enumerated  with 
a  conscientious  regard  for  details;  “and 
Mrs.  Trent  —  that  ’s  the  principal  —  had 
advertised  for  a  new  butler.” 

“  I  should  have  thought  the  old  one 

32 


An  Early  Fright 

would  have  discouraged  her  from  keeping 
butlers,”  said  Georgie. 

“  You  would  think  so,”  said  Patty ;  “  but 
she  was  a  very  persevering  woman.  On 
the  day  that  Raoul  —  that ’s  his  name  — 
came  to  call,  nineteen  people  had  applied 
for  the  place,  and  Mrs.  Trent  was  worn 
out  from  interviewing  them.  So  she  told 
Miss  Sarah  —  that  ’s  her  daughter — to 
attend  to  those  who  came  in  the  evening. 
Miss  Sarah  was  tall  and  wore  spectacles, 
and  was  —  was — ” 

“  A  good  disciplinarian,”  suggested  the 
Twin. 

“Yes,”  said  Patty,  feelingly,  “an  aw¬ 
fully  good  disciplinarian.  Well,  when 
Raoul  got  there  he  gave  his  card  to  Ellen 
and  asked  for  me;  but  Ellen  did  n’t  under¬ 
stand,  and  she  called  Miss  Sarah,  and 
when  Miss  Sarah  saw  him  in  his  evening 
clothes  she — ” 

“  Took  him  for  a  butler,”  put  in  Georgie. 

“Yes,  she  took  him  for  a  butler;  and 
she  looked  at  the  card  he ’d  given  Ellen, 
and  said  icily,  ‘  What  does  this  mean  ?  ’ 

33 


3 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“‘It  ’s —  it  ’s  my  name,’  he  stam¬ 
mered. 

“  ‘  I  see,’  said  Miss  Sarah  ;  ‘  but  where 
is  your  recommendation  ?  ’ 

“  ‘  I  did  n’t  know  it  was  necessary,’  he 
said,  terribly  scared. 

“  ‘  Of  course  it ’s  necessary,’  Miss  Sarah 
returned.  ‘  I  can’t  allow  you  to  come  into 
the  house  unless  I  have  letters  from  the 
places  where  you  ’ve  been  before.’ 

“  ‘I  did  n’t  suppose  you  were  so  strict,’ 
he  said. 

‘“We  have  to  be  strict,’  Miss  Sarah  an¬ 
swered  firmly.  ‘  Have  you  had  much  ex¬ 
perience  ?  ’ 

“  He  did  n’t  know  what  she  meant,  but 
he  thought  it  would  be  safest  to  say  he 
had  n’t. 

“  ‘  Then  of  course  you  won’t  do,’  she  re¬ 
plied.  ‘  How  old  are  you?  ’ 

“  He  was  so  frightened  by  this  time  that 
he  could  n’t  remember.  ‘  Nineteen,’  he 
gasped  —  ‘  I  mean  twenty.’ 

“  Miss  Sarah  saw  his  confusion,  and 
thought  he  had  designs  on  some  of  the 

34 


An  Early  Fright 

heiresses  intrusted  to  her  care.  ‘  I  don’t 
see  how  you  dared  to  come  here,’  she  said 
severely.  ‘  I  should  not  think  of  having 
you  in  the  house  for  a  moment.  You  ’re 
altogether  too  young  and  too  good-look¬ 
ing.’  And  with  that  Raoul  got  up  and 
bolted. 

“When  Ellen  told  Miss  Sarah  the  next 
day  that  he ’d  asked  for  me,  she  was  terri¬ 
bly  mortified,  and  she  made  me  write  and 
explain,  and  invite  him  to  dinner;  but  wild 
horses  could  n’t  have  dragged  him  into  the 
house  again.  He ’s  been  afraid  to  stop  off 
in  Washington  ever  since.  He  always 
goes  'straight  through  on  a  sleeper,  and 
says  he  has  nightmares  even  then.” 

“  And  is  that  why  he  won’t  come  to 
the  college  ?  ” 

“  Yes,”  said  Patty;  “that  s  the  reason. 

I  told  him  we  did  n’t  have  any  butlers 
here  ;  but  he  said  we  had  lady  faculty, 
and  that ’s  as  bad.” 

“  But  I  thought  you  said  he  was  coming 
to  the  Prom.” 

“  He  is  this  time.” 


35 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Are  you  sure  ?  ” 

“Yes,”  said  Patty,  with  ominous  em¬ 
phasis,  “  I  ’m  sure.  He  knows,”  she 
added,  “  what  will  happen  if  he  does  n’t.” 

“  What  will  happen  ?  ”  asked  the  Twin. 

“  Nothing.” 

The  Twin  shook  her  head,  and  Georgie 
inquired,  “  Then  why  don’t  you  make  out 
his  program  ?  ” 

“  I  suppose  I  might  as  well.  I  did  n’t 
do  it  before  because  it  sort  of  seemed  like 
tempting  Providence.  I  did  n’t  want  to 
be  the  cause  of  any  really  serious  accident 
happening  to  him,”  she  explained  a  trifle 
ambiguously  as  she  got  out  pencil  and  pa¬ 
per.  “  What  dances  can  you  give  me,  Lu¬ 
cille?  And  you,  Georgie,  have  you  got 
the  third  taken  ?  ” 

While  this  business  was  being  settled, 
a  knock  unheeded  had  sounded  on  the 
door.  It  came  again. 

“  What ’s  that  ?  ”  asked  Priscilla.  “  Did 
some  one  knock?  Come  in.” 

The  door  opened,  and  a  maid  stood 
upon  the  threshold  with  a  yellow  envelop 
in  her  hand.  She  peered  uncertainly 

36 


An  Early  Fright 

around  the  darkened  room  from  one  face 
to  another.  “  Miss  Patty  Wyatt?”  she 
asked. 

Patty  stretched  out  her  hand  in  silence 
for  the  envelop,  and,  propping  it  up  on 
her  desk,  looked  at  it  with  a  grim  smile. 

“  What  is  it,  Patty  ?  Are  n’t  you  going 
to  read  it  ?  ” 

“  There  ’s  no  need.  I  know  what  it 
says.” 

“Then  I  ’ll  read  it,”  said  Priscilla,  rip¬ 
ping  it  open. 

“  Is  it  a  leg  or  an  arm  ?  ”  Patty  inquired 
with  mild  curiosity. 

“  Neither,”  said  Priscilla ;  “  it ’s  a  collar¬ 
bone.” 

“Oh,”  murmured  Patty. 

“What  is  it?”  demanded  Georgie  the 
curious.  “  Read  it  out  loud.” 

“  New  Haven,  November  29. 

“  Broke  collar-bone  playing  foot-ball.  Hon¬ 
est  Injun.  Terribly  sorry.  Better  luck  next 
time.”  “  Raoul.” 

“There  will  not,”  observed  Patty,  “be 
a  next  time.” 


37 


/ 


Ill 

The  Impressionable 
Mr.  Todhunter 


v 


Ill 


The  Impressionable 
Mr.  Todhunter 

AS  the  mail  been  around 
yet?”  called  Priscilla  to  a 
girl  at  the  other  end  of  the 
corridor. 

“Don’t  believe  so.  It  has  n’t  been  in 
our  room.” 

“There  she  comes  now!”  and  Priscilla 
swooped  down  upon  the  mail-girl.  “  Got 
anything  for  399  ?  ” 

“  Do  you  want  Miss  Wyatt’s  mail  too  ?  ” 

“Yes;  I  ’ll  take  everything.  What  a 
lot!  Is  that  all  for  us?”  And  Priscilla 
walked  down  the  corridor  swinging  her 
note-book  by  its  shoe-string,  and  opening 
envelops  as  she  went.  She  was  pres¬ 
ently  joined  by  Georgie  Merriles,  likewise 
swinging  a  note-book  by  a  shoe-string. 

4i 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Hello,  Pris;  going  to  English  ?  Want 
me  to  help  carry  your  mail  ?  ” 

“  Thank  you,”  said  Priscilla  ;  “  you  may 
keep  the  most  of  it.  Now,  that,”  she 
added,  holding  out  a  blue  envelop,  “  is  an 
advertisement  for  cold  cream  which  no 
lady  should  be  without ;  and  that  ” — hold¬ 
ing  out  a  yellow  envelop — “  is  an  adver¬ 
tisement  for  beef  extract  which  no  brain¬ 
worker  should  be  without ;  and  that  ” — 
holding  out  a  white  envelop — “is  the 
worst  of  all,  because  it  looks  like  a  legiti¬ 
mate  letter,  and  it ’s  nothing  but  a  ‘  Dear 
Madam  ’  thing,  telling  me  my  tailor  has 
moved  from  Twenty-second  to  Forty-third 
Street,  and  hopes  I  ’ll  continue  to  favor 
him  with  my  patronage. 

“And  here,”  she  went  on,  turning  to 
her  room-mate’s  correspondence,  “is  a 
cold-cream  and  a  beef-extract  letter  for 
Patty,  and  one  from  Yale  ;  that ’s  probably 
Raoul  explaining  why  he  could  n’t  come 
to  the  Prom.  It  won’t  do  any  good, 
though.  No  mortal  man  can  ever  make 
her  believe  he  did  n’t  have  his  collar-bone 


42 


Impressionable  Mr.  Todhunter 

broken  on  purpose.  And  I  don’t  know 
whom  that ’s  from,”  Priscilla  continued,  ex¬ 
amining  the  last  letter.  “  It  ’s  marked 

‘  Hotel  A - ,  New  York.’  Never 

heard  of  it,  did  you?  Never  saw  the 
writing  before,  either.” 

Georgie  laughed.  “  Do  you  keep  tab 
on  all  of  Patty’s  correspondents  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  I  know  the  most  of  them  by  this 
time.  She  usually  reads  the  interesting 
ones  out  loud,  and  the  ones  that  are  n’t 
interesting  she  never  answers,  so  they 
stop  writing.  Hurry  up  ;  the  bell ’s  going 
to  ring  ” ;  and  they  pushed  in  among  the 
crowd  of  girls  on  the  steps  of  the  recita¬ 
tion-hall. 

The  bell  did  ring  just  as  they  reached 
the  class-room,  and  Priscilla  dropped  the 
letters,  without  comment,  into  Patty’s  lap 
as  she  went  past.  Patty  was  reading 
poetry  and  did  not  look  up.  She  had 
assimilated  some  ten  pages  of  Shelley 
since  the  first  bell  rang,  and  as  she  was 
not  sure  which  would  be  taken  up  in  class, 
she  was  now  swallowing  Wordsworth  in 

43 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

the  same  voracious  manner.  Patty’s 
method  in  Romantic  Poetry  was  to  be 
very  fresh  on  the  first  part  of  the  lesson, 
catch  the  instructor’s  eye  early  in  the  hour, 
make  a  brilliant  recitation,  and  pass  the 
remainder  of  the  time  in  gentle  medita¬ 
tion. 

To-day,  however,  the  unwonted  bulk 
of  her  correspondence  diverted  her  mind 
from  its  immediate  duty.  She  failed  to 
catch  the  instructor’s  eye,  and  the  recita¬ 
tion  proceeded  without  her  assistance. 
Priscilla  watched  her  from  the  back  seat 
as  she  read  the  Yale  letter  with  a  skepti¬ 
cal  frown,  and  made  a  grimace  over  the 
blue  and  the  yellow ;  but  before  she  had 

reached  the  Hotel  A - ,  Priscilla  was 

paying  attention  to  the  recitation  again. 
It  was  coming  her  way,  and  she  was  anx¬ 
iously  forming  an  opinion  on  the  essential 
characteristics  of  Wordsworth’s  view  of 
immortality. 

Suddenly  the  room  was  startled  by  an 
audible  titter  from  Patty,  who  hastily  com¬ 
posed  her  face  and  assumed  a  look  of 

44 


Impressionable  Mr.  Todhunter 

vacuous  innocence  —  but  too  late.  She 
had  caught  the  instructor’s  eye  at  last. 

“  Miss  Wyatt,  what  do  you  consider  the 
most  serious  limitations  of  our  author?  ” 

Miss  Wyatt  blinked  once  or  twice. 
This  question  out  of  its  context  was  not 
illuminating.  It  was  a  part  of  her  philos¬ 
ophy,  however,  never  to  flunk  flat ;  she 
always  crawled. 

“Well,”  she  began  with  an  air  of  pro¬ 
found  deliberation,  “  that  question  might 
be  considered  in  two  ways,  either  from  an 
artistic  or  a  philosophic  standpoint.” 

This  sounded  promising,  and  the  in¬ 
structor  smiled  encouragingly.  “Yes?” 
she  said. 

“  And  yet,”  continued  Patty,  after  still 
profounder  deliberation,  “  I  think  the  same 
reason  will  be  found  to  be  the  ultimate  ex¬ 
planation  of  both.” 

The  instructor  might  have  inquired, 
“Both  what?”  but  she  refrained  and 
merely  waited. 

Patty  thought  she  had  done  enough,  but 
she  plunged  on  desperately :  “In  spite  of 

45 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

his  really  deep  philosophy  we  notice  a  cer¬ 
tain  —  one  might  almost  say  dash  about 
his  poetry,  and  a  lack  of — er  —  medita¬ 
tion  which  I  should  attribute  to  his  imma¬ 
turity  and  his  a  —  rather  wild  life.  If  he 
had  lived  longer  I  think  he  might  have 
overcome  it  in  time.” 

The  class  looked  dazed,  and  the  corners 
of  the  instructor’s  mouth  twitched.  “  It 
is  certainly  an  interesting  point  of  view, 
Miss  Wyatt,  and,  as  far  as  I  know,  entirely 
original.” 

As  they  were  crowding  out  at  the  end 
of  the  recitation  Priscilla  pounced  upon 
Patty.  “  What  on  earth  were  you  saying 
about  Wordsworth’s  youth  and  imma¬ 
turity  ?”  she  demanded.  “  The  man  lived 
to  be  over  eighty,  and  composed  a  poem 
with  his  last  gasp.” 

“  Wordsworth  ?  I  was  talking  about 
Shelley.” 

“Well,  the  class  was  n’t.” 

“How  should  I  know?”  Patty  de¬ 
manded  indignantly.  “She  said  ‘our 
author,’  and  I  avoided  specific  details  as 
long  as  I  could.” 


46 


Impressionable  Mr.  Todhunter 

“  Oh,  Patty,  Patty  !  and  you  said  he  was 
wild  —  the  lamblike  Wordsworth!” 

“  What  were  you  laughing  at,  anyway  ?  ” 
demanded  Georgie. 

Patty  smiled  again.  “Why,  this,"  she 

said,  unfolding  the  Hotel  A -  letter. 

“  It  ’s  from  an  Englishman,  Mr.  Tod¬ 
hunter,  some  one  my  father  discovered 
last  summer  and  invited  out  to  stay  with  us 
for  a  few  days.  I  ’d  forgotten  all  about 
him,  and  here  he  writes  to  know  whether 
and  when  he  may  call,  and,  if  so,  will  it  be 
convenient  for  him  to  come  to-night. 
That  ’s  a  comprehensive  sentence,  is  n’t 
t?  His  train  gets  in  at  half-past  five  and 
le  ’ll  be  out  about  six.” 

“He  is  n’t  going  to  take  any  chances,” 
said  Priscilla. 

“  No,”  said  Patty;  “but  I  don’t  mind. 

[  invited  him  to  come  out  to  dinner  some 
light,  though  I  ’d  forgotten  it.  He  ’s 
*eally  very  nice,  and,  in  spite  of  what  the 
unny  papers  say  about  Englishmen,  quite 
mtertaining.” 

“  Intentionally  or  unintentionally?”  in¬ 
quired  Georgie. 


47 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Both,”  said  Patty. 

“  What ’s  he  doing  in  America  ?  ”  asked 
Priscilla.  “Not  writing  a  book  on  the 
American  Girl,  I  hope.” 

“  Not  quite  as  bad  as  that,”  said  Patty. 
“  He  ’s  corresponding  for  a  newspaper, 
though.”  She  smiled  dreamily.  “  He ’s 
very  curious  about  college.” 

“  Patty,  I  hope  you  were  not  guilty  of 
trying  to  make  an  Englishman,  a  guest  in 
your  father’s  house,  believe  any  of  your 
absurd  fabrications !  ” 

“Of  course  not,”  said  Patty;  “I  was 
most  careful  in  everything  I  told  him. 
But,”  she  acknowledged,  “he — he  gets 
impressions  easily.” 

“  It  is  easy  to  get  impressions  when  one 
is  talking  with  you,”  observed  Georgie. 

“  He  asked  me,”  Patty  continued,  ignor¬ 
ing  this  remark,  “what  we  studied  in  col¬ 
lege  !  But  I  remembered  that  he  was  an 
alien  in  a  foreign  land,  and  I  curbed  my 
natural  instincts,  and  outlined  the  courses 
in  the  catalogue  verbatim,  and  I  explained 
the  different  methods  of  instruction,  and 

48 


Impressionable  Mr.  Todhunter 

described  the  library  and  laboratories  and 
lecture-rooms.” 

“Was  he  impressed?”  asked  Priscilla. 

“  Yes,”  said  Patty  ;  “  I  think  you  might 
almost  say  dazed*  He  asked  me  apologeti¬ 
cally  if  we  ever  did  anything  to  relieve  the 
strain, —  had  any  amusements,  you  know, 
—  and  I  said,  oh,  yes;  we  had  a  Brown¬ 
ing  and  an  Ibsen  club,  and  we  sometimes 
gave  Greek  tragedies  in  the  original.  He 
was  positively  afraid  to  come  near  me 
again,  for  fear  I  ’d  forget  and  talk  to  him 
in  Greek  instead  of  English.” 

In  view  of  the  facts,  Patty’s  friends  con¬ 
sidered  this  last  remark  distinctly  humor¬ 
ous,  for  she  had  flunked  her  freshman 
Greek  three  times,  and  had  been  advised 
by  the  faculty  to  take  it  over  sophomore 
year. 

“  I  hope,  since  he ’s  a  newspaper  writer,” 
said  Priscilla,  “  that  you  ’ll  do  something 
to  lighten  his  impression,  or  he  ’ll  never 
favor  women’s  colleges  in  England.” 

“  I  had  n’t  thought  of  that,”  said  Patty  ; 
“  perhaps  I  ought.” 


4 


49 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

They  had  reached  the  steps  of  the  dor¬ 
mitory.  “  Let  ’s  not  go  in,”  said  Georgie; 
“let’s  go  down  to  Mrs.  Muldoon’s  and  get 
some  chocolate  cake.” 

“  Thank  you,”  said  Priscilla;  “I’m  in 
training.” 

“  Soup,  then.” 

“  Can’t  eat  between  meals.” 

“You  come,  then,  Patty.” 

“  Sorry,  but  I  ’ve  got  to  take  my  white 
dress  down  to  the  laundry  and  have  it 
pressed.” 

“  Are  you  going  to  dress  up  for  him  to 
the  extent  of  evening  clothes  ?  ” 

“Yes,”  said  Patty;  “I  think  I  owe  it 
to  the  American  Girl.” 

“Well,”  sighed  Georgie,  “  I ’m  hungry, 
but  I  suppose  I  might  as  well  go  in  and 
dress  that  doll  for  the  College  Settlement 
Association.  The  show ’s  to-night.” 

“Mine  ’s  done,”  said  Priscilla;  “and 
Patty  would  n’t  take  one.  Did  you  see 
Bonnie  Connaught  sitting  on  the  back  seat 
in  biology  this  morning,  hemming  her  doll’s 
petticoat  straight  through  the  lecture  ?  ” 

50 


Impressionable  Mr.  Todhunter 

“  Really  ?  ”  laughed  Patty.  “  It ’s  a 
good  thing  Professor  Hitchcock  ’s  near¬ 
sighted.” 

The  College  Settlement  Association,  by 
way  of  parenthesis,  was  in  the  habit  of 
distributing  three  hundred  dolls  among 
the  students  every  year  before  Christmas, 
to  be  dressed  and  sent  to  the  settlement 
in  New  York.  The  dolls  were  supposed 
to  be  so  well  dressed  that  the  East  Side 
mothers  could  use  them  as  models  for  the 
clothing  of  their  own  children,  though  it 
must  be  confessed  that  the  tendency  among 
the  girls  was  to  strive  for  effect  and  not 
for  detail.  On  the  evening  before  the 
dolls  were  to  be  shipped  a  doll  show  was 
regularly  held,  at  which  two  cents  admit¬ 
tance  was  charged  (stamps  accepted)  to 
pay  the  expressage. 

It  was  ten  minutes  past  six,  and  Phillips 
Hall  (such  of  it  as  was  not  late)  was  din¬ 
ing,  when  the  maid  arrived  with  Mr.  Al¬ 
gernon  Vivian  Todhunter’s  card.  Patty, 
-adiant  in  a  white  evening  gown,  was 

5i 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

trying,  with  much  squirming,  to  fasten  it 

in  the  middle  of  the  back. 

“Oh,  Sadie,”  she  called  to  the  maid, 

“  would  you  mind  coming  in  here  and 
buttoning  my  dress  ?  I  can  t  reach  it 

from  above  or  below.” 

“  You  look  just  beautiful,  Miss  Wyatt,” 

said  Sadie,  admiringly. 

Patty  laughed.  "  Do  you  think  I  can 
uphold  the  honor  of  the  nation  ?  ” 

“To  be  sure,  miss,”  said  Sadie,  politely. 
Patty  ran  down  the  corridor  to  the  door 
of  the  reception-room,  and  then  swept 
slowly  in  with  what  she  called  an  air  of  con¬ 
tinental  repose.  The  room  was  empty. 
She  o-lanced  about  in  some  surprise,  for 

is 

she  knew  that  the  two  reception-rooms  on 
the  other  side  of  the  hall  were  being  used 
for  the  doll  show.  She  tiptoed  over  and 
peered  in  through  the  half-open  door. 
The  room  was  filled  with  dolls  in  rows 
and  tiers ;  every  piece  of  furniture  was 
covered  with  them ;  and  in  a  far  corner,  at 
the  end  of  a  long  vista  of  dolls,  appeared 

52 


/ 


Impressionable  Mr.  Todhunter 

Mr.  Algernon  Vivian  Todhunter,  gingerly 
sitting  on  the  edge  of  a  chair,  surrounded 
by  flaxen-haired  baby  dolls,  and  awk¬ 
wardly  holding  in  his  lap  the  one  he 
had  displaced. 

Patty  drew  back  behind  the  door,  and 
spent  fully  three  minutes  in  regaining  her 
continental  repose ;  then  she  entered  the 
room  and  greeted  Mr.  Todhunter  effu¬ 
sively.  He  carefully  transferred  the  dolls 
to  his  left  arm  and  stood  up  and  shook 
hands. 

“  Let  me  take  the  little  dears,”  said 
Patty,  kindly ;  “  I  ’m  afraid  they  ’re  in 
your  way.” 

Mr.  Todhunter  murmured  something 
about  its  being  a  pleasure  and  a  privilege 
to  hold  them. 

Patty  plumped  up  their  clothes  and  re¬ 
arranged  them  on  the  sofa  with  motherly 
solicitude,  while  Mr.  Todhunter  watched 
her  gravely,  his  national  politeness  and 
his  reportorial  instinct  each  struggling  for 
the  mastery.  Finally  he  began  tenta- 

53 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

tively:  “I  say,  Miss  Wyatt,  do  —  er — the 
young  ladies  spend  much  time  playing 
with  dolls  ?  ” 

“No,”  said  Patty,  candidly;  “I  don’t 
think  you  could  say  they  spend  too  much. 
I  have  never  heard  of  but  one  girl  actually 
neglecting  her  work  for  it.  You  must  n’t 
think  that  we  have  as  many  dolls  as  this  here 
, every  night,”  she  went  on.  “It  is  rather 
an  unusual  occurrence.  Once  a  year  the 
girls  hold  what  they  call  a  doll  show  to 
see  who  has  dressed  her  doll  the  best.” 

“Ah,  I  see,”  said  Mr.  Todhunter;  “a 
little  friendly  rivalry.” 

“  Purely  friendly,”  said  Patty. 

As  they  started  for  the  dining-room 
Mr.  Todhunter  adjusted  his  monocle  and 
took  a  parting  look  at  the’doll  show. 

“  I  ’m  afraid  you  think  us  childish,  Mr. 
Todhunter,”  said  Patty. 

“Not  at  all,  Miss  Wyatt,”  he  assured 
her  hastily.  “  I  think  it  quite  charming, 
you  know,  and  so — er — unexpected.  I 
had  always  been  told  that  they  played 
somewhat  peculiar  games  at  these  women’s 

54 


Mr.  Algernon  Vivian  Todhunter,  gingerly  sitting 
on  the  edge  of  a  chair 


10NI1UJ*  A  J 
3H1  JO 


Aavaan 


Impressionable  Mr.  Todhunter 

colleges,  but  I  never  supposed  they  did 
anything  so  feminine  as  to  play  with  dolls.” 

When  Patty  returned  to  her  room  that 
night,  she  found  Georgie  and  Priscilla 
surrounded  by  grammars  and  dictionaries, 
doing  German  prose.  Her  appearance 
was  hailed  with  a  cry  of  indignant  protest. 

“When  /  have  a  man,”  said  Priscilla, 
“  I  divide  him  up  among  my  friends.” 

“ Especially  when  he  ’s  a  curiosity,” 
added  Georgie. 

“  And  we  dressed  up  in  grand  clothes, 
and  stood  in  your  way  coming  out  of 
chapel,”  went  on  Priscilla,  “and  you  never 
even  looked  at  us.” 

“Englishmen  are  so  bashful,”  apologized 
Patty  ;  “  I  did  n’t  want  to  frighten  him.” 

Priscilla  looked  at  her  suspiciously. 
“  Patty,  I  hope  you  did  n’t  impose  on  the 
poor  man’s  credulity.” 

“  Certainly  not !  ”  said  Patty,  with  dig¬ 
nity.  “  I  explained  everything  he  asked 
me,  and  was  most  careful  not  to  exag¬ 
gerate.  But,”  she  added  with  engaging 

55 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


frankness,  “  I  cannot  be  responsible  for 
any  impressions  he  may  have  obtained. 
When  an  Englishman  once  gets  an  idea, 
you  know,  it  s  almost  impossible  to 
change  it.” 


■» 


56 


IV 

A  Question  of  Ethics 


IV 


A  Question  of  Ethics 

ATTY’S  class-room  methods 
were  the  result  of  a  wide 
experience  in  the  professorial 
type  of  mind.  By  her  senior 
year  she  had  reduced  the  matter  of  recita¬ 
tion  to  a  system,  and  could  foretell  with 
unvarying  precision  the  day  she  would  be 
called  on  and  the  question  she  would  be 

asked.  Her  tactics  varied  with  the  sub- 

•  *  # 

ject  and  the  instructor,  and  were  the  result 
of  a  penetration  and  knowledge  of  human 
nature  that  might  have  accomplished 
something  in  a  worthier  cause. 

In  chemistry,  for  example,  her  instructor 
was  a  man  who  had  outlived  any  early 
illusions  in  regard  to  the  superior  con¬ 
scientiousness  of  girls  over  boys.  He  was 
not  by  nature  a  suspicious  person,  but  a 
long  experience  in  teaching  had  incul- 

59 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

cated  an  inordinate  wariness  which  was 
sometimes  out  of  season.  He  allowed  no 
napping  in  his  classes,  and  those  who  did 
not  pay  attention  suffered.  Patty  discov¬ 
ered  his  weakness  early  in  the  year,  and 
planned  her  campaign  accordingly.  As 
long  as  she  did  not  understand  the  experi¬ 
ment  in  hand,  she  would  watch  him  with  a 
face  beaming  with  intelligence  ;  but  when 
she  did  understand,  and  wished  to  recite, 
she  would  let  her  eyes  wander  to  the  win¬ 
dow  with  a  dreamy,  far-away  smile,  and, 
being  asked  a  question,  would  come  back 
to  the  realities  of  chemistry  with  a  start, 
and,  after  a  moment  of  ostentatious  pon¬ 
dering,  make  a  brilliant  recitation.  It 
must  be  confessed  that  her  moments  of 
abstraction  were  rare ;  she  was  far  too 
often  radiantly  interested. 

In  French  her  tactics  were  exactly  op¬ 
posite.  The  instructor,  with  all  the  native 
politeness  of  his  race,  called  on  those  only 
who  caught  his  eye  and  appeared  willing 
and  anxious  to  recite.  This  made  the 
matter  comparatively  simple,  but  still  re- 

60 


A  Question  of  Ethics 

quired  considerable  finesse.  Patty  dropped 
her  pen,  spilled  the  pages  from  her  note¬ 
book,  tied  her  shoe-string,  and  even 
sneezed  opportunely  in  order  not  to 
catch  his  eye  at  inconvenient  moments. 
The  rest  of  the  class,  who  were  not  artists, 
contented  themselves  with  merely  lower¬ 
ing  their  eyes  as  he  looked  along  the  line 
—  a  method  which  in  Patty’s  scornful  esti¬ 
mation  said  as  plainly  as  words,  “Please 
don’t  call  on  me;  I  don’t  know.” 

But  with  Professor  Cairnsley,  who 
taught  philosophy,  it  was  more  difficult 
to  form  a  working  hypothesis.  He  had 
grown  old  in  the  service  of  the  college, 
and  after  thirty  years’  experience  of  girl- 
nature  he  was  still  as  unsuspiciously  trust¬ 
ful  as  he  had  been  in  the  beginning. 
Taking  it  for  granted  that  his  pupils  were 
as  interested  in  the  contemplation  of 
philosophic  truths  as  he  himself,  the  pro¬ 
fessor  conducted  his  recitations  without  a 
suspicion  of  guile,  and  based  his  procedure 
entirely  upon  the  inspiration  of  the  mo¬ 
ment.  The  key  to  his  method  had  always 

61 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

remained  a  mystery,  and  several  genera¬ 
tions  of  classes  had  searched  for  it  in  vain. 
Some  averred  that  he  called  on  every 
seventh  girl;  others,  that  he  drew  lots. 
Patty  triumphantly  announced  early  in  the 
course  that  she  had  discovered  the  secret 
at  last — that  on  Monday  he  called  on  the 
red-haired  girls;  on  Tuesday,  those  with 
yellow  hair;  on  Wednesday  and  Thurs¬ 
day,  those  with  brown ;  and  on  Friday, 
those  with  black.  But  this  solution,  like 
the  others,  was  found  to  break  down  in 
actual  practice  ;  and  Patty,  for  one,  discov¬ 
ered  that  it  required  all  her  ingenuity,  and 
even  a  good  deal  of  studying,  to  maintain 
her  reputation  for  brilliancy  in  Professor 
Cairnsley’s  classes.  And  she  cared  about 
maintaining  it,  for  she  liked  the  professor 
and  was  one  of  his  favorite  pupils.  She 
had  known  his  wife  before  she  entered 
college,  and  she  often  called  upon  them  in 
their  home,  and,  in  short,  exemplified 
the  ideal  relations  between  faculty  and 
students. 

Owing  to  the  pressure  of  many  inter- 

62 


A  Question  of  Ethics 

sts,  Patty’s  researches  into  philosophy 
yere  not  as  deep  as  the  intentions  of  the 
ourse,  but  she  had  a  very  good  working 
nowledge,  which,  in  its  details,  would 
ave  astonished  Professor  Cairnsley  could 
e  have  got  behind  the  scenes.  Though 
er  knowledge  was  not  based  strictly  on 
ie  text-book,  her  reputation  in  the  class 
fas  good,  and,  as  Patty  admitted  with 
sigh,  “It’s  a  great  strain  on  the  im- 
gination  to  keep  up  a  reputation  in 
hilosophy.” 

It  had  been  established,  indeed,  as  far 
ack  as  her  sophomore  year,  when  the 
sychology  class  was  awed  into  silence  by 
s  first  introduction  to  the  abstractions  of 
:ience,  and  Patty  alone  had  dared  to  lift 
er  voice.  The  professor,  one  morning, 
ad  been  placidly  lecturing  along  on  the 
abject  of  sensation,  and  in  the  course  of 
le  lecture  had  remarked  :  “It  is  probable 
lat  the  individual  experiences  all  the  pri- 
tary  sensations  during  the  first  few  months 
f  infancy,  and  that  in  after  life  there  is  no 
ach  thing  as  a  new  sensation.” 

63 


When  Patty  Went  to'»  College 

“  Professor  Cairnsley,”  Patty  piped  up, 
‘‘did  you  ever  shoot  the  chutes?  ” 

The  ice  was  broken  at  last,  and  the  class 
felt  at  home,  even  in  the  somewhat  deep 
waters  of  philosophy  ;  and  Patty,  however 
undeservedly,  had  gained  the  credit  of 
having  a  deeper  insight  than  most  into 
matters  psychical. 

And  so  into  her  senior  year,  when  she 
entered  upon  the  study  of  ethics,  she  car¬ 
ried  along  an  unearned  and  fragile  repu¬ 
tation,  built  upon  subterfuges  and  likely  to 
crumble  at  the  slightest  touch.  She  had 
maintained  it  very  creditably  up  to  the 
Christmas  vacation,  and  had  argued  upon 
the  ultimate  ground  of  moral  obligation  and 
the  origin  of  conscience  quite  as  intelli¬ 
gently  as  though  she  had  previously  read 
what  the  text-book  had  to  say  on  the  sub¬ 
ject.  But  when  they  had  commenced  the 
study  of  specific  theologies,  based  upon 
definite  historical  facts,  Patty  found  her 
imagination  of  little  use,  and  on  several 
occasions  it  had  been  purely  good  luck 
that  had  saved  her  from  exposure.  Once 

64 


A  Question  of  Ethics 

the  bell  had  rung  at  an  opportune  moment, 
and  twice  she  had  been  able  to  avert  a 
direct  answer  by  leading  the  discussion 
into  side  issues.  She  realized,  however, 
that  fortune  would  not  always  favor  her, 
and  as  the  professor  usually  forgot  to  call 
the  roll,  she  formed  the  nefarious  practice 
of  cutting  class  when  she  did  not  have  her 
lesson. 

For  a  week  or  so  in  particular,  her 
pressure  of  work  in  other  directions  (not 
all  of  them  scholastic)  had  prevented  her 
from  devoting  her  usual  amount  of  energy 
to  the  task  of  maintaining  her  philosophy 
reputation,  and  she  had,  without  con¬ 
science,  cut  ethics  several  days  in  succes¬ 
sion,  and  had  failed  to  comment  upon  the 
fact  to  the  professor. 

“  What  did  he  lecture  about  in  ethics  — 
:hose  recitations  I  missed  ?  ”  she  inquired 
)f  Priscilla,  one  afternoon. 

“  Swedenborg/’ 

“Swedenborg,”  repeated  Patty,  dream- 
ly.  “  He  got  up  a  new  religion,  did  n’t 
le  ?  Or  was  it  a  new  system  of  gymnas- 

65 


5 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

tics?  I  ’ve  heard  about  him,  but  I  don’t 
seem  to  remember  any  details.” 

“You  ’d  better  make  him  up;  he  ’s 
important.” 

“  I  dare  say  ;  but  I  Ve  lived  twenty-one 
years  without  knowing  about  him,  and  I 
can  wait  a  month  longer.  I  ’m  saving  up 
Confucius  and  the  Jesuits  for  examination¬ 
time,  and  I  ’ll  add  Swedenborg  to  the  list. 

«  You ’d  better  not.  Professor  Cairns- 
ley ’s  fond  of  him,  and  is  likely  to  pop  a 
special  examination  at  any  moment. 

“  Not  Professor  Cairnsley,”  laughed 
Patty.  “  He  does  n’t  want  to  waste  the 
time.  He  s  going  to  lecture  straight  on 
for  two  weeks  —  nice  man ;  I  see  it  in 
his  eye.  What  I  admire  in  a  professor  is 
a  good,  steady,  plodding  disposition  that 
does  n’t  go  in  for  sensational  surprises.” 

“  You  ’ll  find  yourself  mistaken  some 

day,”  warned  Priscilla. 

“  No  danger,  my  dear  Cassandra.  I 
know  Professor  Cairnsley,  and  Professor 
Cairnsley  thinks  he  knows  me;  and  we 
just  get  along  together  beautifully.  I 


A  Question  of  Ethics 

wish  there  were  more  like  him,”  Patty 
added  with  a  sigh. 

Professor  Cairnsley  began  a  lecture  the 
next  morning  which  was  evidently  calcu¬ 
lated  to  extend  through  the  hour,  and 
Patty  cast  a  triumphant  glance  at  Priscilla 
as  she  unscrewed  the  top  of  her  fountain- 
pen  and  settled  down  to  work.  In  the 
course  of  the  lecture,  however,  he  had  oc¬ 
casion  to  refer  to  Swedenborg,  and,  paus¬ 
ing  a  moment,  he  casually  asked  a  girl  on 
the  front  seat  for  a  resume  of  Sweden¬ 
borg  s  philosophy.  She,  unfortunately 
confusing  him  with  Schopenhauer,  glibly 
attributed  to  him  doctrines  which  would 
have  outraged  his  soul  could  he  have 
heard  them.  It  is  written  that  the  worm 
will  turn,  and  the  professors  bland  smile 
deserted  him  as  he  passed  the  question  to 
a  second  girl  without  much  better  result. 
The  class  in  general  had  evidently  been 
laboring  under  Patty’s  delusion  that  the 
time  had  not  come  in  which  to  learn  back 
notes.  Amazed  and  indignant,  he  pur¬ 
sued  the  matter  with  a  persistency  and  a 

67 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

rancor  he  seldom  showed.  He  began 
going  straight  through  the  class,  growing 
more  and  more  sarcastic  with  each  reci¬ 
tation. 

As  she  saw  him  finish  with  the  row  in 
front  and  begin  on  her  row,  Patty  knew 
that  she  was  doomed.  She  racked  her 
brain  for  some  memory  of  Swedenborg. 
He  was  a  name  to  her  and  nothing  more. 
He  might  have  been  an  ancient  Greek  or 
a  modern  American,  for  all  she  knew.  As 
Professor  Cairnsley  came  along  the  line 
he  was  gradually  eliciting  from  the  terri¬ 
fied  class  the  superficial  points  which  were 
more  or  less  common  to  all  philosophers. 
Patty  perceived  that  her  imagination  could 
not  help  her  out,  that  for  once  the  placid 
professor  was  on  the  war-path,  and  that 
Swedenborg,  and  nothing  but  Sweden¬ 
borg,  would  serve.  She  cast  an  agonized 
glance  up  at  Priscilla,  and  Priscilla  grinned 
back  with  “  I  told  you  so  ”  written  on 
every  feature. 

Patty  looked  about  desperately.  The 
lecture-room  was  shaped  like  an  amphi- 

68 


=35 


A  Question  of  Ethics 


theater,  with  part  of  the  seats  on  a  level 
with  the  main  floor,  and  the  rest  rising  in 
tiers.  Patty  sat  on  the  main  floor,  well 
toward  the  rear.  She  could  barely  see 
the  professors  head,  but  he  was  coming 
irrevocably.  She  did  not  have  to  see  very 
clearly  to  know  that.  The  girl  before  her 
answered  wildly ;  the  professor  frowned, 
and,  looking  down  at  his  roll-book,  slowly 
and  deliberately  made  a  zero. 

When  he  raised  his  eyes  again  Patty’s 
seat  was  empty.  She  was  kneeling  on 
the  floor,  with  her  head  bowed  behind  the 
girl  in  front.  The  unconscious  professor 
passed  over  her  bent  head  and  called  on 
the  girl  on  the  other  side,  who  coughed 
hysterically  once  or  twice,  and  flunked 
flat ;  and  while  he  was  crediting  the  fact 
in  his  roll-book  Patty  resumed  her  seat. 
A  ripple  of  laughter  ran  around  the  room; 
the  professor  frowned,  and  remarked  that 
he  saw  no  occasion  for  amusement.  The 
bell  rang,  and  the  class  somewhat  sheep¬ 
ishly  filed  out. 

That  afternoon  Patty  burst  into  the 

69 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

study  where  Priscilla  and  Georgie  Merriles 
were  making  tea.  “  Did  you  ever  think 
I  had  much  of  a  conscience?”  she  de¬ 
manded. 

“  Never  thought  it  was  your  strong 

point,”  said  Georgie. 

“  Well,  I  ’ve  got  a  perfectly  tremendous 
one!  What  do  you  think  I  Ve  been 
doing  ?  ” 

“  Making  up  your  ethics  lectures,”  sug¬ 
gested  Priscilla. 

“Worse  than  that.” 

“You  have  fit  been  to  gym,  Patty! 

said  Georgie, 

“  Goodness,  no !  I  m  not  so  far  gone 
as  that.  Well,  I  ’ll  tell  you.  I  met  Pro¬ 
fessor  Cairnsley  by  the  gate  and  walked 
in  with  him,  and,  if  you  please,  he  compli¬ 
mented  me  on  my  work  in  ethics  !  ” 

“  That  ought  to  have  been  embarrass¬ 
ing,”  said  Georgie. 

“It  was,”  acknowledged  Patty.  “  I 
told  him  I  did  n’t  really  know  as  much  as 
he  thought  I  did.” 

“  What  did  he  say  ?  ” 

70 


A  Question  of  Ethics 

“He  said  I  was  too  modest.  He’s  such 
a  trustful  old  man,  you  know,  that  you 
sort  of  hate  to  deceive  him.  And  what 
do  you  think  ?  I  told  him  about  the  seat !  ” 

Priscilla  smiled  approvingly  upon  her 
usually  recreant  room-mate.  “Well, 
Patty,  you  certainly  are  better  than  I 
gave  you  credit  for  !  ” 

“Thank  you,”  murmured  Patty. 

“  I  begin  to  believe  you  have  got  a  con¬ 
science,”  said  Georgie. 

“An  excellent  one,”  said  Patty,  com¬ 
placently. 

“  It  pays  in  the  end,”  said  Priscilla. 

“It  does,”  agreed  Patty.  “Professor 
Cairnsley  said  he  would  explain  Sweden¬ 
borg  to  me  himself,  and  he  invited  me 
over  to  dinner  to-night !  ” 


7i 


. 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


V 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


HE  mysterious  Kate  Ferris, 
who  kept  Priscilla  on  the  verge 
of  nervous  prostration  for  a 
whole  semester,  entered  upon 
her  college  career  in  an  entirely  un¬ 
premeditated  and  impromptu  manner.  It 
began  one  day  away  back  in  November. 
Georgie  Merriles  and  Patty  had  just 
strolled  home  from  the  athletic  field,  where 
they  had  been  witnessing  the  start  of  a 
paper-chase  cross  country,  in  which  Pris¬ 
cilla  was  impersonating  a  fox.  As  they 
entered  the  study,  Georgie  stopped  to  ex¬ 
amine  some  loose  sheets  of  paper  which 
were  impaled  upon  the  door. 

“  What  ’s  this,  Patty  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  that  ’s  the  registration-list  for  the 
German  Club.  Priscilla  ’s  secretary,  you 
know,  and  every  one  who  wants  to  join 

75 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

comes  here.  The  study  has  been  so  full 
of  freshmen  all  the  time  that  I  told  her  to 
hang  it  on  the  door  and  let  them  join  out¬ 
side ;  it  works  beautifully.”  Patty  turned 
the  leaves  and  ran  her  eyes  down  the  list 
of  sprawling  signatures.  “  It ’s  a  popular 
organization,  is  n’t  it  ?  The  freshmen  are 
simply  scrambling  to  get  in.” 

“They  ’re  trying  to  show  Fraulein 
Scherin  how  much  interest  they  take  in 
the  subject,”  Georgie  laughed. 

Patty  picked  up  the  pencil.  “Would 
you  like  to  join  ?  I  know  Priscilla  would 
be  gratified.” 

“  No,  thank  you  ;  I  pay  club  dues  enough 
already.” 

“  I  ’m  afraid  I  ’m  not  exactly  eligible 
myself,  as  I  don’t  know  any  German.  It ’s 
such  a  beautifully  sharp  pencil,  though, 
that  I  hate  not  to  write  with  it.”  Patty 
poised  the  pencil  a  moment,  and  abstract¬ 
edly  traced  the  name  “  Kate  Ferris.” 

Georgie  laughed,  “  If  there  should 
happen  to  be  a  Kate  Ferris  in  college,  she 
would  be  surprised  to  find  herself  a  mem- 

76 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


ber  of  the  German  Club,”  and  the  incident 
was  forgotten. 

A  few  days  later  the  two  came  in  from 
class,  to  find  Priscilla  and  the  president  of 
the  German  Club  sitting  on  the  divan 
with  their  heads  together,  frantically  turn¬ 
ing  the  leaves  of  the  catalogue. 

“  She  is  n’t  a  sophomore,”  the  president 
announced.  “  She  must  be  a  freshman, 
Priscilla.  Look  again.” 

“  I  Ve  gone  over  this  list  three  times, 
and  there  is  n’t  a  single  Ferris  down.” 

Georgie  and  Patty  exchanged  glances 
and  inquired  the  trouble. 

“  A  girl  named  Kate  Ferris  has  regis¬ 
tered  for  the  German  Club,  and  we  ’ve 
gone  through  all  the  classes,  and  there 
simply  is  n’t  any  such  girl  in  college.” 

“Possibly  a  special,”  Patty  suggested. 

“Of  course  !  Why  did  n’t  we  think  of 
that?”  And  Priscilla  turned  to  the  list 
of  special  students.  “  No ;  she  is  n’t 
here.” 

“  Let  me  look  ”  ;  and  Patty  ran  her  eyes 
down  the  column.  “You  ’ve  mistaken 


77 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

the  name,”  she  remarked,  handing  the 
book  back  with  a  shrug. 

Priscilla  produced  the  registration-list, 
and  triumphantly  exhibited  an  unmistaka¬ 
ble  Kate  Ferris. 

“  They  forgot  to  put  her  in  the  cata¬ 
logue.” 

“  I  never  knew  them  to  make  such  a 
mistake  befofe,”  said  the  president,  dubi¬ 
ously.  “  I  don’t  believe  we  ’d  better  put 
her  in  the  roll-book  till  we  find  out  who 
she  is.” 

“Then  you  ’ll  hurt  her  feelings,”  said 
Georgie.  “  Freshmen  are  terribly  sensi¬ 
tive  about  being  slighted.” 

“  Oh,  very  well ;  it  does  n’t  matter.” 
And  Kate  Ferris  was  accordingly  enrolled 
in  the  club  records. 

Several  weeks  later  Priscilla  was  en¬ 
gaged  in  laboriously  turning  the  minutes 
of  the  last  meeting  into  grammatical  Ger¬ 
man,  and  as  she  closed  the  dictionary  and 
grammar  with  a  sigh  of  relief,  she  re- 
marked  to  Patty :  “  Do  you  know,  it  ’s 
very  queer  about  that  Kate  Ferris.  She 

78 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


has  n’t  paid  her  dues,  and,  as  far  as  I  can 
make  out,  she  has  n’t  attended  a  single 
meeting.  Would  n’t  you  take  her  name 
off  the  roll  ?  I  don’t  believe  she ’s  in  col¬ 
lege  any  more.” 

“You  might  as  well,”  said  Patty,  and 
she  listlessly  watched  Priscilla  as  she 
scratched  out  the  name  with  a  penknife. 
Patty  never  made  the  mistake  of  over¬ 
acting. 

The  next  morning,  as  Priscilla  came  in 
from  a  class,  she  found  a  note  on  her  door- 
block,  written  in  the  perpendicular  char¬ 
acters  of  Kate  Ferris.  It  ran  : 

Dear  Miss  Pond  :  I  came  to  pay  my  German 
Club  dues,  and  as  you  are  not  in,  I  have  left  the 
money  on  the  bookcase.  Am  sorry  to  have  missed 
so  many  meetings,  but  have  not  been  able  to 
attend  classes  lately.  Kate  Ferris. 

Priscilla  exhibited  the  note  to  the  presi¬ 
dent  as  a  tangible  proof  that  Kate  Ferris 
still  existed,  and  reinscribed  the  name  in 
the  roll-book. 

A  few  weeks  later  she  found  a  second 
note  on  her  door-block  : 


79 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Dear  Miss  Pond  :  As  I  am  very  busy  with 
my  class  work,  I  find  that  I  have  not  time  to 
attend  the  German  Club  meetings,  and  so  have 
decided  to  resign.  I  left  my  letter  of  resigna- 
tion  on  the  bookcase.  Kate  Ferris> 


As  Priscilla  scratched  the  name  out  of 
the  roll-book  again  she  remarked  to  Patty  : 
“  I  am  glad  this  Kate  Ferris  has  left  the 
club  at  last.  She  has  caused  me  more 
trouble  than  all  the  rest  of  the  members 
put  together.” 

The  next  morning  a  third  note  appeared 
on  the  block  : 


Dear  Miss  Pond  :  I  happened  to  mention 
the  fact  of  my  having  resigned  from  the  Ger¬ 
man  Club  to  Fraulein  Scherin  last  night,  and 
she  said  that  the  club  would  help  me  in  my 
work,  and  advised  me  to  stay  in  it.  So  I  shall 
be  much  obliged  if  you  will  not  present  my 
letter  at  the  meeting  after  all,  as  I  have  de- 
cided  to  follow  her  advice.  Kate  Ferris> 


Priscilla  tossed  the  note  to  Patty  with  a 
groan,  and  getting  out  the  roll-book,  she 
turned  to  the  F’s  and  reenrolled  Kate 
Ferris. 


80 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


Patty  sympathetically  watched  the  pro¬ 
cess  over  her  shoulder.  “The  book  is 
getting  so  thin  in  that  spot,”  she  laughed, 
“  that  Kate  Ferris  is  actually  coming 
through  on  the  other  side.  If  she  changes 
her  mind  many  more  times  there  won't  be 
anything  left.” 

“  I  'm  going  to  ask  Fraulein  Scherin 
about  her,”  Priscilla  declared.  “  She  's 
made  me  so  much  trouble  that  I ’m  curious 
to  see  what  she  looks  like.” 

She  did  ask  Fraulein  Scherin,  but  Frau¬ 
lein  denied  all  knowledge  of  the  girl.  “  I 
have  so  many  freshmen,”  she  apologized, 
“  I  cannot  all  of  them  with  their  queer 
names  remember.” 

Priscilla  inquired  about  Kate  Ferris 
from  the  freshmen  she  knew,  but  though 
all  of  them  thought  that  the  name  sounded 
familiar,  none  of  them  could  exactly  place 
her.  She  was  variously  described  as  tall 
and  dark  and  small  and  light,  but  further 
inquiry  always  proved  that  the  girl  they 
had  in  mind  was  some  one  else. 

Priscilla  kept  hearing  about  the  girl  on 
all  sides,  but  could  never  catch  a  glimpse 

81 


6 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

of  her.  Miss  Ferris  called  several  times 
on  business,  but  Priscilla  always  happened 
to  be  out.  Her  name  was  posted  on  the 
bulletin-board  for  having  library  books 
that  were  overdue.  She  even  wrote  a 
paper  for  one  of  the  German  Club  meet¬ 
ings  (Georgie  was  not  a  facile  German 
scholar,  and  it  had  required  a  whole  Satur¬ 
day)  ;  but  owing  to  the  fact  that  she  was 
suddenly  called  out  of  town,  she  did  not 
read  it  in  person. 

A  month  or  two  after  Kate  Ferris's 
advent,  Priscilla  had  friends  visiting  her 
from  New  York,  for  whom  she  gave  a  tea 
in  the  study. 

“I  am  going  to  invite  Kate  Ferris,”  she 
announced.  “  I  insist  upon  finding  out 
what  she  looks  like.” 

“  Do,”  said  Patty.  “  I  should  like  to 
find  out  myself.” 

The  invitation  was  despatched,  and  on 
the  next  day  Priscilla  received  a  formal 
acceptance. 

“  It 's  strange  that  she  should  send  an 
acceptance  for  a  tea,”  she  remarked  as  she 

82 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


read  it,  “  but  I  ’m  glad  to  get  it,  anyway. 

I  like  to  feel  sure  that  I  ’m  to  see  her  at 
last.” 

On  the  evening  of  the  tea,  after  the 
guests  had  gone  and  the  furniture  had 
been  moved  back,  the  weary  hostesses,  in 
somewhat  rumpled  evening  dresses  (a  con¬ 
siderable  crush  results  when  fifty  are  en¬ 
tertained  in  a  room  whose  utmost  capacity 
is  fifteen),  were  reentertaining  one  or  two 
friends  on  the  lettuce  sandwiches  and 
cakes  the  obliging  guests  had  failed  to 
consume.  The  company  and  the  clothes 
having  passed  in  review,  the  conversation 
flagged  a  little,  and  Georgie  suddenly 
asked:  “Was  Kate  Ferris  here?  I  was 
so  busy  passing  cakes  that  I  did  n’t  look, 
and  I  wanted  to  see  her  especially !  ” 

“  That  ’s  so  !  ”  Patty  exclaimed.  “  I 
did  n’t  see  her,  either.  She ’s  the  most 
abnormally  inconspicuous  person  I  ever 
heard  of.  What  did  she  look  like,  Pris  ?  ” 

Priscilla  knit  her  brows.  “  She  could 
n’t  have  come.  I  kept  watching  for  her 
all  the  evening.  It ’s  strange,  is  n’t  it  ? — 

83 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

when  she  was  so  careful  to  send  an  ac¬ 
ceptance.  I  ’m  growing  positively  morbid 
over  the  girl ;  I  begin  to  think  she  ’s 
invisible.” 

“  I  begin  to  think  so  myself,”  said 
Patty. 

The  next  morning’s  mail  brought  a 
bunch  of  violets  and  an  apology  from  Kate 
Ferris.  “  She  had  been  unavoidably 
detained.” 

“  It  ’s  positively  uncanny  !  ”  Priscilla 
declared.  “  I  shall  go  to  the  registrar 
and  tell  her  that  this  Kate  Ferris  is  neither 
down  in  the  catalogue  nor  the  college 
directory,  and  find  out  where  she  lives.” 

“  Don’t  do  anything  reckless,”  Georgie 
pleaded.  “  Take  what  the  gods  send  and 
be  grateful.” 

But  Priscilla  was  as  good  as  her  word, 
and  she  returned  from  the  registrar’s  of¬ 
fice  flushed  and  defiant.  “  She  insists 
that  there  is  n’t  any  such  person  in  college, 
and  that  I  must  have  made  a  mistake  in 
the  name  !  Did  you  ever  hear  anything 
so  absurd  ?  ” 


84 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


“That  seems  to  me  the  only  reasonable 
explanation,”  Patty  agreed  amicably. 
“  Perhaps  it  is  Harris  instead  of  Ferris.” 

Priscilla  faced  her  ominously.  “  You 
read  the  name  yourself.  It  was  as  plain 
as  printing.” 

“We  ’re  all  liable  to  make  mistakes,” 
Patty  murmured  soothingly. 

“Do  you  know,”  said  Georgie,  “  I  begin 
to  think  it  ’s  all  a  hallucination,  and  that 
there  really  is  n’t  any  Kate  Ferris.  It ’s 
strange,  of  course,  but  not  any  stranger 
than  some  of  those  cases  you  read  about  in 
psychology.” 

“  Hallucinations  don’t  send  flowers,”  said 
Priscilla,  hotly  ;  and  she  stalked  out  of  the 
room,  leaving  Patty  and  Georgie  to  review 
the  campaign. 

“I’m  afraid  it ’s  gone  far  enough,”  said 
Georgie.  “  If  she  bothers  the  office  very 
much  there  ’ll  be  an  official  investiga¬ 
tion.” 

“I  ’m  afraid  so,”  sighed  Patty.  “  It’s 
been  very  entertaining,  but  she  is  really 
getting  sensitive  on  the  subject,  and  I  don’t 

85 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

dare  mention  Kate  Ferris’s  name  when 
we  ’re  alone.” 

“  Shall  we  tell  her  ?  ” 

Patty  shook  her  head.  “  Not  just  now 
—  I  should  n’t  dare.  She  believes  in  cor¬ 
poral  punishment.” 

A  few  days  later  Priscilla  received  an¬ 
other  note  directed  in  the  hand  she  had 
come  to  dread.  She  threw  it  into  the 
waste-basket  unopened ;  but,  curiosity 
prevailing,  she  drew  it  out  again  and 
read  it: 

Dear  Miss  Pond  :  As  I  have  been  obliged 
to  leave  college  on  account  of  my  health,  I  in¬ 
close  my  resignation  to  the  German  Club.  I 
thank  you  very  sincerely  for  your  kindness  to 
me  this  year,  and  shall  always  look  back  upon 
our  friendship  as  one  of  the  happiest  memories 
of  my  college  life. 

Yours  sincerely, 

Kate  Ferris. 

When  Patty  came  in  she  found  Priscilla 
silently  and  grimly  scratching  a  h6le  into 
the  roll-book  where  Kate  Ferris’s  name 
had  been. 


86 


The  Elusive  Kate  Ferris 


“  Changed  her  mind  again  ?  ”  Patty 
asked  pleasantly. 

“  She  ’s  left  college,”  Priscilla  snapped, 
“and  don’t  you  ever  mention  her  name  to 
me  again.” 

Patty  sighed  sympathetically  and  re¬ 
marked  to  the  room  in  general:  “  It ’s  sort 
of  pathetic  to  have  your  whole  college  life 
summed  up  in  a  hole  in  the  German  Club 
archives.  I  can’t  help  feeling  sorry  for 
her !  ” 


87 


VI 

A  Story  with  Four  Sequels 


VI 


A  Story  with  Four  Sequels 

T  was  Saturday,  and  Patty  had 
been  working  ever  sincebreak- 
fast,  with  a  brief  pause  for 
luncheon,  on  a  paper  entitled 
“  Shakspere,  the  Man.”  At  four  o’clock 
she  laid  down  her  pen,  pushed  her  manu¬ 
script  into  the  waste-basket,  and  faced  her 
room-mate  defiantly. 

“  What  do  I  care  about  Shakspere,  the 
man  ?  He ’s  been  dead  three  hundred 
years.” 

Priscilla  laughed  unfeelingly.  “What 
do  I  care  about  a  frog’s  nervous  system, 
for  the  matter  of  that  ?  But  I  am  writing 
an  interesting  monograph  on  it,  just  the 
same.” 


9i 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Ah,  I  dare  say  you  are  making  a  val¬ 
uable  addition  to  the  subject.” 

“  It ’s  quite  as  valuable  as  your  addition 
to  Shaksperiana.” 

Patty  dropped  a  voluble  sigh  and  turned 
to  the  window  to  note  that  it  was  raining 
dismally. 

“Oh,  hand  it  in,”  said  Priscilla,  com¬ 
fortingly.  “  You ’ve  worked  on  it  all  day, 
and  it ’s  probably  no  worse  than  the  most 
of  your  things.” 

“No  sense  to  it,”  said  Patty. 

“They  Ve  used  to  that,”  laughed  Pris¬ 
cilla. 

“  What  are  you  laughing  at,  anyway  ?  ” 
Patty  asked  crossly.  “  I  don’t  see  anything 
to  laugh  at  in  this  beastly  place.  Always 
having  to  do  what  you  don’t  want  to  do 
when  you  most  don’t  want  to  do  it.  Just 
the  same,  day  after  day :  get  up  by  bells, 
eat  by  bells,  sleep  by  bells.  I  feel  like 
some  sort  of  a  delinquent  living  in  an 
asylum.” 

Priscilla  treated  this  outburst  with  the 
silence  it  deserved,  and  Patty  turned  back 

92 


A  Story  with  Four  Sequels 

to  her  perusal  of  the  rain-soaked  cam¬ 
pus. 

“  I  wish  something  would  happen,”  she 
said  discontentedly.  “  I  think  I  ’ll  put  on 
a  mackintosh  and  go  out  in  search  of 
adventure.” 

“  Pneumonia  will  happen  if  you  do.” 

“  What  business  has  it  to  be  raining, 
anyway,  when  it  ought  to  be  snowing  ?  ” 

As  this  was  unanswerable,  Priscilla 
returned  to  her  frogs,  and  Patty  drummed 
gloomily  on  the  window-pane  until  a  maid 
appeared  with  a  card. 

“  A  caller  ?  ”  cried  Patty.  “  A  mission¬ 
ary  !  A  rescuer  !  A  deliverer  !  Heaven 
send  it ’s  for  me  !  ” 

“  Miss  Pond,”  said  Sadie,  laying  the 
card  on  the  table. 

Patty  pounced  upon  it.  “‘Mr.  Frede¬ 
rick  K.  Stanthrope.’  Who  ’s  he,  Pris  ?  ” 

Priscilla  wrinkled  up  her  brows.  “  I 
don’t  know  ;  I  never  heard  of  him.  What 
do  you  suppose  it  can  be  ?  ” 

“An  adventure — I  know  it  ’s  an  ad¬ 
venture.  Probably  your  uncle,  that  you 

93 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

never  heard  of,  has  just  died  in  the  South 
Sea  Islands,  and  left  you  a  fortune  because 
you  ’re  his  namesake ;  or  else  you  ’re  a 
countess  by  rights,  and  were  stolen  from 
your  cradle  in  infancy,  and  he ’s  the  law¬ 
yer  come  to  tell  you  about  it.  I  think  it 
might  have  happened  to  me,  when  I ’m  so 
bored  to  death  !  But  hurry  up  and  tell  me 
about  it,  at  least ;  a  second-hand  adven¬ 
ture  ’s  better  than  no  adventure  at  all. 
Yes,  your  hair  is  all  right;  never  mind 
looking  in  the  glass.”  And  Patty  pushed 
her  room-mate  out  of  the  door,  and,  sitting 
down  at  her  desk  again,  quite  cheerfully 
pulled  her  discarded  paper  out  of  the 
waste-basket  and  began  re-reading  it  with 
evident  approval. 

Priscilla  returned  before  she  had  fin¬ 
ished.  “  He  did  n’t  ask  for  me  at  all,” 
she  announced.  “  He  asked  for  Miss 
McKay.” 

“  Miss  McKay  ?  ” 

“That  junior  with  the  hair,”  she  ex¬ 
plained  a  trifle  vaguely. 

“How  disgusting  !  ”  cried  Patty.  “I 

94 


A  Story  with  Four  Sequels 

had  it  all  planned  how  I  was  going-  to  live 
with  you  in  your  castle  up  in  the  Hartz 
Mountains,  and  now  it  turns  out  that  Miss 
McKay  is  the  countess,  and  I  don’t  even 
know  her.  What  did  the  man  look  like, 
and  what  did  he  do  ?  ” 

“  Well,  he  looked  rather  frightened,  and 
did  n’t  do  anything  but  stammer.  There 
were  two  men  in  the  reception-room,  and 
of  course  I  picked  out  the  wrong  one  and 
begged  his  pardon,  and  asked  if  he  were 
Mr.  Stanthrope.  He  said  no  ;  his  name 
was  Wiggins.  So  then  the  only  thing  left 
for  me  to  do  was  to  beg  the  other  one’s 
pardon. 

“  He  was  sitting  in  that  high-backed 
green  chair,  with  his  eyes  glued  to  his 
shoes,  and  holding  his  hat  and  cane  in 
front  of  him  like  breastworks,  as  if  he 
were  preparing  to  repel  an  attack.  He 
did  n’t  look  very  approachable,  but  I 
boldly  accosted  him  and  asked  if  he  were 
Mr.  Stanthrope.  He  stood  up  and  stam¬ 
mered  and  blushed  and  looked  as  if  he 
wanted  to  deny  it,  but  finally  acknow- 

95 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

ledged  that  he  was,  and  then  stood  po¬ 
litely  waiting  for  me  to  state  my  business  ! 
I  explained,  and  he  stammered  some  more, 
and  finally  got  out  that  he  had  called  to 
see  Miss  McKay,  and  that  the  maid  must 
have  made  a  mistake.  He  was  quite 
cross  about  it,  you  know,  and  acted  as  if  I 
had  insulted  him;  and  the  other  man  —  the 
horrible  Wiggins  one  —  laughed,  and  then 
looked  out  of  the  window  and  pretended 
he  had  n’t.  I  apologized, —  though  I 
could  n’t  for  the  life  of  me  see  what  there 
was  to  apologize  for, —  and  told  him  I 
would  send  the  maid  for  Miss  McKay, 
and  backed  out.” 

“  Is  that  all  ?  ”  Patty  asked  disap¬ 
pointedly.  “  If  I  could  n’t  have  a  better 
adventure  than  that,  I  should  n’t  have 
any.” 

“  But  the  funny  thing  is  that  when  I 
told  Sadie,  she  insisted  that  he  had  asked 
for  me.” 

“Ha!  The  plot  thickens,  after  all. 
What  does  it  mean  ?  Did  he  look  like  a 
detective,  or  merely  a  pickpocket  ?  ” 

96 


A  Story  with  Four  Sequels 

“  He  looked  like  a  very  ordinarily  em¬ 
barrassed  young  man.” 

Patty  shook  her  head  dejectedly. 
“  There  ’s  a  mystery  somewhere,  but  I 
don’t  see  that  it  affords  much  entertain¬ 
ment  I  dare  say  that  when  Miss  McKay 
came  he  told  her  he  had  n’t  asked  for  her 
at  all ;  he  had  asked  for  Miss  Higgin¬ 
botham.  The  only  explanation  I  can 
think  of  is  that  he  is  insane,  and  there  are 
so  many  insane  people  in  the  world  that  it 
is  n’t  even  interesting.” 

Patty  recounted  the  story  of  Priscilla’s 
caller  at  the  dinner-table  that  night. 

“I  know  the  sequel,”  said  Lucille  Car¬ 
ter.  “  The  other  man,  the  Mr.  Wiggins, 
is  Bonnie  Connaught’s  cousin  ;  and  he  told 
her  about  some  young  man  who  came  out 
in  the  car  with  him,  and  asked  for  Miss 
Pond  at  the  door,  and  then  all  of  a  sudden 
seemed  to  change  his  mind,  and  went 
tearing  down  the  corridor  after  the  maid, 
yelling,  “Hi,  there!  Hi,  there  !”  at  the 
top  of  his  voice  ;  but  he  coidd  n’t  catch 
her,  and  when  Miss  Pond  came  he 


7 


97 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

pretended  he  had  asked  for  some  one 
else.” 

“  Is  that  all?  ”  asked  Patty.  “  I  don’t 
think  it  is  much  of  a  sequel.  It  just 
proves  that  there ’s  a  plot  against  Priscil¬ 
la’s  life,  and  I  already  knew  that.  I  in¬ 
tend  to  ask  Miss  McKay  about  him.  I 
don’t  know  her,  except  by  sight,  but  in  a 
case  of  life  and  death  like  this,  I  don’t 
think  it ’s  necessary  to  wait  for  an  intro¬ 
duction.” 

The  next  evening  Patty  announced : 
“Sequel  number  two  !  Mr.  Frederick  K. 
Stanthrope  lives  in  New  York,  and  is 
Miss  McKay’s  brother’s  best  friend.  She 
has  only  met  him  once  before,  and  does 
n’t  know  any  of  his  past  affiliations.  But 
the  queer  thing  is  that  he  never  men¬ 
tioned  to  her  anything  about  Priscilla. 
Should  n’t  you  naturally  think  he  would 
have  told  her  about  such  a  funny  mis¬ 
take  ? 

“  In  my  opinion,”  Patty  continued  sol¬ 
emnly,  “  it  was  plainly  premeditated.  He 
is  undoubtedly  a  villain  in  disguise,  and 

98 


A  Story  with  Four  Sequels 

he  used  his  acquaintance  with  Miss 
McKay  as  a  cloak  to  elude  detection. 
My  theory  is  this:  He  got  Priscilla’s 
name  out  of  the  catalogue,  and  came  here 
intending  to  murder  her  for  her  jools;  but 
when  he  saw  how  big  she  was  he  was 
scared  and  so  abandoned  his  dastardly 
intent.  Now  if  he  had  chosen  me,  my 
body  would,  at  this  moment,  have  been 
concealed  behind  the  sofa,  and  my  class- 
pin  reposing  in  the  murderer’s  pocket.” 

Patty  shuddered.  “Think  what  I  es¬ 
caped.  And  all  the  time  I  was  grumbling 
because  nothing  ever  happens  here  !  ” 

•  A  few  days  later  she  appeared  at  the 
table  with  a  further  announcement:  “I 
have  the  pleasure  of  offering  for  your 
perusal,  young  ladies,  the  third  and  last 
sequel  in  the  great  Stanthrope-Pond- 
McKay  mystery.  And  I  hereby  take  the 
opportunity  of  apologizing  to  Mr.  Stan- 
thrope  for  my  unworthy  suspicions.  He 
is  not  a  burglar,  nor  a  detective,  nor  a 
murderer,  nor  even  a  lawyer,  but  just  a 
poor  young  man  with  a  buried  romance.” 


99 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  How  did  you  find  out  ?  ” —  in  a  chorus 
of  voices. 

“  I  just  met  Miss  McKay  in  the  hall, 
and  she  has  been  in  New  York,  where  her 
brother  told  her  the  particulars.  It  seems 
that  three  or  four  years  ago  Mr.  Frederick 
K.  Stanthrope  was  engaged  to  a  girl  here 
in  college  named  Alice  Pond  she  is  now 
Mrs.  Hiram  Brown,  but  that  has  nothing 

to  do  with  the  story. 

“  Being  in  town  last  Saturday  on  busi¬ 
ness,  he  decided  to  run  out  and  call  on 
Miss  McKay,  as  he  was  such  a  friend  of 
her  brother’s  —  and  also  for  the  sake  of 
old  times.  He  amused  himself  all  the 
way  out  in  the  car  by  resurrecting  his 
buried  romance,  and  he  kept  getting  more 
and  more  pensive  with  every  mile.  When 
he  finally  reached  the  door  and  handed 
his  card  to  the  maid,  he  abstractedly 
called  for  Miss  Pond  just  as  he  used  to  do 
four  years  ago.  He  did  n  t  realize  at  first 
what  he  had  done.  Then  it  came  over  him 
in  a  flash,  but  he  could  n’t  catch  Sadie.  He 
knew,  of  course,  that  the  other  man  had 


ioo 


A  Story  with  Four  Sequels 

heard,  and  he  sat  there  scared  to  death, 
trying  to  think  of  some  plausible  excuse, 
and  momentarily  expecting  a  strange 
Miss  Pond  to  pop  in  and  demand  an 
explanation. 

“  Sure  enough,  the  curtains  parted,  and 
a  tall,  beautiful,  stately  creature  (I  quote 
Miss  McKay’s  brother)  swept  into  the 
room,  and,  approaching  the  wrong  man, 
asked  him  in  haughty  tones  if  he  were 
Mr.  Frederick  K.  Stanthrope.  He  very 
properly  denied  it,  whereupon  there  was 
nothing  for  the  right  Mr.  Stanthrope  to 
do  but  stand  up  and  acknowledge  it  like 
a  man,  which  he  did  ;  but  there  he  stuck. 
His  imagination  was  numbed,  paralyzed ; 
so  he  turned  it  off  on  poor  Sadie,  and  all 
the  time  he  knew  that  the  other  man  knew 
that  he  was  lying.  And  that  is  all,”  Patty 
finished.  “  It ’s  not  much  of  a  story,  but 
such  as  it  is,  it  ’s  a  blessing  to  have  it 
concluded.” 

“  Patty,”  called  Priscilla,  from  the  other 
end  of  the  table,  “  have  you  been  telling 
them  that  absurd  story  ?  ” 


IOI 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Why  not?”  asked  Patty.  “Having 
heard  so  many  sequels,  they  naturally 
wanted  to  hear  the  last.” 

Priscilla  laughed.  “  But  yours  does  n’t 
happen  to  be  the  last.  I  know  a  still 
later  one.” 

“  Later  than  Patty’s  ?  ”  the  table  de¬ 
manded. 

“  Yes,  later  than  Patty’s.  It  is  n’t 
really  a  sequel ;  it  ’s  just  an  appendix. 
I  should  n’t  tell  you,  only  you  ’ll  find  it 
out,  so  I  might  as  well.  Miss  McKay  has 
invited  two  men  for  the  junior  party,  and 
both  have  accepted.  As  two  men  are 
hard  to  manage,  she  has  (by  request) 
asked  me  to  take  care  of  one  of  them  — 
namely,  Mr.  Frederick  K.  Stanthrope.” 

Patty  sighed.  “  I  see  a  whole  series  of 
sequels  stretching  away  into  the  future. 
It ’s  worse  than  the  Elsie  Books  !  ” 


102 


VII 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 


VII 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 


ELLO,  Patty  !  Have  you  read 
the  bulletin-board  this  morn¬ 
ing?”  called  Cathy  Fair,  as 
she  caught  up  with  Patty  on 
the  way  home  from  a  third-hour  recitation. 

“No,”  said  Patty;  “I  think  it ’s  a  bad 
habit.  You  see  too  many  unpleasant 
things  there.” 

“Well,  there ’s  certainly  an  unpleasant 
one  to-day.  Miss  Skelling  wishes  the 
Old  English  class  to  be  provided  with 
writing  materials  this  afternoon.” 

Patty  stopped  with  a  groan.  “  I  think 
it ’s  absolutely  abominable  to  give  an  ex¬ 
amination  without  a  word  of  warning.” 

“Not  an  examination,”  quoted  Cathy; 

105 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“just  a  ‘  little  test  to  see  how  much  you 
know.’  ”  '  , 

“  I  don’t  know  a  thing,”  wailed  Patty — 
“not  a  blessed  thing.” 

“Nonsense,  Patty;  you  know  more 
than  any  one  else  in  the  class.” 

“  Bluff — it ’s  all  pure  bluff.  I  come  in 
strong  on  the  literary  criticism  and  the 
general  discussions,  and  she  never  realizes 
that  I  don’t  know  a  word  of  the  grammar.” 

“You ’ve  got  two  hours.  You  can  cut 
your  classes  and  review  it  up.” 

“Two  hours!”  said  Patty,  sadly.  “I 
need  two  days.  I  ’ve  never  learned  it,  I 
tell  you.  The  Anglo-Saxon  grammar  is 
a  thing  no  mortal  can  carry  in  his  head, 
and  I  thought  I  might  as  well  wait  and 
learn  it  before  examinations.” 

“  I  don’t  wish  to  appear  unfeeling,” 
laughed  Cathy,  “but  I  should  say,  my 
dear,  that  it  serves  you  right.” 

“Oh,  I  dare  say,”  said  Patty.  “You 
are  as  bad  as  Priscilla  ” ;  and  she  trailed 
gloomily  homeward. 

She  found  her  friends  reviewing  biology 

106 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 

and  eating  olives.  “  Have  one  ?  ”  asked 
Lucille  Carter,  who,  provided  with  a  hat¬ 
pin  by  way  of  fork,  was  presiding  over 
the  bottle  for  the  moment. 

“  No,  thanks,”  returned  Patty,  in  the 
tone  of  one  who  has  exhausted  life  and 
longs  for  death. 

“What  ’s  the  matter?”  inquired  Pris¬ 
cilla.  “You  don’t  mean  to  say  that 
woman  has  given  you  another  special 
topic  ?  ” 

“  Worse  than  that !  ”  and  Patty  laid  bare 
the  tragedy. 

A  sympathetic  silence  followed ;  they 
realized  that  while  she  was,  perhaps,  not 
strictly  deserving  of  sympathy,  still  her 
impending  fate  was  of  the  kind  that  might 
overtake  any  one. 

“You  know,  Pris,”  said  Patty,  miser¬ 
ably,  “that  I  simply  cant  pass.” 

“No,”  said  Priscilla,  soothingly;  “I 
don’t  believe  you  can.” 

“I  shall  flunk  flat  —  absolutely  flat. 
Miss  Skelling  will  never  have  any  confi¬ 
dence  in  me  again,  and  will  make  me 

107 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

recite  every  bit  of  grammar  for  the  rest 
of  the  semester.” 

“  I  should  think  you  ’d  cut,”  ventured 
Georgie  —  that  being,  in  her  opinion,  the 
most  obvious  method  of  escaping  an  ex¬ 
amination. 

“  I  cant.  I  just  met  Miss  Skelling  in 
the  hall  five  minutes  before  the  blow  fell, 
and  she  knows  I  ’m  alive  and  able  to  be 
about;  besides,  the  class  meets  again  to¬ 
morrow  morning,  and  I  ’d  have  to  cram 
all  night  or  cut  that  too.” 

“Why  don’t  you  go  to  Miss  Skelling 
and  frankly  explain  the  situation,’  sug¬ 
gested  Lucille  the  virtuous,  “and  ask  her 

o  * 

to  let  you  off  for  a  day  or  two?  She 
would  like  you  all  the  better  for  it.” 

“  Will  you  listen  to  the  guileless  babe  !” 
said  Patty.  “What  is  there  to  explain, 
may  I  ask?  I  can’t  very  well  tell  her 
that  I  prefer  not  to  learn  the  lessons  as 
she  gives  them  out,  but  think  it  easier  to 
wait  and  cram  them  up  at  one  fell  swoop, 
just  before  examinations.  That  would  in¬ 
gratiate  myself  in  her  favor  !  ” 

108 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 

“  It ’s  your  own  fault,”  said  Priscilla. 

Patty  groaned.  “  I  was  just  waiting  to 
hear  you  say  that !  You  always  do.” 

“  It  ’s  always  true.  Where  are  you 
going?”  as  Patty  started  for  the  door. 

“  I  am  going,”  said  Patty,  “  to  ask  Mrs. 
Richards  to  give  me  a  new  room-mate : 
one  who  will  understand  and  appreciate 
me,  and  sympathize  with  my  afflictions.” 

Patty  walked  gloomily  down  the  corridor, 
lost  in  meditation.  Her  way  led  past  the 
door  of  the  doctors  office,  which  was  stand¬ 
ing  invitingly  open.  Three  or  four  girls 
were  sitting  around  the  room,  laughing 
and  talking  and  waiting  their  turns. 
Patty  glanced  in,  and  a  radiant  smile  sud¬ 
denly  lightened  her  face,  but  it  was  instantly 
replaced  by  a  look  of  settled  sadness.  She 
walked  in  and  dropped  into  an  arm-chair 
with  a  sigh. 

“  What ’s  the  matter,  Patty  ?  You  look 
as  if  you  had  melancholia.” 

Patty  smiled  apathetically.  “Not  quite 
so  bad  as  that,”  she  murmured,  and  leaned 
back  and  closed  her  eyes. 

109 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


“  Next,”  said  the  doctor  from  the  door- 
‘Way ;  but  as  she  caught  sight  of  Patty  she 
walked  over  and  shook  her  arm.  “  Is  this 
Patty  Wyatt?  What  is  the  matter  with 
you,  child  ?  ” 

Patty  opened  her  eyes  with  a  start. 
“Nothing,”  she  said;  “I’m  just  a  little 
tired.” 

“  Come  in  here  with  me.” 

“It  ’s  not  my  turn,”  objected  Patty. 

“That  makes  no  difference,”  returned 
the  doctor. 

Patty  dropped  limply  into  the  consulting- 
chair. 

“Let  me  see  your  tongue.  Um-m  — 
is  n’t  coated  very  much.  Your  pulse 
seems  regular,  though  possibly  a  trifle 
feverish.  Have  you  been  working  hard  ?  ” 

“  I  don’t  think  I  ’ve  been  working  any 
harder  than  usual,”  said  Patty,  truthfully. 

“  Sitting  up  late  nights  ?  ” 

Patty  considered.  “  I  was  up  rather 
late  twice  last  week,”  she  confessed. 

“  If  you  girls  persist  in  studying  until 


i  io 


In  Pursuit  ot  Old  English 

all  hours  of  the  night,  I  don’t  know  what 
we  doctors  can  do.” 

Patty  did  not  think  it  necessary  to  ex¬ 
plain  that  it  was  a  Welsh-rabbit  party  on 
each  occasion,  so  she  merely  sighed  and 
looked  out  of  the  window. 

“  Is  your  appetite  good  ?  ” 

“  Yes,”  said  Patty,  in  a  tone  which  belied 
the  words  ;  “  it  seems  to  be  very  good.” 

“  Um-m,”  said  the  doctor. 

“  I  ’mjust  a  little  tired,”  pursued  Patty, 
“but  I  think  I  shall  be  all  right  as  soon  as 
I  get  a  chance  to  rest.  Perhaps  I  need  a 
tonic,”  she  suggested. 

“  You ’d  better  stay  out  of  classes  for  a 
day  or  two  and  get  thoroughly  rested.” 

“Oh,  no,”  said  Patty,  in  evident  per¬ 
turbation.  “  Our  room  is  so  full  of  girls 
all  the  time  that  it  ’s  really  more  rest¬ 
ful  to  go  to  classes ;  and,  besides,  I  can’t 
stay  out  just  now.” 

“  Why  not  ?  ”  demanded  the  doctor, 
suspiciously. 

“Well,”  said  Patty,  a  trifle  reluctantly, 


1 1 1 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  I  have  a  good  deal  to  do.  I  Ve  got  to 
cram  for  an  examination,  and  — ” 

The  word  “  cram”  was  to  the  doctor  as 
a  red  rag  to  a  bull.  “Nonsense!”  she 
ejaculated.  “  I  know  what  I  shall  do  with 
you.  You  are  going  right  over  to  the 
infirmary  for  a  few  days — ” 

“  Oh,  doctor  !  ”  Patty  pleaded,  with  tears 
in  her  eyes,  “  there  ’s  truly  nothing  the 
matter  with  me,  and  I  Ve  got  to  take  that 
examination.” 

“  What  examination  is  it?  ” 

“  Old  English  — Miss  Skelling.” 

“  I  will  see  Miss  Skelling  myself,”  said 
the  doctor,  “and  explain  that  you  cannot 
take  the  examination  until  you  come  out. 
And  now,”  she  added,  making  a  note  of 
Patty’s  case,  “  I  will  have  you  put  in  the 
convalescent  ward,  and  we  will  try  the  rest 
cure  for  a  few  days,  and  feed  you  up  on 
chicken-broth  and  egg-nog,  and  see  if  we 
can  get  that  appetite  back.” 

“Thank  you,”  said  Patty,  with  the  re¬ 
signed  air  of  one  who  has  given  up 
struggling  against  the  inevitable. 


1 12 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 

“  I  like  to  see  you  take  an  interest  in 
your  work,”  added  the  doctor,  kindly; 
“but  you  must  always  remember,  my 
dear,  that  health  is  the  first  consideration.” 

Patty  returned  to  the  study  and  executed 
an  impromptu  dance  in  the  middle  of  the 
floor. 

“  What ’s  the  matter?  ”  exclaimed  Pris¬ 
cilla.  “Are  you  crazy?” 

“  No,”  said  Patty  ;  “only  ill.”  And  she 
went  into  her  bedroom  and  began  slinging 
things  into  a  dress-suit  case. 

Priscilla  stood  in  the  doorway  and 
watched  her  in  amazement.  “  Are  you 
going  to  New  York  ?  ”  she  asked. 

“  No,”  said  Patty  ;  “  to  the  infirmary.” 

“  Patty  Wyatt,  you  ’re  a  wretched  little 
hypocrite  !  ” 

“  Not  at  all,”  said  Patty,  cheerfully.  “I 
did  n’t  ask  to  go,  but  the  doctor  simply  in¬ 
sisted.  I  told  her  I  had  an  examination, 
but  she  said  it  did  n’t  make  any  difference; 
health  must  be  the  first  consideration.” 

“What  ’s  in  that  bottle?”  demanded 
Priscilla. 

ii3 


8 


When  Patty  Went  College 

“  That  ’s  for  my  appetite,”  said  Patty, 
with  a  grin  ;  “  the  doctor  hopes  to  improve 
it.  I  did  n’t  like  to  discourage  her,  but  I 
don’t  much  believe  she  can.”  She  dropped 
an  Old  English  grammar  and  a  copy  of 
“  Beowulf”  into  her  suit-case. 

‘‘They  won’t  let  you  study,”  said  Pris¬ 
cilla. 

“  I  shall  not  ask  them,”  said  Patty. 
“  Good-by.  Tell  the  girls  to  drop  in  occa¬ 
sionally  and  see  me  in  my  incarceration. 
Visiting  hour  from  five  to  six.”  She  stuck 
her  head  in  again.  “  If  any  one  wants  to 
send  violets,  I  think  they  might  cheer  me 
up. 

The  next  afternoon  Georgie  and  Pris¬ 
cilla  presented  themselves  at  the  infirmary, 
and  were  met  at  the  door  by  the  austere 
figure  of  the  head  nurse.  “  I  will  see  if 
Miss  Wyatt  is  awake,”  she  said  dubiously, 
“  but  I  am  afraid  you  will  excite  her  ;  she ’s 
to  be  kept  very  quiet.” 

“Oh,  no;  we’ll  do  her  good,”  remon¬ 
strated  Georgie  ;  and  the  two  girls  tiptoed 
in  after  the  nurse. 


114 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 

The  convalescent  ward  was  a  large, 
airy  room,  furnished  in  green  and  white, 
with  four  or  five  beds,  each  surrounded 
with  brass  poles  and  curtains.  Patty  was 
lying  in  one  of  the  corner  beds  near  a 
window,  propped  up  on  pillows,  with  her 
hair  tumbled  about  her  face,  and  a  table 
beside  her  covered  with  flowers  and  glasses 
of  medicine.  This  elaborate  parapher¬ 
nalia  of  sickness  created  a  momentary 
illusion  in  the  minds  of  the  visitors.  Pris¬ 
cilla  ran  to  the  bedside  and  dropped  on  her 
knees  beside  her  invalid  room-mate. 

“Patty  dear,”  she  said  anxiously,  “how 
do  you  feel  ?  ” 

A  seraphic  smile  spread  over  Patty’s 
face.  “  I  've  been  able  to  take  a  little  ■' 
nourishment  to-day,”  she  said. 

“Patty,  you  ’re  a  scandalous  humbug! 
Who  gave  you  those  violets  ?  ‘  With  love, 
from  Lady  Clara  Vere  de  Vere’ — that 
blessed  freshman  !  —  and  you  Ve  borrowed 
every  drop  of  alcohol  the  poor  child  ever 
thought  of  owning.  And  whom  are  those 
roses  from?  Miss  Skelling !  Patty,  you 
ought  to  be  ashamed.” 

i  15 


When  Patty  Went  :o  College 

Patty  had  the  grace  to  blush  slightly. 
“  I  was  a  trifle  embarrassed,”  she  admitted ; 
“  but  when  I  reflected  upon  how  sorry  she 
would  have  been  to  find  out  how  little  I 
knew,  and  how  glad  she  will  be  to  find  out 
how  much  I  know,  my  conscience  was 
appeased.” 

“Have  you  been  studying?”  asked 
Georgie. 

“  Studying  !  ”  Patty  lifted  up  the  cor¬ 
ner  of  her  pillow  and  exhibited  a  blue 
book.  “Two  days  more  of  this,  and  I 
shall  be  the  chief  authority  in  America  on 
Anglo-Saxon  roots.” 

“  How  do  you  manage  it  ?  ” 

“Oh,”  said  Patty,  “when  the  rest-hour 
begins  I  lie  down  and  shut  my  eyes,  and 
they  tiptoe  over  and  look  at  me,  and  whis¬ 
per,  ‘  She  ’s  asleep,’  and  softly  draw  the 
curtains  around  the  bed  ;  and  I  get  out  the 
book  and  put  in  two  solid  hours  of  irregu¬ 
lar  verbs,  and  am  still  sleeping  when  they 
come  to  look  at  me.  They  ’re  perfectly 
astonished  at  the  amount  I  sleep.  I  heard 
the  nurse  telling  the  doctor  that  she  did  n’t 

1 16 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 

believe  I  ’d  had  any  sleep  for  a  month. 
And  the  worst  of  it  is,”  she  added,  “  that  I 
am  tired,  whether  you  believe  it  or  not,  and 
I  should  just  love  to  stay  over  here  and 
sleep  all  day  if  I  were  n’t  so  beastly  con¬ 
scientious  about  that  old  grammar.” 

“  Poor  Patty  !  ”  laughed  Georgie.  “  She 
will  be  imposing  on  herself  next,  as  well 
as  on  the  whole  college.” 

Friday  morning  Patty  returned  to  the 
world. 

“How’s  OldEnglish?”  inquired  Priscilla. 

“Very  well,  thank  you.  It  was  some¬ 
thing  of  a  cram,  but  I  think  I  know  that 
grammar  by  heart,  from  the  preface  to  the 
index.” 

“You  ’re  back  in  all  your  other  work. 
Do  you  think  it  paid  ?  ” 

“That  remains  to  be  seen,”  laughed 
Patty. 

She  knocked  on  Miss  Skelling’s  door, 
and,  after  the  first  polite  greetings,  stated 
her  errand:  “  I  should  like,  if  it  is  con¬ 
venient  for  you,  to  take  the  examination  I 
missed.” 


ii  7 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Do  you  feel  able  to  take  it  to-day  ?  ” 

“  I  feel  much  better  able  to  take  it  to¬ 
day  than  I  did  on  Tuesday.’' 

Miss  Skelling  smiled  kindly.  “You 
have  done  very  good  work  in  Old  Eng¬ 
lish  this  semester,  Miss  Wyatt,  and  I 
should  not  ask  you  to  take  the  examination 
at  all  if  I  thought  it  would  be  fair  to  the 
rest  of  the  class.” 

“  Fair  to  the  rest  of  the  class  ?  ”  Patty 
looked  a  trifle  blank ;  she  had  not  consid¬ 
ered  this  aspect  of  the  question,  and  a 
slow  red  flush  crept  over  her  face.  She 
hesitated  a  moment,  and  rose  uncertainly. 
“When  it  comes  to  that.  Miss  Skelling,” 
she  confessed,  “  I  ’m  afraid  it  would  n’t  be 
quite  fair  to  the  rest  of  the  class  for  me  to 
take  it.” 

Miss  Skelling  did  not  understand. 
“  But,  Miss  Wyatt,”  she  expostulated  in 
a  puzzled  tone,  “  it  was  not  difficult.  I 
am  sure  you  could  pass.” 

Patty  smiled.  “  I  am  sure  I  could,  Miss 
Skelling.  I  don’t  believe  you  could  ask 
me  a  question  that  I  could  n’t  answer. 
But  the  point  is  that  it  ’s  all  learned  since 

1 18 


In  Pursuit  of  Old  English 

Tuesday.  The  doctor  was  laboring-  under 
a  little  delusion  —  very  natural  under  the 
circumstances  —  when  she  sent  me  to  the 
infirmary,  and  I  spent  my  time  there 
studying.” 

“  But,  Miss  Wyatt,  this  is  very  unusual. 
I  shall  not  know  how  to  mark  you,”  Miss 
Skelling  murmured  in  some  distress. 

“  Oh,  mark  me  zero,”  said  Patty,  cheer¬ 
fully.  “It  does  n’t  matter  in  the  least  — 
I  know  such  a  lot  that  I  ’ll  get  through  on 
the  finals.  Good-by;  I  ’m  sorry  to  have 
troubled  you.”  And  she  closed  the  door 
and  turned  thoughtfully  homeward. 

“  Did  it  pay?  ”  asked  Priscilla. 

Patty  laughed  and  murmured  softly: 

“‘The  King  of  France  rode  up  the  hill  with 
full  ten  thousand  men ; 

The  King  of  France  did  gain  the  top,  and 
then  rode  down  again/  ” 

“  What  are  you  talking  about  ?  ”  de¬ 
manded  Priscilla. 

“  Old  English,”  said  Patty,  as  she  sat 

down  at  her  desk  and  commenced  on  the 

three  davs’  work  she  had  missed. 

* 

1 19 


VIII 


The  Deceased  Robert 


The  Deceased  Robert 


matter  of  scaring  people  to  a  fine  art,”  she 
said.  “  I  was  never  more  frightened  in 
my  life.  I  thought  that  the  least  that  had 
happened  was  an  earthquake  which  had 
engulfed  the  entire  family.” 

“What  was  the  matter?”  Georgie  and 
Priscilla  asked  in  a  breath. 

Patty  spread  out  a  crumpled  telegram 
on  her  knee,  and  the  girls  read  it  over 
her  shoulder : 

Robert  died  of  an  overdose  of  chloroform  at 
ten  this  morning.  Funeral  to-morrow. 

Thomas  M.  Wyatt. 

“  Thomas  M.  Wyatt,”  said  Patty,  grimly, 
“  is  my  small  brother  Tommy,  and  Robert 
is  short  for  Bobby  Shafto,  which  was  the 
name  of  Tommy’s  bull  pup,  the  homeliest 
and  worst-tempered  dog  that  was  ever 
received  into  the  bosom  of  a  respectable 
family.” 

“  But  why  in  the  world  did  he  tele¬ 
graph  ?  ” 

“  It ’s  a  joke,”  said  Patty,  shaking  her 
head  dejectedly.  “Joking  runs  in  the 

I25 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

family,  and  we  ’ve  all  inherited  the  ten¬ 
dency.  One  time  my  father  —  but,  as 
my  friend  Kipling  says,  that  ’s  another 
story.  This  dog,  you  see  —  this  Robert 
Shafto  —  has  cast  a  shadow  over  my  va¬ 
cations  for  more  than  a  year.  He  killed 
my  kitten,  and  ate  my  Venetian  lace  col¬ 
lar —  it  did  n’t  even  give  him  indigestion. 
He  went  out  and  wallowed  in  the  rain  and 
mud  and  came  in  and  slept  on  my  bed. 
He  stole  the  beefsteak  for  breakfast  and 
the  rubbers  and  door-mats  for  blocks 
around.  Property  on  the  street  appre¬ 
ciably  declined,  for  prospective  purchasers 
refused  to  purchase  so  long  as  Tommy 
Wyatt  kept  a  dog.  Robert  was  threatened 
with  death  time  and  again,  but  Tommy 
always  managed  to  conceal  him  from  im¬ 
pending  justice  until  the  trouble  had  blown 
over.  But  this  time  I  suppose  he  com¬ 
mitted  some  supreme  enormity — probably 
chewed  up  the  baby  or  one  of  my  father’s 
Persian  rugs,  or  something  like  that.  And 
Tommy,  knowing  how  I  detested  the  beast, 
evidently  thought  it  would  be  a  good  joke 

1 26 


The  Deceased  Robert 


to  telegraph,  though  wherein  lies  the 
point  I  can’t  make  out.” 

“  Ah,  I  see,”  said  Georgie ;  “and  Mrs. 
Richards  thought  that  Robert  was  a  rela¬ 
tion.  What  did  she  say  ?  ” 

“  She  said,  ‘  Come  in,  Patty  dear,’  when 
I  knocked  on  the  door.  Usually  when  I 
have  had  the  honor  of  being  received  by 
her  she  has  somewhat  frigidly  called  me 
‘Miss  Wyatt.’  I  opened  the  door  with 
my  knees  shaking  when  I  heard  that 
‘Patty  dear,’  and  she  took  my  hand  and 
said,  ‘  I  am  sorry  to  have  to  tell  you  that  I 
have  heard  bad  news  from  your  brother.’ 

“  ‘  Tommy  ?  ’  I  gasped. 

“‘No;  Robert.’ 

“  I  was  dazed.  I  racked  my  brains,  but 
I  could  n’t  remember  any  brother  Robert. 

“  ‘  He  is  very  ill,’  she  went  on.  ‘Yes, 
I  must  tell  you  the  truth,  Patty  ;  poor  little 
Robert  passed  away  this  morning’;  and 
she  laid  the  telegram  before  me.  Then, 
when  it  flashed  over  me  what  it  meant,  I 
was  so  relieved  that  I  put  my  head  down 
on  her  desk  and  simply  laughed  till  I  cried; 

127 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

and  she  thought  I  was  crying  all  the  time, 
and  kept  patting  my  head  and  quoting 
Psalms.  Well,  then  I  did  n’t  dare  to  tell 
her,  after  she  had  expended  all  that  sym¬ 
pathy;  so  as  soon  as  I  could  stop  laughing 
(which  was  n’t  very  soon,  for  I  had  got 
considerable  momentum)  I  raised  my  head 
and  told  her  — trying  to  be  truthful  and  at 
the  same  time  not  hurt  her  feelings  —  that 
Robert  was  not  a  brother,  but  just  a  sort 
of  friend.  And,  do  you  know,  she  imme¬ 
diately  jumped  to  the  conclusion  that  he 
was  a  fiance,  and  began  stroking  my  hair 
and  murmuring  that  it  was  sometimes 
harder  to  lose  friends  than  relatives,  but 
that  I  was  still  young,  and  I  must  not  let 
it  blast  my  life,  and  that  maybe  in  the  fu¬ 
ture  when  time  had  dulled  the  pain — and 
then,  remembering  that  it  would  n’t  do  to 
advise  me  to  adopt  a  second  fiance  before 
I  had  buried  my  first,  she  stopped  sud¬ 
denly  and  asked  if  I  wished  to  go  home 
to  the  funeral. 

“  I  told  her  no,  that  I  did  n’t  think  it 
would  be  best ;  and  she  said  perhaps  not 

1 28 


The  Deceased  Robert 

if  it  had  n’t  been  announced,  and  she 
kissed  me  and  told  me  she  was  glad  to  see 
me  bearing  up  so  bravely.” 

“  Patty  !  ”  Priscilla  exclaimed  in  horror, 
“it’s  dreadful.  How  could  you  let  her 
think  it  ?  ” 

“  How  could  I  help  it  ?  ”  Patty  de¬ 
manded  indignantly.  “What  with  being 
frightened  into  hysterics  first,  and  then 
having  a  strange  fiance  thrust  at  me  with¬ 
out  a  moment’s  notice,  I  think  that  I  car¬ 
ried  off  the  situation  with  rare  delicacy 
and  finesse.  Do  you  think  it  would  have 
been  tactful  to  tell  her,  it  was  nothing  but 
a  bull  pup  she  was  quoting  Scripture 
about  ? ” 

“  I  don’t  see  how  it  was  exactly  your 
fault,”  Georgie  acknowledged. 

“  Thank  you,”  said  Patty.  “  If  you  had 
a  brother  like  Tommy  Wyatt  you  would 
know  how  to  sympathize  with  me.  I 
suppose  I  ought  to  be  grateful  to  know 
that  the  dog  is  dead,  but  I  should  like  to 
have  had  the  news  broken  a  little  less 
gently.” 

1 29 


9 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Patty,”  exclaimed  Priscilla,  as  a  sud¬ 
den  thought  struck  her,  “do  you  hap¬ 
pen  to  remember  that  you  are  on  the 
reception  committee  of  the  Dramatic  Club 
cotillion  to-morrow  night  ?  What  will 
Mrs.  Richards  think  when  she  sees  you 
in  evening  dress,  receiving  at  a  party, 
on  the  very  day  your  fiance  has  been 
buried  ?  ” 

“I  wonder?”  said  Patty,  doubtfully. 
“  Do  you  really  think  I  ought  to  stay 
away?  After  working  like  a  little  buzz- 
saw  making  tissue-paper  favors  for  the 
thing,  I  hate  to  have  to  miss  it  just  be¬ 
cause  my  brother’s  bull  pup,  that  I  never 
even  liked ,  is  dead. 

“  I  ’ll  go,”  she  added,  brightening,  “and 
receive  the  guests  with  a  forced  and  me¬ 
chanical  smile ;  and  every  time  I  feel  the 
warden’s  eyes  upon  me  I  shall  with  diffi¬ 
culty  choke  back  the  tears,  and  she  will 
say  to  herself : 

“  ‘  Brave  girl  !  How  nobly  she  is  strug¬ 
gling  to  present  a  composed  face  to  the 

130 


The  Deceased  Robert 


world!  None  would  dream,  to  look  at 
that  seemingly  radiant  creature,  that,  while 
she  is  outwardly  so  gay,  she  is  in  reality 
concealing  a  great  sorrow  which  is  gnaw¬ 
ing  at  her  very  vitals.’  ” 


IX 

Patty  the  Comforter 


IX 


Patty  the  Comforter 


T  was  on  the  eve  of  the  mid¬ 
year  examinations,  and  a 
gloom  had  fallen  over  the  col¬ 
lege.  The  conscientious  ones 


who  had  worked  all  the  year  were  work¬ 
ing  harder  than  ever,  and  the  frivolous 
ones  who  had  played  all  the  year  were 
working  with  a  desperate  frenzy  calculated 
to  render  their  minds  a  blank  when  the 
crucial  hour  should  have  arrived.  But 
Patty  was  not  working.  It  was  a  canon 
of  her  college  philosophy,  gained  by  three 
and  a  half  years’  of  personal  experience, 
that  the  day  before  examinations  is  not  the 
time  to  begin  to  study.  One  has  im¬ 
pressed  the  instructor  with  one’s  intelli¬ 
gent  interest  in  the  subject,  or  one  has 
not,  and  the  result  is  as  sure  as  if  the 
marks  were  already  down  in  black  and 

135 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

white  in  the  college  archives.  And  so 
Patty,  who  at  least  lived  up  to  her  lights, 
was,  with  the  exception  of  a  few  points 
which  she  intended  to  learn  for  this  period 
only,  conscientiously  neglecting  the  “ju¬ 
dicious  review  ”  recommended  by  the 
faculty. 

Her  friends,  however,  who,  though  per¬ 
haps  equally  philosophic,  were  less  consis¬ 
tent,  were  subjecting  themselves  to  what 
was  known  as  a  “  regular  freshman  cram”; 
and  as  no  one  had  any  time  to  talk  to 
Patty,  or  to  make  anything  to  eat,  she 
found  it  an  unprofitable  period.  Her  own 
room-mate  even  drove  her  from  the  study 
because  she  laughed  out  loud  over  the 
book  she  was  reading ;  and,  an  exile,  she 
wandered  around  to  the  studies  of  her 
friends,  and  was  confronted  by  an  “  en¬ 
gaged  ”  on  every  door.  She  was  sitting 
on  a  window-sill  in  the  corridor,  pondering 
on  the  general  barrenness  of  things,  when 
she  suddenly  remembered  her  friends  the 
freshmen  in  study  321.  She  had  not 
visited  them  for  some  time,  and  freshmen 

1 36 


Patty  the  Comforter 

are  usually  interesting  at  this  period.  She 
accordingly  turned  down  the  corridor  that 
led  to  321,  and  found  a  “positively  en¬ 
gaged  to  every  one  ! !  ”  in  letters  three 
inches  high,  across  the  door.  This  prom¬ 
ised  a  richness  of  entertainment  within, 
and  Patty  heaved  a  disappointed  sigh  loud 
enough  to  carry  through  the  transom. 

The  turning  of  leaves  and  rustling  of 
paper  ceased;  evidently  they  were  listen¬ 
ing,  but  they  gave  no  sign.  Patty  wrote 
a  note  on  the  door-block  with  reverberat¬ 
ing  punctuation-points,  and  then  retired 
noisily,  and  tiptoed  back  a  moment  later, 
and  leaned  against  the  wall.  Curiosity 
prevailed ;  the  door  opened,  and  a  face 
wearing  a  hunted  look  peered  out. 

“  Oh,  Patty  Wyatt,  was  that  you  ?  ”  she 
asked.  “We  thought  it  was  Frances 
Stoddard  coming  down  to  have  geometry 
explained,  and  so  we  kept  still.  Come  in.” 

“Goodness,  no;  I  would  n’t  come  in 
over  an  ‘  engaged  ’  like  that  for  anything. 
I  ’m  afraid  you  ’re  busy.” 

The  freshman  grasped  her  by  the  arm. 

137 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Patty,  if  you  love  us  come  in  and  cheer 
us  up.  We  ’re  so  scared  we  don’t  know 
what  to  do.” 

Patty  consented  to  be  drawn  across  the 
threshold.  “  I  don’t  want  to  interrupt 
you,”  she  remonstrated,  “  if  you  have  any¬ 
thing  to  do.”  The  study  was  occupied  by 
three  girls.  Patty  smiled  benignly  at  the 
two  haggard  faces  before  her.  “  Where ’s 
Lady  Clara  Vere  de  Vere?”  she  asked. 
“  She  surely  is  n’t  wasting  these  precious 
last  moments  in  anything  frivolous.” 

“  She ’s  in  her  bedroom,  with  a  geome¬ 
try  in  one  hand  and  a  Greek  grammar  in 
the  other,  trying  to  learn  them  both  at 
once.” 

“Tell  her  to  come  out  here;  I  want  to 
give  her  some  good  advice  and  Patty  sat 
down  on  the  divan  and  surveyed  the  dic¬ 
tionary-bestrewn  room  with  an  apprecia¬ 
tive  smile. 

“  Oh,  Patty,  I  ’m  so  glad  to  see  you !  ” 
Lady  Clara  exclaimed,  appearing  in  the 
doorway.  “The  sophomores  have  been 
telling  us  the  most  dreadful  stories  about 

138 


Patty  the  Comforter 

examinations.  They  are  n’t  true,  are 
they?” 

“  Mercy,  no !  Don’t  believe  a  word 
those  sophomores  tell  you.  They  were 
freshmen  themselves  last  year,  and  if  the 
examinations  were  as  bad  as  they  say, 
they  would  n’t  have  passed  them,  either.” 

A  relieved  expression  stole  over  the 
three  faces. 

“You  ’re  such  a  comfort,  Patty. 
Upper-classmen  take  things  easily,  don’t 
they  ?  ” 

“  One  gets  inured  to  almost  anything 
in  time,”  said  Patty.  “  Examinations  are 
even  entertaining,  if  you  know  the  right 
answers.” 

“  But  we  won’t  know  the  right  answers!” 
one  of  the  freshmen  wailed,  her  terror  re¬ 
turning.  “  We  simply  don’t  know  any¬ 
thing ,  and  Latin  comes  to-morrow,  and 
geometry  the  next  day.” 

“  Oh,  well,  in  that  case  you  can’t  get 
through  anyway,  so  don’t  worry.  You 
must  take  it  philosophically,  you  know.” 
Patty  settled  herself  among  the  cushions 

139 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

and  smiled  upon  her  frightened  auditors 
with  easy  nonchalance.  “  As  an  example 
of  the  uselessness  of  studying  at  the 
eleventh  hour  when  you  have  n’t  done 
anything  through  the  term,  I  will  tell  you 
my  experience  with  freshman  Greek.  I 
was  badly  prepared  when  I  came,  I  did  n’t 
study  through  the  term,  and,  without  ex¬ 
aggeration,  I  did  n’t  know  anything. 
Three  days  before  examinations  I  sud¬ 
denly  comprehended  the  situation,  and  I 
began  swallowing  that  grammar  in  chunks. 
I  drank  black  coffee  to  keep  awake,  and 
worked  till  two  in  the  morning,  and 
scarcely  stopped  cramming  irregular  verbs 
for  meals.  I  simply  thought  in  Greek 
and  dreamed  in  Greek.  And,  if  you  will 
believe  it,  after  all  that  work  I  flunked  in 
Greek!  It  shook  my  faith  in  studying  for 
examinations.  I  ’ve  never  done  it  since, 
and  I  ’ve  never  flunked  since.  I  believe 
that  it  ’s  just  a  matter  of  fate  whether  you 
get  through  or  not,  so  I  never  bother  any 
more.” 

The  freshmen  looked  at  one  another  dis- 


Patty  the  Comforter 

consolately.  If  it  s  all  decided  before- 
hand,  we  ’re  lost.” 

Patty  smiled  reassuringly. 

“  A  little  flunking  now  and  then 
Will  happen  to  the  best  of  men.” 

“  But  I ’ve  heard  they  send  people  home, 
drop  them,  you  know,  if  they  flunk  more 
than  a  certain  amount.  Is  that  so  ?  Lady 
Clara  inquired  in  hushed  tones. 

"  Oh,  yes,”  said  Patty  ;  “  they  have  to. 

I ’ve  known  some  of  the  brightest  girls  in 

college  to  be  dropped.” 

Lady  Clara  groaned.  “  I  ’m  awfully 
shaky  in  geometry,  Patty.  Do  they  flunk 

many  girls  in  that  ?  ’ 

“Many!”  said  Patty.  “The  mere 

clerical  labor  of  writing  out  the  notes 
occupies  the  department  two  days. 

“  Is  the  examination  terribly  hard? 

“  I  don’t  remember  much  about  it.  It ’s 
been  such  a  long  time  since  I  was  a  fresh¬ 
man,  you  see.  They  picked  out  the  hard¬ 
est  theorems,  I  know  —  things  you  could 
n’t  even  draw,  let  alone  demonstrate :  the 

141 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

pyramid  that ’s  cut  in  slices,  for  one, —  I 
don’t  remember  its  name, —  and  that 
sprawling  one  that  looks  like  a  snail 
crawling  out  of  its  shell :  the  devil’s 
coffin,  I  believe  it  ’s  called  technically. 
And  —  oh,  yes!  they  give  you  origi¬ 
nals  — frightfril  originals,  like  nothing 
you ’ve  ever  had  before ;  and  they  put  a 
little  note  at  the  top  of  the  page  telling 
you  to  do  them  first,  and  you  get  so  mud¬ 
dled  trying  to  think  fast  that  you  can’t 
think  at  all.  I  know  a  girl  who  spent  all 
the  two  hours  trying  to  think  out  an 
original,  and  just  as  she  got  ready  to  write 
it  down  the  bell  rang  and  she  had  to  hand 
in  her  paper.” 

“  And  what  happened  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  she  flunked.  You  could  n’t  really 
blame  the  instructor,  you  know,  for  not 
reading  between  the  lines,  for  there  were  n’t 
any  lines  to  read  between  ;  but  it  was  sort 
of  a  pity,  for  the  girl  really  knew  an  awful 
lot  —  but  she  couldn’t  express  it.” 

“  That  ’s  just  like  me.” 

“  Ah,  it ’s  like  a  good  many  people.”  A 

142 


Patty  the  Comforter 

silence  ensued,  and  the  freshmen  looked  at 
one  another  dejectedly.  “  But  you  can 
live,  even  if  you  should  flunk  math,”  Patty 
continued  reassuringly.  “  Other  people 
have  done  it  before  you.” 

“  If  it  were  only  geometry — but  we  're 
scared  over  Latin.” 

“  Oh,  Latin  !  There  ’s  no  use  studying 
for  that,  for  you  can’t  possibly  read  it  all 
over,  and  if  you  just  pick  out  a  part,  it 's 
sure  not  to  be  the  same  part  they  pick 
out.  The  best  way  is  to  say  incantations 
over  the  book,  and  open  it  with  your  eyes 
blindfolded,  and  study  the  page  it  opens 
to  ;  then,  in  case  you  don’t  pass, — and  you 
probably  won’t, — you  can  throw  the  blame 
on  fate.  My  freshman  year,  if  I  remem¬ 
ber  right,  they  gave  us  for  prose  composi¬ 
tion  one  of  Emerson’s  essays  to  translate 
into  Latin,  and  we  could  n’t  even  tell  what 
it  meant  in  English.” 

The  three  looked  at  one  another  again. 

“  I  could  n’t  do  anything  like  that.” 

“Nor  I.” 


“  Nor  I.” 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Nor  any  one  else,”  said  Patty. 

“  We  can  flunk  Latin  and  math  ;  but  if 
we  flunk  any  more  we  ’re  gone.” 

“  I  believe  so,”  said  Patty. 

“  And  I  ’m  awfully  shaky  in  German.” 

“  And  I  in  French.” 

“And  I  in  Greek.” 

“  I  don’t  know  anything  about  Ger¬ 
man,”  said  Patty.  “  Never  had  it  myself. 
But  I  remember  hearing  Priscilla  say  that 
the  printed  examination  papers  did  n’t 
come  but  in  time,  and  Fraulein  Scherin, 
who  writes  a  frightful  hand,  wrote  the 
questions  on  the  board  in  German  script, 
and  they  could  n’t  even  read  them.  In 
French  I  believe  the  first  question  was  to 
write  out  the  ‘  Marseillaise  ’  ;  there  are 
seven  verses,  and  no  one  had  learned 
them,  and  the  ‘  Marseillaise,’  you  know, 
is  a  thing  that  you  simply  can  t  make  up 
on  the  spur  of  the  moment.  As  for 
Greek,  I  told  you  my  own  experience; 
I  am  sure  nothing  could  be  worse  than 
that.” 

The  freshmen  looked  at  one  another 

144 


Patty  the  Comforter 

hopelessly.  “  There  ’s  only  English  and 
hygiene  and  Bible  history  left.” 

“  English  is  something  you  can’t  tell 
anything  about,”  said  Patty.  “They  ’re 
as  likely  as  not  to  ask  you  to  write  a  heroic 
poem  in  iambic  pentameters,  if  you  know 
what  they  are.  You  have  to  depend  on 
inspiration  ;  you  can’t  study  for  it.” 

“  I  hope,”  sighed  Lady  Clara,  “  to  get 
through  hygiene  and  Bible  history, 
though,  as  they  only  count  one  hour 
apiece,  I  suppose  it  is  n’t  much.” 

“You  must  n’t  be  too  sanguine,”  said 
Patty.  “  It  all  depends  on  chance.  The 
class  in  hygiene  is  so  big  that  the  profes¬ 
sor  has  n’t  time  to  read  the  papers ;  he 
just  goes  down  the  list  and  flunks  every 
thirteenth  girl.  I  ’m  not  sure  about  Bible 
history,  but  I  think  he  does  the  same,  be¬ 
cause  I  know,  freshman  year,  that  I  made 
a  mistake  and  handed  in  my  map  of  the 
Holy  Lands  done  in  colored  chalk  to  the 
hygiene  professor,  and  my  chart  of  the  di¬ 
gestive  system  to  the  Bible  professor,  and 
neither  of  them  noticed  it.  They  did  look 

145 


10 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

a  good  deal  alike,  but  not  so  much  but 
what  you  could  tell  them  apart.  All  I 
have  to  say  is  that  I  hope  none  of  you 
will  be  number  thirteen.” 

The  freshmen  stared  at  one  another  in 
speechless  horror,  and  Patty  rose.  “Well, 
good-by,  my  children,  and,  above  all 
things,  don’t  worry.  I  ’m  glad  if  I  ’ve 
been  able  to  cheer  you  up  a  little,  for  so 
much  depends  on  not  being  nervous. 
Don’t  believe  any  of  the  silly  stories  the 
sophomores  tell,”  she  called  back  over  her 
shoulder  ;  “  they  ’re  just  trying  to  frighten 


146 


“Per  I’ Italia” 


X 


“Per  1’ Italia” 

OLLEGE  is  a  more  or  less 
selfish  place.  Everybody  is 
so  busy  with  her  own  affairs 
that  she  has  no  time  to  give 

to  her  neighbor,  unless  her  neighbor  has 
something  to  give  in  return.  Olivia  Cope¬ 
land  apparently  had  nothing  to  give  in 
return.  She  was  quiet  and  inconspicuous, 
and  it  took  a  second  glance  to  realize  that 
her  face  was  striking  and  that  there  was  a 
look  in  her  eyes  that  other  freshmen  did 
not  have.  By  an  unfelicitous  chance  she 
was  placed  in  the  same  study  with  Lady 
Clara  Vere  de  Vere  and  Emily  Wash¬ 
burn.  They  thought  her  foreign  and 
queer,  and  she  thought  them  crude  and 
boisterous,  and  after  the  first  week  or  two 
of  politely  trying  to  get  acquainted  the 
effort  was  dropped  on  both  sides. 

149 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

The  year  wore  on,  and  nobody  knew, 
or  at  least  no  one  paid  any  attention  to 
the  fact,  that  Olivia  Copeland  was  home¬ 
sick  and  unhappy.  Her  room-mates 
thought  that  they  had  done  their  duty 
when  they  occasionally  asked  her  to  play 
golf  or  go  skating  with  them  (an  invitation 
they  were  very  safe  in  giving,  as  she  knew 
how  to  do  neither).  Her  instructors 
thought  that  they  had  done  their  duty 
when  they  called  her  up  to  the  desk  after 
class  and  warned  her  that  her  work  was 
not  as  good  as  it  had  been,  and  that  if  she 
wished  to  pass  she  must  improve  in  it. 

The  English  class  was  the  only  one  in 
which  she  was  not  warned ;  but  she  had 
no  means  of  knowing  that  her  themes 
were  handed  about  among  the  different 
instructors  and  that  she  was  referred  to  in 
the  department  as  “  that  remarkable  Miss 
Copeland.”  The  department  had  a  theory 
that  if  they  let  a  girl  know  she  was  doing 
good  work  she  would  immediately  stop 
and  rest  upon  her  reputation  ;  and  Olivia, 
in  consequence,  did  not  discover  that  she 

150 


“  Per  Pltalia  ” 


was  remarkable.  She  merely  discovered 
that  she  was  miserable  and  out  of  place, 
and  she  continued  to  drip  tears  of  home¬ 
sickness  before  a  sketch  of  an  Italian  villa 
that  hung  above  her  desk. 

It  was  Patty  Wyatt  who  first  discovered 
her.  Patty  had  dropped  into  the  fresh¬ 
men’s  room  one  afternoon  on  some  errand 
or  other  (probably  to  borrow  alcohol),  and 
had  idly  picked  up  a  pile  of  English  themes 
that  were  lying  on  the  study  table. 

“Whose  are  these?  Do  you  care  if  I 
look  at  them  ?  ”  she  ask'ed. 

“No;  you  can  read  them  if  you  want 
to,”  said  Lady  Clara.  “They  ’re  Olivia’s, 
but  she  won’t  mind.” 

Patty  carelessly  turned  the  pages,  and 
then,  as  a  title  caught  her  eye,  she  sud¬ 
denly  looked  up  with  a  show  of  interest. 
“  ‘  The  Coral-fishers  of  Capri  ’ !  What 
on  earth  does  Olivia  Copeland  know  about 
the  coral-fishers  of  Capri  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  she  lives  somewhere  near  there — 
at  Sorrento, ’’said  Lady  Clara,  indifferently. 

“  Olivia  Copeland  lives  at  Sorrento  !  ” 

15 1 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


Patty  stared.  “Why  did  n’t  you  tell 
me  r 

“  I  supposed  you  knew  it.  Her  father ’s 
an  artist  or  something  of  the  sort.  She ’s 
lived  in  Italy  all  her  life ;  that  ’s  what 
makes  her  so  queer.” 

Patty  had  once  spent  a  sunshiny  week 
in  Sorrento  herself,  and  the  very  memory  of 
it  was  intoxicating.  “  Where  is  she  ?  ”  she 
asked  excitedly.  “I  want  to  talk  to  her.” 

“  I  don’t  know  where  she  is.  Out  walk¬ 
ing,  probably.  She  goes  off  walking  all 
by  herself,  and  never  speaks  to  any  one, 
and  then  when  we  ask  her  to  do  some¬ 
thing  rational,  like  golf  or  basket-ball,  she 
pokes  in  the  house  and  reads  Dante  in 
Italian.  Imagine !  ” 

“Why,  she  must  be  interesting!”  said 
Patty,  in  surprise,  and  she  turned  back  to 
the  themes. 

“  I  think  these  are  splendid !  ”  she  ex¬ 
claimed. 

“  Sort  of  queer,  I  think,”  said  Lady 
Clara.  “  But  there  ’s  one  that  ’s  rather 
funny.  It  was  read  in  class  —  about  a 

I52 


“Per  l’ltalia” 


peasant  that  lost  his  donkey.  I  ’ll  find 
it”;  and  she  rummaged  through  the  pile. 

Patty  read  it  soberly,  and  Lady  Clara 
watched  her  with  a  shade  of  disappoint¬ 
ment. 

“Don’t  you  think  it  ’s  pretty  good?” 
she  asked. 

“Yes;  I  think  it  ’s  one  of  the  best 
things  I  ever  read.” 

“  You  never  even  smiled  !” 

“  My  dear  child,  it  is  n’t  funny.” 

“  Is  n’t  funny  !  Why,  the  class  simply 
roared  over  it.” 

Patty  shrugged.  “Your  appreciation 
must  have  gratified  Olivia.  And  here  it ’s 
February,  and  I  ’ve  barely  spoken  to  her.” 

The  next  afternoon  Patty  was  strolling 
home  from  a  recitation,  when  she  spied 
Olivia  Copeland  across  the  campus, 
headed  for  Pine  Bluff  and  evidently  out 
for  a  solitary  walk. 

“  Olivia  Copeland,  wait  a  moment,” 
Patty  called.  “  Are  you  going  for  a  walk  ? 
May  I  come  too  ?  ”  she  asked,  as  she 
panted  up  behind. 


*53 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Olivia  assented  with  evident  surprise, 
and  Patty  fell  into  step  beside  her.  “  I  just 
found  out  yesterday  that  you  live  in  Sor¬ 
rento,  and  I  wanted  to  talk  to  you.  I  was 
there  myself  once,  and  I  think  it  ’s  the 
most  glorious  spot  on  earth/’ 

Olivia’s  eyes  shone.  “Really?”  she 
gasped.  “Oh,  I ’m  so  glad  !  ”  And  before 
she  knew  it  she  was  telling  Patty  the  story 
of  how  she  had  come  to  college  to  please 
her  father,  and  how  she  loved  Italy  and 
hated  America ;  and  what  she  did  not  tell 
about  her  loneliness  and  homesickness 
Patty  divined. 

She  realized  that  the  girl  was  remark¬ 
able,  and  she  determined  in  the  future  to 
take  an  interest  in  her  and  make  her  like 
college.  But  a  senior’s  life  is  busy  and 
taken  up  with  its  own  affairs,  and  for  the 
next  week  or  two  Patty  saw  little  of  the 
freshman  beyond  an  occasional  chat  in 
the  corridors. 

One  evening  she  and  Priscilla  had  re¬ 
turned  late  from  a  dinner  in  town,  to  be 
confronted  by  a  dark  room  and  an  empty 
match-safe. 


154 


“  Per  l’ltalia” 


“Wait  a  moment  and  I  ’ll  get  some 
matches,”  said  Patty;  and  she  knocked  on 
a  door  across  the  corridor  where  a  fresh¬ 
man  lived  with  whom  they  had  a  borrow¬ 
ing  acquaintance.  She  found  within  her 
own  freshman  friends,  Lady  Clara  Vere 
de  Vere  and  Emily  Washburn.  It  was 
evident  by  the  three  heads  close  together, 
and  the  hush  that  fell  on  the  group  as  she 
entered,  that  some  momentous  piece  of 
gossip  had  been  interrupted.  Patty  for¬ 
got  her  room-mate  waiting  in  the  dark, 
and  dropped  into  a  chair  with  the  evident 
purpose  of  staying  out  the  evening. 

“Tell  me  all  about  it,  children,”  she 
said  cordially. 

The  freshmen  looked  at  one  another  and 
hesitated. 

“A  new  president?”  Patty  suggested, 
“  or  just  a  class  mutiny  ?  ” 

“  It  's  about  Olivia  Copeland,”  Lady 
Clara  returned  dubiously;  “but  I  don’t 
know  that  I  ought  to  say  anything.” 

“  Olivia  Copeland  ?  ”  Patty  straight¬ 
ened  up  with  a  new  interest  in  her  eyes. 
“What ’s  Olivia  Copeland  been  doing?” 

155 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  She  ’s  been  flunking  and  —  ” 

“  Flunking  !  ”  Patty’s  face  was  blank. 
“  But  I  thought  she  was  so  bright !  ” 

“  Oh,  she  is  bright ;  only,  you  know,  she 
has  n’t  a  way  of  making  people  find  it  out ; 
and,  besides,”  Lady  Clara  added  with 
meaning  emphasis,  “she  was  scared  over 
examinations.” 

Patty  cast  a  quick  look  at  her.  “  What 
do  you  mean  ?  ”  she  asked. 

Lady  Clara  was  fond  of  Patty,  but  she 
was  only  human,  and  she  had  been  fright¬ 
ened  herself.  “  Well,”  she  explained,  “  she 
had  heard  a  lot  of  stories  from  —  er  — 
upper-classmen  about  how  hard  the  exam¬ 
inations  are,  and  the  awful  things  they  do 
to  you  if  you  don’t  pass,  and  being  a 
stranger,  she  believed  them.  Of  course 
Emily  and  I  knew  better;:  but  she  was  just 
scared  to  death,  and  she  went  all  to  pieces, 
and  —  ” 

“Nonsense!”  said  Patty,  impatiently. 
“  You  can’t  make  me  believe  that.” 

“  If  it  had  been  a  sophomore  that  had 
tried  to  frighten  us,”  pursued  Lady  Clara, 

156 


“  Per  l’ltalia  ” 

“  we  should  n’t  have  minded  so  much ; 
but  a  senior  !  ” 

“  Now,  Patty,  are  n’t  you  sorry  that  you 
told  us* all  those  things  ?  ”  asked  Emily. 

Patty  laughed.  “  For  the  matter  of 
that,  I  never  say  anything  I ’m  not  sorry 
for  half  an  hour  later.  I ’m  going  to  get 
out  a  book  some  day  entitled  ‘  Things  I 
Wish  I  Had  n’t  Said :  A  Collection  of 
Faux  Pas'  by  Patty  Wyatt.” 

“  I  think  it ’s  more  than  a  faux  pas 
when  you  frighten  a  girl  so  she  — ” 

“  I  suppose  you  think  you  ’re  rubbing 
it  in,”  said  Patty,  imperturbably;  “but  girls 
don’t  flunk  because  they  ’re  frightened : 
they  flunk  because  they  don’t  know.” 

“  Olivia  knew  five  times  as  much 
geometry  as  I  did,  and  I  got  through  and 
she  did  n’t.” 

Patty  examined  the  carpet  in  silence. 

“  She  thinks  she ’s  going  to  be  dropped, 
and  she  ’s  just  crying  terribly,”  pursued 
Emily,  with  a  certain  relish  in  the  details. 

“Crying  ! ”  said  Patty,  sharply.  “What ’s 
she  crying  for  ?  ” 


l57 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Because  she  feels  bad,  I  suppose. 
She ’d  been  out  walking,  and  got  caught 
in  the  rain,  and  she  did  n’t  get  back  in 
time  for  dinner,  and  then  found  those 
notes  waiting  for  her.  She  ’s  up  there 
lying  on  the  bed,  and  she ’s  got  hysterics 
or  Roman  fever  or  something  like  that. 
She  told  us  to  go  away  and  let  her  alone. 
She ’s  awfully  cross  all  of  a  sudden.” 

Patty  rose.  “  I  think  I  ’ll  go  and  cheer 
her  up.” 

“  Let  her  alone,  Patty,”  said  Emily. 
“  I  know  the  way  you  cheer  people 
up.  If  you  had  n’t  cheered  her  up  before 
examinations  she  would  n’t  have  flunked.” 

“  I  did  n’t  know  anything  about  her 
then,”  said  Patty,  a  trifle  sulkily ;  “  and, 
anyway,”  she  added  as  she  opened  the 
door,  “  I  did  n’t  say  anything  that  affected 
her  passing,  one  way  or  the  other.”  She 
turned  toward  Olivia’s  room,  however,  with 
a  conscience  that  was  not  quite  comfor¬ 
table.  She  could  not  remember  just  what 
she  had  told  those  freshmen  about  exam¬ 
inations,  but  she  had  an  uneasy  feeling 

158 


“  Per  l’ltalia ” 

that  it  might  not  have  been  of  a  reassuring 
nature. 

“  I  wish  I  could  ever  learn  when  it  is 
time  for  joking  and  when  it  is  not,”  she  said 
to  herself  as  she  knocked  on  the  study  door. 

No  one  answered,  and  she  turned  the 
knob  and  entered.  A  stifled  sob  came 
from  one  of  the  bedrooms,  and  Patty 
hesitated. 

She  was  not  in  the  habit  of  crying  her¬ 
self,  and  she  always  felt  uncomfortable 
when  other  people  did  it.  Something 
must  be  done,  however,  and  she  advanced 
to  the  threshold  and  silently  regarded 
Olivia,  who  was  stretched  face  downward 
on  the  bed.  At  the  sound  of  Patty’s  step 
she  raised  her  head  and  cast  a  startled 
glance  at  the  intruder,  and  then  buried  her 
face  in  the  pillows  again.  Patty  scribbled 
an  “  engaged  ”  sign  and  pinned  it  on  the 
study  door,  and  drawing  up  a  chair  beside 
the  bed,  she  sat  down  with  the  air  of  a 
physician  about  to  make  a  diagnosis. 

“  Well,  Olivia,”  she  began  in. a  business¬ 
like  tone,  “  what  is  the  trouble?” 

159 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Olivia  opened  her  hands  and  disclosed 
some  crumpled  papers.  Patty  spread 
them  out  and  hastily  ran  her  eyes  over 
the  official  printed  slips  : 

Miss  Copeland  is  hereby  informed  that  she  has 
been  found  deficient  in  German  ( three  hours). 

Miss  Copeland  is  hereby  informed  that  she  has 
been  found  deficient  in  Latin  prose  (one  hour). 

Miss  Copeland  is  hereby  informed  that  she  has 
been  found  deficient  in  geometry  (four  hours). 

Patty  performed  a  rapid  calculation, — 
“  three  and  one  are  four  and  four  are 
eight/’ —  and  knit  her  brows. 

“Will  they  send  me  home,  Patty?” 

“  Mercy,  no,  child ;  I  hope  not.  A 
person  who  ’s  done  as  good  work  as  you 
in  English  ought  to  have  the  right  to 
flunk  every  other  blessed  thing,  if  she 
wants  to.” 

“  But  you  ’re  dropped  if  you  flunk  eight 
hours  ;  you  told  me  so  yourself.” 

“  Don’t  believe  anything  I  told  you,” 
said  Patty,  reassuringly.  “  I  don’t  know 

160 


“  Per  l’ltalia  ” 

what  I  ’m  talking  about  more  than  half 
the  time.” 

“  I  ’d  hate  to  be  sent  back,  and  have 
my  father  know  I  ’d  failed,  when  he  spent 
so  much  time  preparing  me  ;  but  ” — Olivia 
began  to  cry  again — “I  want  to  go 
back  so  much  that  I  don’t  believe  I  care.” 

“You  don’t  know  what  you  ’re  talking 
about,”  said  Patty.  She  put  her  hand  on 
the  girl’s  shoulder.  “  Mercy,  child,  you  ’re 
sopping  wet,  and  you  ’re  shivering !  Sit 
up  and  take  those  shoes  off.” 

Olivia  sat  up  and  pulled  at  the  laces 
with  ineffectual  fingers,  and  Patty  jerked 
them  open  and  dumped  the  shoes  in  a 
squashy  heap  on  the  floor. 

“  Do  you  know  what ’s  the  matter  with 
you?”  she  asked.  “You’re  not  crying 
because  you ’ve  flunked.  You  ’re  crying 
because  you ’ve  caught  cold,  and  you  ’re 
tired  and  wet  and  hungry.  You  take 
those  wet  clothes  off  this  minute  and  get 
into  a  warm  bath-robe,  and  I  ’ll  get  you 
some  dinner.” 

“  I  don’t  want  any  dinner,”  wailed 

1 6 1 


IX 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Olivia,  and  she  showed  signs  of  turning 
back  to  the  pillows  again. 

“  Don’t  act  like  a  baby,  Olivia,”  said 
Patty,  sharply ;  “sit  up  and  be  a — a  man.” 

Ten  minutes  later  Patty  returned  from 
a  successful  looting  expedition,  and  de¬ 
posited  her  spoils  on  the  bedroom  table. 
Olivia  sat  on  the  edge  of  the  bed  and 
watched  her  apathetically,  a  picture  of 
shivering  despondency. 

“  Drink  this,”  commanded  Patty,  as  she 
extended  a  steaming  glass. 

Olivia  obediently  raised  it  to  her  lips, 
and  drew  back.  “  What  ’s  in  it  ?  ”  she 
asked  faintly. 

“Everything  I  could  find  that ’s  hot  — 
quinine  and  whisky  and  Jamaica  ginger 
and  cough  syrup  and  a  dash  of  red  pep¬ 
per,  and  —  one  or  two  other  things.  It ’s 
my  own  idea.  You  can’t  take  cold  after 
that .” 

“I  —  I  don’t  believe  I  want  any.” 

“Drink  it  —  every  drop,”  said  Patty, 
grimly ;  and  Olivia  shut  her  eyes  and 
gulped  it  down. 


162 


“Per  l’ltalia” 


“  Now/’  said  Patty,  cheerfully  bustling 
about,  “  I  ’ll  get  dinner.  Have  you  a  can- 
opener?  And  any  alcohol,  by  chance? 
That ’s  nice.  We  ’ll  have  three  courses, 
— canned  soup,  canned  baked  beans,  and 
preserved  ginger, —  all  of  them  hot.  It ’s 
mighty  lucky  Georgie  Merriles  was  in 
New  York  or  she ’d  never  have  lent  them 
to  me.” 

Olivia,  to  her  own  astonishment,  pres¬ 
ently  found  herself  laughing  (she  had 
thought  that  she  would  never  smile  again) 
as  she  sipped  mulligatawny  soup  from  a 
tooth-mug  and  balanced  a  pin-trayful  of 
steaming  baked  beans  on  her  knee. 

“And  now,”  said  Patty,  as,  the  three 
courses  disposed  of,  she  tucked  the  fresh¬ 
man  into  bed,  “  we  ’ll  map  out  a  cam¬ 
paign.  While  eight  hours  are  pretty 
serious,  they  are  not  of  necessity  deadly. 
What  made  you  flunk  Latin  prose  ?  ” 

“  I  never  had  any  before  I  came,  and 
when  I  told  Miss — ” 

“Certainly;  she  thought  it  her  duty 
to  flunk  you.  You  should  n’t  have  men- 

163 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


tioned  the  subject  But  never  mind.  It ’s 
only  one  hour,  and  it  won’t  take  you  a 
minute  to  work  it  off.  How  about 
German  ?  ” 

“  German  ’s  a  little  hard  because  it ’s 
so  different  from  Italian  and  French,  you 
know  ;  and  I  ’m  sort  of  frightened  when 
she  calls  on  me,  and — ” 

“  Pretty  stupid,  on  the  whole  ?  ”  Patty 
suggested. 

“I’m  afraid  I  am,”  she  confessed. 

“  Well,  I  dare  say  you  deserved  to  flunk 
in  that.  You  can  tutor  it  up  and  pass  it 
off  in  the  spring.  How  about  geometry  ?  ” 

“  I  thought  I  knew  that,  only  she  did  n’t 
ask  what  I  expected  and — ” 

“An  unfortunate  circumstance,  but  it 
will  happen.  Could  you  review  it  up  a 
little  and  take  a  reexamination  right 
away?” 

“Yes;  I  ’m  sure  I  could,  only  they 
won’t  give  me  another  chance.  They  ’ll 
send  me  home  first.” 

“  Who ’s  your  instructor?  ” 

“  Miss  Prescott.” 

Patty  frowned,  and  then  she  laughed. 

164 


“  Per  l’ltalia” 


“  I  thought  if  it  were  Miss  Hawley  I  could 
go  to  her  and  explain  the  matter  and  ask 
her  to  give  you  a  reexamination.  Miss 
Hawley  ’s  occasionally  human.  But  Miss 
Prescott !  No  wonder  you  flunked.  I ’m 
afraid  of  her  myself.  She  ’s  the  only 
woman  that  ever  got  a  degree  at  some 
German  university,  and  she  simply  has  n’t 
a  thought  in  the  world  beyond  mathe¬ 
matics.  I  don’t  believe  the  woman  has 
any  soul.  If  one  of  those  mediums  should 
come  here  and  dematerialize  her,  all  that 
would  be  left  would  be  an  equilateral 
triangle.” 

Patty  shook  her  head.  “  I  ’m  afraid 
there ’s  not  much  use  in  arguing  with  a 
person  like  that.  If  she  once  sees  a  truth, 
you  know,  she  sees  it  for  all  time.  But 
never  mind ;  I  '11  do  the  best  I  can.  I  ’ll 
tell  her  you  ’re  an  undiscovered  mathe¬ 
matical  genius ;  that  it  ’s  latent,  but  if 
she  ’ll  examine  you  again  she  ’ll  find  it. 
That  ought  to  appeal  to  her.  Good-night. 
Go  to  sleep  and  don’t  worry ;  I  ’ll  man¬ 
age  her.” 

“  Good  night ;  and  thank  you,  Patty,” 

165 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

called  a  tolerably  cheerful  voice  from  under 
the  covers. 

Patty  closed  the  door,  and  stood  a  mo¬ 
ment  in  the  hall,  pondering  the  situation. 
Olivia  Copeland  was  too  valuable  to  throw 
away.  The  college  must  be  made  to 
realize  her  worth.  But  that  was  difficult. 
Patty  had  tried  to  make  the  college  realize 
things  before.  Miss  Prescott  was  the 
only  means  of  salvation  that  she  could 
think  of,  and  Miss  Prescott  was  a  doubtful 
means.  She  did  not  at  all  relish  the  pros¬ 
pect  of  calling  on  her,  but  there  seemed 
to  be  nothing  else  to  do.  She  made  a 
little  grimace  and  laughed.  “  I  ’m  acting 
like  a  freshman  myself,”  she  thought. 
“  Walk  up,  Patty,  and  face  the  guns”  ;  and 
without  giving  herself  time  to  hesitate  she 
marched  up-stairs  and  knocked  on  Miss 
Prescott’s  door.  She  reflected  after  she 
had  knocked  that  perhaps  it  would  have 
been  more  politic  to  have  postponed  her 
business  until  the  morrow.  But  the  door 
opened  before  she  had  time  to  run  away, 
and  she  found  herself  rather  confusedly 

1 66 


“Per  1' Italia” 


bowing  to  Miss  Prescott,  who  held  in  her 
hand,  not  a  book  on  calculus,  but  a  com¬ 
mon,  every-day  magazine. 

“  Good  evening,  Miss  Wyatt.  Won’t 
you  come  in  and  sit  down  ?  ”  said  Miss 
Prescott,  in  a  very  cordially  human  tone. 

As  she  sank  into  a  deep  rush  chair 
Patty  had  a  blurred  vision  of  low  book¬ 
cases,  pictures,  rugs,  and  polished  brass 
thrown  into  soft  relief  by  a  shaded  lamp 
which  stood  on  the  table.  Before  she  had 
time  to  mentally  shake  herself  and  recon¬ 
struct  her  ideas  she  was  gaily  chatting  to 
Miss  Prescott  about  the  probable  outcome 
of  a  serial  story  in  the  magazine. 

Miss  Prescott  did  not  seem  to  wonder 
in  the  least  at  this  unusual  visit,  but  talked 
along  easily  on  various  subjects,  and 
laughed  and  told  stories  like  the  humanest 
of  human  beings.  Patty  watched  her,  fas¬ 
cinated.  “She ’s  pretty,"  she  thought  to 
herself,  and  she  began  to  wonder  how  old 
she  was.  Never  before  had  she  associated 
any  age  whatever  with  Miss  Prescott. 
She  had  regarded  her  much  in  the  same 

167 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

light  as  a  scientific  truth,  which  exists,  but 
is  quite  irrespective  of  time  or  place.  She 
tried  to  recall  some  story  that  had  been 
handed  about  among  the  girls  her  fresh¬ 
man  year.  She  remembered  vaguely  that 
it  had  in  it  the  suggestion  that  Miss  Pres¬ 
cott  had  once  been  in  love.  At  the  time 
Patty  had  scoffingly  repudiated  the  idea, 
but  now  she  was  half  willing  to  believe  it. 

Suddenly,  in  the  midst  of  the  conversa¬ 
tion,  the  ten-o’clock  bell  rang,  and  Patty 
recalled  her  errand  with  a  start. 

“I  suppose,”  she  said,  “you  are  won¬ 
dering  why  I  came.” 

“I  was  hoping,”  said  Miss  Prescott, 
with  a  smile,  “that  it  was  just  to  see  me, 
without  any  ulterior  motive.” 

“  It  will  be  the  next  time —  if  you  will 
let  me  come  again ;  but  to-night  I  had 
another  reason,  which  I  ’m  afraid  you  ’ll 
think  impertinent  —  and,”  she  added 
frankly,  “  I  don’t  know  just  what  ’s  the 
best  way  to  tell  it  so  that  you  wont  think 
it  impertinent.” 

“Tell  it  to  me  any  way  you  please,  and 

1 68 


“  Per  l’ltalia  ” 

I  will  try  not  to  think  so,”  said  Miss  Pres¬ 
cott,  kindly. 

“  Don’t  you  think  sometimes  the  girls 
can  tell  more  of  one  another’s  ability  than 
the  instructors?”  Patty  asked.  “I  know 
a  girl,”  she  continued,  “a  freshman,  who 
is,  in  some  ways,  the  most  remarkable 
person  I  have  ever  met.  Of  course  I 
can’t  be  sure,  but  I  should  say  that  she  is 
going  to  be  very  good  in  English  some 
day  —  so  good,  you  know,  that  the  college 
will  be  proud  of  her.  Well,  this  girl  has 
flunked  such  a  lot  that  I  am  afraid  she  is 
in  danger  of  being  sent  home,  and  the 
college  simply  can’t  afford  to  lose  her.  I 
don’t  know  anything  about  your  rules,  of 
course,  but  what  seems  to  me  the  easiest 
way  is  for  you  to  give  her  another  exami¬ 
nation  in  geometry  immediately, —  she 
really  knows  it, —  and  then  tell  the  faculty 
about  her  and  urge  them  to  give  her  an¬ 
other  trial.” 

Patty  brought  out  this  astounding  re¬ 
quest  in  the  most  matter-of-fact  way 
possible,  and  the  corners  of  Miss  Pres- 

169 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

cott’s  mouth  twitched  as  she  asked:  “Of 
whom  are  you  speaking  ?  ” 

“Olivia  Copeland.” 

Miss  Prescott’s  mouth  grew  firm,  and 
she  looked  like  the  instructor  in  mathe¬ 
matics  again. 

“  Miss  Copeland  did  absolutely  nothing 
on  her  examination,  Miss  Wyatt,  and  what 
little  she  has  recited  during  the  year  does 
not  betoken  any  unusual  ability.  I  am 
sorry,  but  it  would  be  impossible.” 

“  But,  Miss  Prescott,”  Patty  expostu¬ 
lated,  “  the  girl  has  worked  under  such 
peculiar  disadvantages.  She  ’s  an  Ameri¬ 
can,  but  she  lives  abroad,  and  all  our  ways 
are  new  to  her.  wShe  has  never  been  to 
school  a  day  in  her  life.  Her  father  pre¬ 
pared  her  for  college,  and,  of  course,  not  in 
the  same  way  that  the  other  girls  have  been 
prepared.  She  is  shy,  and  not  being  used 
to  reciting  in  a  class,  she  does  n’t  know  how 
to  show  off.  I  am  sure,  Miss  Prescott, 
that  if  you  would  take  her  and  examine 
her  yourself,  you  would  find  that  she 
understands  the  work  —  that  is,  if  you 

i  70 


“  Per  1' Italia” 


would  let  her  get  over  being  afraid  of  you 
first.  I  know  you  ’re  busy,  and  it ’s  ask- 
ing  a  good  deal,”  Patty  finished  apologeti¬ 
cally. 

“  It  is  not  that,  Miss  Wyatt,  for  of  course 
I  do  not  wish  to  mark  any  student  un¬ 
justly;  but  I  cannot  help  feeling  that  you 
have  overestimated  Miss  Copeland’s 
ability.  She  has  really  had  a  chance  to 
show  what  is  in  her,  and  if  she  has  failed 
in  as  many  courses  as  you  say —  The 
college,  you  know,  must  keep  up  the 
standard  of  its  work,  and  in  questions  like 
this  it  is  not  always  possible  to  consider 
the  individual.” 

Patty  felt  that  she  was  being  dismissed, 
and  she  groped  about  wildly  for  a  new 
plea.  Her  eye  caught  a  framed  picture 
of  the  old  monastery  of  Amalfi  hanging 
over  the  bookcase. 

“  Perhaps  you ’ve  lived  in  Italy  ?  ”  she 
asked. 

Miss  Prescott  started  slightly.  “  No,” 
she  said ;  “  but  I  ’ve  spent  some  time 
there.” 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  That  picture  of  Amalfi,  up  there,  made 
me  think  of  it.  Olivia  Copeland,  you 
know,  lives  near  there,  at  Sorrento.” 

A  gleam  of  interest  flashed  into  Miss 
Prescott’s  eye. 

“  That ’s  how  I  first  came  to  notice  her,” 
continued  Patty  ;  “  but  she  did  n’t  interest 
me  so  much  until  I  talked  to  her.  It  seems 
that  her  father  is  an  artist,  and  she  was  born 
in  Italy,  and  has  only  visited  America  once 
when  she  was  a  little  girl.  Her  mother  is 
dead,  and  she  and  her  father  live  in  an  old 
villa  on  that  road  along  the  coast  leading 
to  Sorrento.-  She  has  never  had  any  girl 
friends;  just  her  father’s  friends  —  artists 
and  diplomats  and  people  like  that.  She 
speaks  Italian,  and  she  knows  all  about 
Italian  art  and  politics  and  the  church  and 
the  agrarian  laws  and  how  the  people  are 
taxed ;  and  all  the  peasants  around  Sor¬ 
rento  are  her  friends.  She  is  so  homesick 
that  she  nearly  dies,  and  the  only  person 
here  that  she  can  talk  to  about  the  things 
she  is  interested  in  is  the  peanut  man 
down-town. 


Olivia  Copeland 


unit  i® 

W  3HS.  W 


“ Per  Tltalia ” 

“  The  girls  she  rooms  with  are  just  nice 
exuberant  American  girls,  and  are  inter¬ 
ested  in  golf  and  basket-ball  and  Welsh 
rabbit  and  Richard  Harding  Davis  stories 
and  Gibson  pictures  —  and  she  never  even 
heard  of  any  of  them  until  four  months  ago. 
She  has  a  water-color  sketch  of  the  villa, 
that  her  father  did.  It ’s  white  stucco,  you 
know,  with  terraces  and  marble  balustrades 
and  broken  statues,  and  a  grove  of  ilex- 
trees  with  a  fountain  in  the  center.  Just 
think  of  belonging  to  a  place  like  that.  Miss 
Prescott,  and  then  being  suddenly  plunged 
into  a  place  like  this  without  any  friends  or 
any  one  who  even  knows  about  the  things 
you  know  —  think  how  lonely  you  would 
be!” 

Patty  leaned  forward  with  flushed 
cheeks,  carried  away  by  her  own  elo¬ 
quence.  “You  know  what  Italy’s  like. 
It  ’s  a  sort  of  disease.  If  you  once  get 
fond  of  it  you  ’ll  never  forget  it,  and  you 
just  can’t  be  happy  till  you  get  back.  And 
with  Olivia  it ’s  her  home,  besides.  She ’s 
never  known  anything  else.  And  it ’s  hard 

*73 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

at  first  to  keep  your  mind  on  mathematics 
when  you  ’re  dreaming  all  the  time  of  ilex 
groves  and  fountains  and  nightingales  and 
—  and  things  like  that.” 

She  finished  lamely,  for  Miss  Prescott 
suddenly  leaned  back  in  the  shadow,  and 
it  seemed  to  Patty  that  her  face  had  grown 
pale  and  the  hand  that  held  the  magazine 
trembled. 

Patty  flushed  uncomfortably  and  tried  to 
think  what  she  had  said.  She  was  always 
saying  things  that  hurt  people’s  feelings 
without  meaning  to.  Suddenly  that  old 
story  from  her  freshman  year  flashed  into 
her  mind.  He  had  been  an  artist  and  had 
lived  in  Italy  and  had  died  of  Roman 
fever ;  and  Miss  Prescott  had  gone  to  Ger¬ 
many  to  study  mathematics,  and  had  never 
cared  for  anything  else  since.  It  sounded 
rather  made  up,  but  it  might  be  true.  Had 
she  stumbled  on  a  forbidden  subject  ?  she 
wondered  miserably.  She  had,  of  course; 
it  was  just  her  way. 

The  silence  was  becoming  unbearable ; 
she  struggled  to  think  of  something  to 

174 


“  Per  l’ltalia  ” 

say,  but  nothing  came,  and  she  rose 
abruptly. 

“  I  ’m  sorry  to  have  taken  so  much  of 
your  time,  Miss  Prescott.  I  hope  I 
have  n’t  bored  you.  Good  night.” 

Miss  Prescott  rose  and  took  Patty’s 
hand.  “  Good  night,  my  dear,  and  thank 
you  for  coming  to  me.  I  am  glad  to 
know  of  Olivia  Copeland.  I  will  see  what 
can  be  done  about  her  geometry,  and  I 
shall  be  glad,  besides,  to  know  her  as  — 
as  a  friend ;  for  I,  too,  once  cared  for 
Italy.” 

Patty  closed  the  door  softly  and  tiptoed 
home  through  the  dim  corridors. 

“  Did  you  bring  the  matches  ?  ”  called  a 
sleepy  voice  from  Priscilla’s  bedroom. 

Patty  started.  “  Oh,  the  matches  !  ” 
she  laughed.  “No;  I  forgot  them.” 

“  I  never  knew  you  to  accomplish  any¬ 
thing  yet  that  you  started  out  to  do, 
Patty  Wyatt.” 

“  I ’ve  accomplished  something  to-night, 
just  the  same,”  Patty  retorted,  with  a  lit¬ 
tle  note  of  triumph  in  her  voice;  “but  I 

175 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


have  n’t  an  idea  how  I  happened  to  do 
it,”  she  added  frankly  to  herself. 

And  she  went  to  bed  and  fell  asleep, 
quite  unaware  of  how  much  she  had  ac¬ 
complished  ;  for  unconsciously  she  had  laid 
the  foundation  of  a  friendship  which  was 
to  make  happy  the  future  of  a  lonely 
freshman  and  an  equally  lonely  instructor. 


176 


XI 

“Local  Color” 


S3 


XI 


“Local  Color” 


HE  third  senior  table  had  dis¬ 
covered  a  new  amusement 
with  which  to  enlighten  the 
tedium  of  waiting  while  Mag- 
the  kitchen  foraging  for  food. 
The  game  was  called  “local  color,”  in 
honor  of  Patty  Wyatt’s  famous  definition 
in  English  class,  “  Local  color  is  that 
which  makes  a  lie  seem  truthful.”  The 
object  of  the  game  was  to  see  who  could 
tell  the  biggest  lie  without  being  found 
out ;  and  the  one  rule  required  that  the 
victims  be  disillusionized  before  they  left 
the  table. 

Patty  was  the  instigator,  the  champion 
player,  and  the  final  victim  of  the  game. 
Baron  Munchhausen  himself  would  have 
blushed  at  some  of  her  creations,  and  her 
stories  were  told  with  such  an  air  of  in- 


179 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

genuous  honesty  that  the  most  outrageous 
among  them  obtained  credence. 

The  game  in  its  original  conception 
may  have  been  innocent  enough,  but  the 
rule  was  not  always  as  carefully  observed 
as  it  should  have  been,  and  the  most  unac¬ 
countable  scandals  began  to  float  about 
college.  The  president  of  “  Christians  ” 
had  been  called  up  for  cutting  chapel. 
The  shark  of  the  class  had  flunked  her 
ethics,  and  even  failed  to  get  through  on 
the  “re.”  Cathy  Fair  was  an  own  cousin 
of  Professor  Hitchcock’s,  and  called  him 
“Tommy”  to  his  face.  These,  and  far 
worse,  were  becoming  public  property; 
and  even  personal  fabrications  in  regard 
to  the  faculty,  intended  solely  for  under¬ 
graduate  consumption,  were  reaching  the 
ears  of  the  faculty  themselves. 

One  day  Patty  dropped  into  an  under¬ 
classman’s  room  on  some  committee  work, 
and  she  found  the  children,  in  the  manner 
of  their  elders,  regaling  themselves  on 
dainty  bits  of  college  gossip. 

“  I  heard  the  funniest  thing  about  Pro- 

180 


“Local  Color” 

fessor  Winters  yesterday,”  piped  up  a 
sophomore. 

“  Tell  it  to  us.  What  was  it  ?  ”  cried  a 
chorus  of  voices. 

“  I  ’d  like  to  hear  something  funny 
about  Professor  Winters ;  he  ’s  the  sol- 
emnest-looking  man  I  ever  saw,”  remarked 
a  freshman. 

“Well,”  resumed  the  sophomore,  “it 
seems  he  was  going  to  get  married  last 
week,  and  the  invitations  were  all  out, 
and  the  presents  all  there,  when  the  bride 
came  down  with  the  mumps.” 

“Really?  How  funny!”  came  in  a 
chorus  from  the  delighted  auditors. 

“Yes  —  on  both  sides;  and  the  cler¬ 
gyman  had  never  had  it,  so  the  ceremony 
had  to  be  postponed.” 

Patty’s  blood  froze.  She  recognized  the 
tale.  It  was  one  of  her  own  offspring, 
only  shorn  of  its  unessential  adorn¬ 
ments. 

“  Where  in  the  world  did  you  hear  any 
such  absurd  thing  as  that  ?  ”  she  demanded 
severely. 


1 8 1 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  I  heard  Lucille  Carter  tell  it  at  a 
fudge  party  up  in  Bonnie  Connaught’s 
room  last  night,”  answered  the  sopho¬ 
more,  stoutly,  sure  that  the  source  was  a 
reputable  one. 

Patty  groaned.  “  And  I  suppose  that 
every  blessed  one  of  that  dozen  girls  has 
told  it  to  another  dozen  by  this  time,  and 
that  it ’s  only  bounded  by  the  boundaries 
of  the  campus.  Well,  there ’s  not  a  word 
of  truth  in  it.  Lucille  Carter  does  n’t 
know  what  she  is  talking  about.  That ’s 
a  likely  story,  is  n’t  it  ?  ”  she  added  with 
fine  scorn.  “  Does  Professor  Winters  look 
like  a  man  who  ’d  ever  dare  propose  to  a 
girl,  let  alone  marry  her  ?  ”  And  she 
stalked  out  of  the  room  and  up  to  the 
single  where  Lucille  lived. 

“Lucille,”  said  Patty,  “what  do  you 
mean  by  spreading  that  story  about  Pro¬ 
fessor  Winters’s  bride’s  mumps  ?  ” 

“  You  told  it  to  me  yourself,”  answered 
Lucille,  with  some  warmth.  She  was  a 
believing  creature  with  an  essentially 
literal  mind,  and  she  had  always  been  out 

182 


“  Local  Color” 


of  her  element  in  the  lofty  imaginative 
realms  of  local  color. 

“  I  told  it  to  you  !  ”  said  Patty,  indig¬ 
nantly.  “You  goose,  you  don’t  mean  to 
tell  me  you  believed  it  ?  I  was  just  play¬ 
ing  local  color.” 

“  How  should  I  know  that?  You  told 
it  as  if  it  were  true.” 

“Of  course,”  said  Patty;  “that  ’s  the 
game.  You  would  n’t  have  believed  me 
if  I  had  n’t.” 

“  But  you  never  said  it  was  n’t  true. 
You  don’t  follow  the  rule.” 

“  I  did  n’t  think  it  was  necessary.  I 
never  supposed  any  one  would  believe 
any  such  absurd  story  as  that.” 

“  I  don’t  see  how  it  was  my  fault.” 

“  Of  course  it  was  your  fault.  You 
should  n’t  be  spreading  malicious  tales 
about  the  faculty ;  it  ’s  irreverent.  The 
story ’s  all  over  college  by  this  time,  and 
Professor  Winters  has  probably  heard  it 
himself.  He  ’ll  flunk  you  on  the  finals 
to  pay  for  it ;  see  if  he  does  n’t.”  And 
Patty  went  home,  leaving  a  conscience- 

183 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

smitten  and  thoroughly  indignant  Lucille 
behind  her. 

About  a  month  before  the  introduction 
of  local  color,  Patty  had  entered  upon  a 
new  activity,  which  she  referred  to  impar¬ 
tially  as  “  molding  public  opinion  ”  and 
“  elevating  the  press.”  The  way  of  it  was 
this : 

The  college,  which  was  a  modest  and 
retiring  institution  craving  only  to  be  un¬ 
molested  in  its  atmosphere  of  academic 
calm,  had  been  recently  exploited  by  a 
sensational  newspaper.  The  fact  that 
none  of  the  stories  was  true  did  not  miti¬ 
gate  the  annoyance.  The  college  was 
besieged  by  reporters  who  had  heard 
rumors  and  wished  to  have  them  corrob¬ 
orated  for  exclusive  publication  in  the 
“  Censor  ”  or  “  Advertiser  ”  or  “  Star.” 
And  they  would  also  like  a  photograph 
of  Miss  Bentley  as  she  appeared  in  the 
character  of  Portia  ;  and  since  she  refused 
to  give  it  to  them,  they  stated  their  inten¬ 
tion  of  “  faking  ”  one,  which,  they  gallantly 

184 


“  Local  Color  ” 

assured  her,  would  be  far  homelier  than  the 
original. 

The  climax  was  reached  when  Bonnie 
Connaught  was  unfortunate  enough  to 
sprain  her  ankle  in  basket-ball.  Some¬ 
thing  more  than  a  life-size  portrait  of  her, 
clothed  in  a  masculine-looking  sweater, 
with  a  basket-ball  under  her  arm,  appeared 
in  a  New  York  evening  paper,  and  scare- 
heads  three  inches  high  announced  in  red 
ink  that  the  champion  athlete  and  most 
popular  society  girl  in  college  was  at 
death’s  door,  owing  to  injuries  received  in 
basket-ball. 

Bonnie’s  eminently  respectable  family 
descended  upon  the  college  in  an  indig¬ 
nant  body  for  the  purpose  of  taking  her 
home,  and  were  with  difficulty  soothed  by 
an  equally  indignant  faculty.  The  alumnae 
wrote  that  in  their  day  such  brutal  games 
as  basket-ball  had  not  been  countenanced, 
and  that  they  feared  the  college  had 
deteriorated.  Parents  wrote  that  they 
would  remove  their  daughters  from  col¬ 
lege  if  they  were  to  be  subjected  to  such 

185 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

publicity ;  and  the  poor  president  was,  of 
course,  quite  helpless  before  the  glorious 
American  privilege  of  free  speech. 

Finally  the  college  hit  upon  a  partially 
protective  measure  —  that  of  furnishing  its 
own  news;  and  a  regularly  organized  news¬ 
paper  corps  was  formed  among  the  stu¬ 
dents,  with  a  member  of  the  faculty  at  the 
head.  The  more  respectable  of  the  papers 
were  very  glad  to  have  a  correspondent 
from  the  inside  whose  facts  needed  no  in¬ 
vestigation,  and  the  less  respectable  in  due 
time  betook  themselves  to  more  fruitful 
fields  of  scandal  and  happily  forgot  the 
existence  of  the  college. 

Patty,  having  the  reputation  of  being  an 
“  English  shark,”  had  been  duly  empan¬ 
eled  and  presented  with  a  local  paper. 
At  first  she  had  been  filled  with  a  fit  sense 
of  the  responsibility  of  the  position,  and 
had  conscientiously  neglected  her  college 
work  for  its  sake  ;  but  in  time  the  novelty 
wore  off,  and  her  weekly  budgets  became 
more  and  more  perfunctory  in  character. 

The  choice  of  Patty  for  this  particular 

1 86 


“Local  Color” 


paper  perhaps  had  not  been  very  far¬ 
sighted,  for  the  editor  wished  a  column  a 
week  of  what  he  designated  as  “chatty 
news,”  whereas  it  would  have  been  wiser 
to  have  given  her  a  city  paper  which  re¬ 
quired  only  a  brief  statement  of  important 
facts.  Patty’s  own  tendencies,  it  must  be 
confessed,  had  a  slightly  yellow  tinge,  and, 
with  a  delighted  editor  egging  her  on,  it 
was  hard  for  her  to  suppress  her  latent 
love  for  “local  color.”  The  paper,  how¬ 
ever,  had  a  wide  circulation  among  the 
faculty,  which  circumstance  tended  to  have 
a  chastening  effect. 

The  day  following  Patty’s  bride-with- 
the-mumps  contretemps  with  Lucille  hap¬ 
pened  to  be  Friday,  and  she  was  painfully 
engaged  in  her  weekly  molding  of  public 
opinion.  It  had  been  a  barren  week,  and 
there  was  nothing  to  write  about. 

She  reviewed  at  length  a  set  of  French 
encyclopedias  which  had  been  given  to  the 
library,  and  spoke  with  enthusiasm  of  a  re¬ 
markable  collection  of  jaw-bones  of  the  pre¬ 
historic  cow  which  had  been  presented  to 

187 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

the  department  of  paleontology.  She  gave 
in  full  the  list  of  the  seventeen  girls  who 
had  been  honored  with  scholarships,  labori¬ 
ously  writing  out  their  full  names,  with 
“  Miss  ”  attached  to  each,  and  the  name  of 
the  town  and  the  State  in  its  unabbre¬ 
viated  length.  And  still  it  only  mounted 
up  to  ten  pages,  and  it  took  eighteen  of 
Patty’s  writing  to  make  a  column. 

She  strolled  down  to  examine  the  bul¬ 
letin-board  again,  and  discovered  a  new 
notice  which  she  had  overlooked  before : 

Friday,  January  17.  Professor  James  Harkner 
Wallis  of  the  Lick  Observatory  will  lecture  in 
the  auditorium,  at  eight  o’clock,  upon  “Theories 
of  the  Sidereal  System.” 

Patty  regarded  the  notice  without  emo¬ 
tion.  It  did  not  look  capable  of  expan¬ 
sion,  and  she  did  not  feel  the  remotest  in¬ 
terest  in  the  sidereal  system.  The  brief 
account  of  the  lecturer,  however,  which 
was  appended  to  the  notice,  stated  that 
Professor  Wallis  was  one  of  the  best 
known  of  living  astronomers,  and  that  he 

188 


“  Local  Color” 

had  conducted  important  original  inves¬ 
tigations. 

“  If  I  knew  anything  about  astronomy,” 
she  thought  desperately,  “  I  might  be  able 
to  spread  him  out  over  two  pages.” 

An  acquaintance  of  Patty’s  strolled  up 
to  the  bulletin-board. 

“  Did  you  ever  hear  of  that  man  ?  ” 
asked  Patty,  pointing  to  the  notice. 

“Never;  but  I  ’m  not  an  astronomer.” 

“  I ’m  not,  either,”  said  Patty.  “I  won¬ 
der  who  he  is?  ”  she  added  wistfully.  “It 
seems  he  ’s  very  famous,  and  I  ’d  really 
like  to  know  something  about  him.” 

The  girl  opened  her  eyes  in  some  sur¬ 
prise  at  this  thirst  for  gratuitous  infor¬ 
mation  ;  it  did  not  accord  with  Patty’s 
reputation :  and  ever  after,  when  it  was 
affirmed  in  her  presence  that  Patty  Wyatt 
was  brilliant  but  superficial,  she  stoutly 
maintained  that  Patty  was  deeper  than 
people  thought.  She  pondered  a  moment, 
and  then  returned,  “  Lucille  Carter  takes 
astronomy ;  she  could  tell  you  about 
him.” 

189 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“So  she  does.  I  ’d  forgotten  it”;  and 
Patty  swung  off  toward  Lucille’s  room. 

She  found  a  number  of  girls  sitting 
around  on  the  various  pieces  of  furniture, 
eating  fudge  and  discussing  the  tragedies 
of  one  Maeterlinck. 

“  What ’s  this?  ”  said  Patty.  “A  party?” 

“Oh,  no,”  said  Lucille;  “just  an  extra 
session  of  the  Dramatic  Theory  class. 
Don’t  be  afraid ;  there ’s  your  room-mate 
up  on  the  window-seat.” 

“  Hello,  Pris.  What  are  you  doing 
here  ?  ”  said  Patty,  dipping  out  some  fudge 
with  a  spoon.  (There  had  been  a  dis¬ 
agreement  as  to  how  long  it  should 
boil.) 

“Just  paying  a  social  call.  What  are 
you  doing  ?  I  thought  you  were  going  to 
hurry  up  and  get  through  so  you  could  go 
down-town  to  dinner.” 

“I  am,”  said  Patty,  vaguely;  “but  I 
got  lonely!” 

The  conversation  drifting  off  to  Maeter¬ 
linck  again,  she  seized  the  opportunity  to 
inquire  of  Lucille  :  “  Who ’s  this  astronomy 

190 


“  Local  Color” 


man  that  ’s  going  to  lecture  to-night  ? 
He ’s  quite  famous,  is  n’t  he  ?  ” 

“Very,”  said  Lucille.  “  Professor  Phelps 
has  been  talking  about  him  every  day  for 
the  last  week.” 

“Where ’s  the  Lick  Observatory,  any¬ 
way?  ”  pursued  Patty.  “  I  can’t  remember, 
for  the  life  of  me,  whether  it ’s  in  California 
or  on  Pike’s  Peak.” 

Lucille  considered  a  moment.  “  It ’s  in 
Dublin,  Ireland.” 

“Dublin,  Ireland?”  asked  Patty,  in 
some  surprise.  “  I  could  have  sworn  that 
it  was  in  California.  Are  you  sure  you 
know  where  it  is,  Lucille  ?  ” 

“  Of  course  I  ’m  sure.  Have  n’t  we 
been  having  it  for  three  days  steady  ? 
California!  You  must  be  crazy,  Patty. 
I  think  you ’d  better  elect  astronomy.” 

“  I  know  it,”  said  Patty,  meekly.  “  I 
was  going  to,  but  I  heard  that  it  was  ter¬ 
ribly  hard,  and  I  thought  senior  year  you 
have  a  right  to  take  something  a  little 
easy.  But,  you  know,  that’s  the  funniest 
thing  about  the  Lick  Observatory,  for  I 

191 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

really  know  a  lot  about  it  —  read  an  article 
on  it  just  a  little  while  ago;  and  I  don’t 
know  how  I  got  the  impression,  but  I  was 
almost  sure  it  was  in  the  United  States. 
It  just  shows  that  you  can  never  be  sure 
of  anything.” 

“  No,”  said  Lucille  ;  “  it  is  n’t  safe.” 

“  Is  it  connected  with  Dublin  Univer¬ 
sity  ?  ”  asked  Patty. 

“I  believe  so,”  said  Lucille. 

“  And  this  astronomy  person,”  continued 
Patty,  warming  to  her  work — “  I  suppose 
he’s  an  Irishman,  then.” 

“  Of  course,”  said  Lucille.  “  He ’s  very 
noted.” 

“  What’s  he  done?”  asked  Patty.  “It 
said  on  the  bulletin-board  he  ’d  made 
some  important  discoveries.  I  suppose, 
though,  they  ’re  frightful  technicalities  that 
no  one  ever  heard  of.” 

“Well,”  said  Lucille,  considering,  “he 
discovered  the  rings  of  Saturn  and  the 
Milky  Way.” 

“  The  rings  of  Saturn !  Why,  I  thought 
those  had  been  discovered  ages  ago.  He 

192 


“Local  Color” 


must  be  a  terribly  old  man.  I  remember 
reading  about  them  when  I  was  an  infant 
in  arms.” 

“  It  was  a  good  while  ago,”  said  Lucille. 
“  Eight  or  nine  years,  at  least.” 

“  And  the  Milky  Way !  ”  continued 
Patty,  with  a  show  of  incredulity.  “  I 
don’t  see  how  people  could  have  helped 
discovering  that  long  ago.  I  could  have 
done  it  myself,  and  I  don’t  pretend  to 
know  anything  about  astronomy.” 

“  Oh,  of  course,”  Lucille  hastened  to 
explain,  “  the  phenomenon  had  been 
observed  before,  but  had  never  been 
accounted  for.” 

“  I  see,”  said  Patty,  surreptitiously  tak¬ 
ing  notes.  “  He  must  really  be  an  awfully 
important  man.  How  did  he  happen  to 
do  all  this  ?  ” 

“  He  went  up  in  a  balloon,”  said  Lucille, 
vaguely. 

“  A  balloon  !  What  fun  !  ”  exclaimed 
Patty,  her  reportorial  instinct  waking  to 
the  scent.  “  They  use  balloons  a  lot  more 
in  Europe  than  they  do  here.” 

193 


13 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 


“  I  believe  he  has  his  balloon  with  him 
here  in  America,”  said  Lucille.  “  He 
never  travels  without  it.” 

“What  ’s  the  good  of  it?”  inquired 
Patty.  “  I  suppose,”  she  continued,  fur¬ 
nishing  her  own  explanation,  “  it  gets  him 
such  a  lot  nearer  to  the  stars.” 

“That  ’s  without  doubt  the  reason,” 
said  Lucille. 

“  I  wish  he  ’d  send  it  up  here,”  sighed 
Patty.  “  Do  you  know  any  more  inter¬ 
esting  details  about  him  ?  ” 

“N  —  no,”  said  Lucille;  “I  can’t  think 
of  any  more  at  present.” 

“  He  ’s  certainly  the  most  interesting 
professor  I  ever  heard  of,”  said  Patty, 
“and  it ’s  strange  I  never  heard  of  him 
before.” 

“  There  seem  to  be  a  good  many  things 
you  have  never  heard  of,”  observed  Lu- 
cille. 

“Yes,”  acknowledged  Patty;  “there 

_  >> 

are. 

“Well,  Patty,”  said  Priscilla,  emerging 
from  the  discussion  on  the  other  side  of 


194 


“  Local  Color” 


the  room,  “  if  you  ’re  going  to  dinner  with 
me,  you  ’d  better  stop  fooling  with  Lu¬ 
cille,  and  go  home  and  get  your  work 
done.” 

“  Very  well,”  said  Patty,  rising  with 
obliging  promptitude.  “  Good-by,  girls. 
Come  and  see  me  and  I  ’ll  give  you  some 
fudge  that  ’s  done.  Thank  you  for  the 
information,”  she  called  back  to  Lucille. 

The  Monday  afternoon  following,  Patty 
and  Priscilla,  with  two  or  three  other  girls, 
came  strolling  back  from  the  lake,  jingling 
their  skates  over  their  arms. 

“  Come  in,  girls,  and  have  some  hot 
tea,”  said  Priscilla,  as  they  reached  the 
study  door. 

“  Here ’s  a  note  for  Patty,”  said  Bonnie 
Connaught,  picking  up  an  envelop  from 
the  table.  “Terribly  official-looking. 
Must  have  come  in  the  college  mail. 
Open  it,  Patty,  and  let ’s  see  what  you ’ve 
flunked.” 

“  Dear  me!”  said  Patty,  “  I  thought  that 
was  a  habit  I ’d  outgrown  freshman  year.” 

195 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

They  crowded  around  and  read  the 
note  over  her  shoulder.  Patty  had  no 
secrets. 

The  Observatory,  January  20. 
Miss  Patty  Wyatt. 

Dear  Miss  Wyatt:  I  am  informed  that 
you  are  the  correspondent  for  the  “  Saturday 
Evening  Post-Despatch,”  and  I  take  the  liberty 
of  calling  your  attention  to  a  rather  grave  error 
which  occurred  in  last  week’s  issue.  You  stated 
that  the  Lick  Observatory  is  in  Dublin,  Ireland, 
while,  as  is  a  matter  of  general  information,  it 
is  situated  near  San  Francisco,  California.  Pro¬ 
fessor  James  Harkner  Wallis  is  not  an  Irishman; 
he  is  an  American.  Though  he  has  carried  on 
some  very  important  investigations,  he  is  the 
discoverer  of  neither  the  rings  of  Saturn  nor 
the  Milky  Way.  Very  truly  yours, 

Howard  D.  Phelps. 

“  It ’s  from  Professor  Phelps  —  what  can 
he  mean  ?  ”  said  the  Twin,  in  bewilderment. 

“Oh,  Patty,”  groaned  Priscilla,  “you 
don't  mean  to  say  that  you  actually  be¬ 
lieved  all  that  stuff?  ” 

“  Of  course  I  believed  it.  How  could 
I  know  she  was  lying?  ” 

196 


“Local  Color” 


“  She  was  n’t  lying.  Don’t  use  such 
reckless  language.” 

“  I  ’d  like  to  know  what  you  call  it, 
then  ?  ”  said  Patty,  angrily. 

“  Local  color,  my  dear,  just  local  color. 
The  worm  will  turn,  you  know.” 

“Why  did  n’t  you  tell  me?”  wailed 
Patty. 

“  Never  supposed  for  a  moment  you 
believed  her.  Thought  you  were  joking 
all  the  time.” 

“What  ’s  the  matter,  Patty?  What 
have  you  done  ?  ”  the  others  demanded, 
divided  between  a  pardonable  feeling  of 
curiosity  and  a  sense  that  they  ought  to 
retire  before  this  domestic  tragedy. 

“Oh,  tell  them,”  said  Patty,  bitterly. 
“Tell  every  one  you  see.  Shout  it  from 
the  dome  of  the  observatory.  You  might 
as  well ;  it  ’ll  be  all  over  college  in  a  couple 
of  hours.”  - 

Priscilla  explained,  and  as  she  explained 
the  funny  side  began  to  strike  her.  By 
the  time  she  had  finished  they  were  all  — 
except  Patty  —  reduced  to  hysterics. 

197 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“The  poor  editor,”  gurgled  Priscilla. 
“  He  ’s  always  after  a  scoop,  and  he  ’s 
certainly  got  one  this  time.” 

“Where  is  it,  Patty — the  paper?” 
gasped  Bonnie. 

“  I  threw  it  away,”  said  Patty,  sulkily. 

Priscilla  rummaged  it  out  of  the  waste¬ 
basket,  and  the  four  bent  over  it  delight¬ 
edly. 

Ireland’s  eminent  astronomer  spending  a  few 
weeks  in  America  lecturing  at  the  principal  col¬ 
leges —  His  famous  discovery  of  the  rings  of 
Saturn  made  during  a  balloon  ascension  three 
thousand  feet  in  the  air  —  Though  this  is  his 
first  visit  to  the  States,  he  speaks  with  only  a 
slight  brogue  —  Loyal  son  of  old  Erin 

“Patty,  Patty!  And  you,  of  all  people, 
to  be  so  gullible  !  ” 

“Professor  James  Harkner  Wallis's 
parents  will  be  writing  to  Prexy  next  to 
say  that  their  son  can’t  lecture  here  any 
more  if  he  is  to  be  subjected  to  this  sort 
of  thing.” 

“It  ’s  disgusting !  ”  said  Bonnie  Con¬ 
naught,  feelingly. 


198 


“  Local  Color  ” 


“  When  you  ’ve  got  through  laughing, 
I  wish  you  ’d  tell  me  what  to  do.” 

“Tell  Professor  Phelps  it  was  a  slip  of 
the  pen.” 

“  A  slip  of  the  pen  to  the  extent  of  half 
a  column  is  good,”  said  the  Twin. 

“  I  think  you  girls  are  beastly  to  laugh 
when  I  am  probably  being  expelled  this 
minute.” 

“  Faculty  meeting  does  n’t  come  till 
four,”  said  Bonnie. 

Patty  sat  down  by  the  desk  and  buried 
her  head  in  her  arms. 

“  Patty,”  said  Priscilla,  “  you  are  n’t  cry¬ 
ing,  are  you  ?  ” 

“No,”  said  Patty,  savagely;  “I  ’m 
thinking.” 

“  You  will  never  think  of  anything  that 
will  explain  that.” 

Patty -looked  up  with  the  air  of  one  who 
has  received  an  inspiration.  “  I  ’m  going 
to  tell  him  the  truth.” 

“  Don’t  do  anything  so  rash,”  pleaded 

the  Twin. 

_ • 

“That  is,  of  course,  the  only  thing  you 

199 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

can  do,”  said  Priscilla.  “  Sit  down  and 
write  him  a  note,  and  I  ’ll  promise  not  to 
laugh  till  you  get  through.” 

Patty  stood  up.  “  I  think,”  she  said, 
“  I  ’ll  go  and  see  him.” 

“Oh,  no.  Write  him  a  note.  It’s  loads 
easier.” 

“No,”  said  Patty,  with  dignity;  “  I  think 
I  owe  him  a  personal  explanation.  Is  my 
hair  all  right?  If  you  girls  reveal  this  to 
a  single  person  before  I  come  back,  I  ’ll 
not  tell  you  a  thing  he  says,”  she  added 
as  she  closed  the  door. 

Patty  returned  half  an  hour  later,  just 
as  they  were  finally  settling  down  to  tea. 
She  peered  around  the  darkening  room  ; 
finding  only  four  expectant  faces,  she  lei¬ 
surely  seated  herself  on  a  cushion  on  the 
floor  and  stretched  out  her  hand  for  a 
steaming  cup. 

“What  did  he  say?  What  kept  you 
so  long  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  I  stopped  in  the  office  to  change 
my  electives,  and  it  delayed  me.” 

“You  don’t  mean  to  tell  me  that  man 


200 


“  Local  Color” 


made  you  elect  astronomy  ?  ”  Priscilla 
asked  indignantly. 

“  Certainly  not,”  said  Patty.  “  I  should 
n’t  have  done  it  if  he  had.” 

“  Oh,  Patty,  I  know  you  like  to  tease, 
but  I  think  it’s  odious.  You  know  we  ’re 
in  suspense.  Tell  us  what  happened.” 

“Well,”  said  Patty,  placidly  gathering 
her  skirts  about  her,  “  I  told  him  exactly 
how  it  was.  I  did  n’t  hide  anything  — 
not  even  the  bride  with  the  mumps.” 

“  Was  he  cross,  or  did  he  laugh  ?  ” 

“He  laughed,”  said  Patty,  “till  I 
thought  he  was  going  to  fall  off  his  chair, 
and  I  looked  anxiously  around  for  some 
water  and  a  call-bell.  He  really  has  a 
surprising  sense  of  humor  for  a  member 
of  the  faculty.” 

“  Was  he  nice  ?  ” 

“Yes,”  said  Patty;  “he  was  a  dear. 
When  he  got  through  discussing  Univer¬ 
sal  Truth,  I  asked  him  if  I  might  elect 
astronomy,  and  he  said  I  would  find  it 
pretty  hard  the  second  semester  ;  but  I 
told  him  I  was  willing  to  work,  and  he 


201 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

said  I  really  showed  a  remarkable  aptitude 
for  explaining  phenomena,  and  that  if  I 
were  in  earnest  he  would  be  glad  to  have 
me  in  the  class.” 

“  I  think  a  man  as  forgiving  as  that 
ought  to  be  elected,”  said  Priscilla. 

“  You  certainly  have  more  courage  than 
I  gave  you  credit  for,”  said  Bonnie.  “  I 
never  could  have  gone  over  and  explained 
to  that  man  in  the  wide  world.” 

Patty  smiled  discreetly.  “When  you 
have  to  explain  to  a  woman,”  she  said  in 
the  tone  of  one  who  is  stating  a  natural 
law,  “it  is  better  to  write  a  note ;  but 
when  it  is  a  man,  always  explain  in 
person.” 


202 


XII 


The  Exigencies  of  Etiquette 


' 


< 


XII 


The  Exigencies  of  Etiquette 


F  I  had  been  the  one  to  invent 
etiquette,”  said  Patty,  “  I 
should  have  made  party  calls 
payable  one  year  after  date, 
and  then  should  have  allowed  three  days’ 
grace  at  the  end.” 

“  In  which  case,”  said  Priscilla,  “  I  sup¬ 
pose  you  would  get  out  of  calling  on  Mrs. 
Millard  altogether.” 

“Exactly,”  said  Patty. 

Mrs.  Millard  —  more  familiarly  referred 
to  as  Mrs.  Prexy  —  annually  invited  the 
seniors  to  dinner  in  parties  of  ten.  Patty, 
whose  turn  had  come  a  short  time  before, 
owing  to  an  untoward  misfortune,  had 
been  in  the  infirmary  at  the  time  ;  but, 
though  she  had  missed  the  fun,  she  now 
found  it  necessary  to  pay  the  call. 

205 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Of  course,”  she  resumed,  “  I  can  see 
why  you  should  be  expected  to  cal)  if  you 
attend  the  function  and  partake  of  the  food; 
but  what  I  cant  understand  is  why  a 
peaceable  citizen  who  desires  only  to  gang 
his  ain  gait  should,  upon  the  reception  of 
an  entirely  unsolicited  invitation,  suddenly 
find  it  incumbent  upon  him  to  put  on  his 
best  dress  and  his  best  hat  and  gloves 
in  order  to  call  upon  people  he  barely 
knows.” 

“Your  genders,”  said  Priscilla,  “are  a 
trifle  mixed.” 

“That,”  said  Patty,  “is  the  fault  of  the 
language.  The  logic,  I  think,  you  will 
find  correct.  You  can  see  what  would 
happen,”  she  pursued,  “  if  you  carry  it  out 
to  its  logical  conclusion.  Suppose,  for  in¬ 
stance,  that  every  woman  I  have  ever  met 
in  this  town  should  suddenly  take  it  into 
her  head  to  invite  me  to  a  dinner.  Here 
I  —  perfectly  unsuspicious  and  innocent 
of  any  evil,  because  of  a  purely  arbitrary 
law  which  I  did  not  help  to  make — would 
not  only  have  to  sit  down  and  write  a 

206 


The  Exigencies  of  Etiquette 

hundred  regrets,  but  would  have  to  pay  a 
hundred  calls  within  the  next  two  weeks. 
It  makes  me  shudder  to  think  of  it!  ” 

“  I  don't  believe  you  need  worry  about 
it,  Patty ;  of  course  we  know  you  're  pop¬ 
ular,  but  you  ’re  not  as  popular  as  that.” 

“  No,”  said  Patty ;  “  I  did  n't  mean  that 
I  thought  I  really  shoiild  get  that  many 
invitations.  It 's  only  that  one  is  open  to 
the  constant  danger.” 

During  the  progress  of  this  conversa¬ 
tion  Georgie  Merriles  had  been  lounging 
on  the  couch  by  the  window,  reading  the 
“  Merchant  of  Venice  ”  in  a  critically  un¬ 
impassioned  way  that  the  instructor  in 
Dramatic  Theory  could  not  have  praised 
too  much.  The  room  finally  having  be¬ 
come  too  dark  for  reading,  she  threw 
down  the  book  with  something  like  a 
yawn.  “  It  would  have  been  a  joke  on 
Portia,”  she  remarked,  “if  Bassanio  had 
chosen  the  wrong  casket”;  and  she  turned 
her  attention  to  the  campus  outside. 
Groups  of  girls  were  coming  along  the 
path  from  the  lake,  and  the  sound  of  their 

207 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

voices,  mingled  with  laughter  and  the 
jingling  of  skates,  floated  up  through  the 
gathering  dusk.  Across  the  stretches  of 
snow  and  bare  trees  lights  were  begin¬ 
ning  to  twinkle  in  the  other  dormitories, 
while  nearer  at  hand,  and  more  clearly 
visible,  rose  the  irregular  outline  of  the 
president’s  house. 

“  Patty,”  said  Georgie,  with  her  nose 
against  the  pane,  “  if  you  really  want  to 
get  that  call  out  of  the  way,  now ’s  your 
chance.  Mrs.  Millard  has  just  gone 
out.” 

Patty  dashed  into  her  bedroom  and  be¬ 
gan  jerking  out  bureau  drawers.  “  Pris¬ 
cilla,”  she  called  in  an  agonized  tone,  “do 
you  remember  where  I  keep  my  cards?” 

“  It  ’s  ten  minutes  of  six,  Patty ;  you 
can’t  go  now.” 

“Yes,  I  can.  It  does  n’t  matter  what 
time  it  is,  so  long  as  she ’s  out.  I  ’ll  go 
just  as  I  am.” 

“  Not  in  a  golf-cape  !  ” 

Patty  hesitated  an  instant.  “  Well,” 
she  admitted,  “  I  suppose  the  butler  might 

208 


The  Exigencies  of  Etiquette 

tell  her.  I  ’ll  put  on  a  hat” — this  with 
the  air  of  one  who  is  making  a  really  great 
concession.  Some  more  banging  of 
bureau  drawers,  and  she  appeared  in  a 
black  velvet  hat  trimmed  with  lace,  with 
the  brown  jacket  of  her  suit  over  her  red 
blouse,  and  a  blue  golf-skirt  and  very 
muddy  boots  showing  below. 

“  Patty,  you  ’re  a  disgrace  to  the 
room!”  cried  Priscilla.  “  Do  you  mean  to 
tell  me  that  you  are  going  to  Mrs.  Mil¬ 
lard’s  in  a  short  skirt  and  those  awful 
skating-shoes  ?  ” 

“  The  butler  won’t  look  at  my  feet ;  I ’m 
so  beautiful  above”;  and  Patty  banged  the 
door  behind  her. 

Georgie  and  Priscilla  flattened  them¬ 
selves  against  the  window  to  watch  the 
progress  of  the  call. 

“Look,”  gasped  Priscilla.  “There  ’s 
Mrs.  Millard  going  in  at  the  back  door.” 

“  And  there  ’s  Patty.  My,  but  she 
looks  funny  !  ” 

“  Call  her  back,”  cried  Priscilla,  wildly 
trying  to  open  the  window. 

209 


*4 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Let  her  alone,”  laughed  Georgie ;  “it 
will  be  such  fun  to  gloat  over  her.” 

The  window  came  up  with  a  jerk. 
“  Patty  !  Patty  !  ”  shrieked  Priscilla. 

Patty  turned  and  waved  her  hand  airily. 
“  Can’t  stop  now — will  be  back  in  a  mo¬ 
ment”;  and  she  sped  on  around  the  corner. 

The  two  stood  watching  the  house  for 
several  minutes,  vaguely  expecting  an  ex¬ 
plosion  of  some  sort  to  occur.  But  no¬ 
thing  happened.  Patty  was  swallowed  as 
if  by  the  grave,  and  the  house  gave  no 
sign.  They  accordingly  shrugged  their 
shoulders  and  dressed  for  dinner  with  the 
philosophy  which  a  life  fraught  with 
alarms  and  surprises  gives. 

Dinner  was  half  over,  and  the  table  had 
finished  discussing  Patty’s  demise,  when 
that  young  lady  trailed  placidly  in,  smiled 
on  the  expectant  faces,  and  inquired  what 
kind  of  soup  they  had  had. 

“  Bean  soup  ;  it  was  n’t  any  good,”  said 
Georgie,  impatiently.  “  What  happened  ? 
Did  you  have  a  nice  call  ?  ” 

“  No,  Maggie,  I  don’t  care  for  any  soup 


210 


The  Exigencies  of  Etiquette 

to-night.  Just  bring  me  some  steak, 
please.” 

“  Patty  !  ”  in  a  pleading  chorus,  “  what 
happened  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon,”  said  Patty, 
sweetly.  “Yes,  thank  you,  I  had  a  very 
pleasant  call.  May  I  trouble  you  for  the 
bread,  Lucille  ?  ” 

“  Patty,  I  think  you  ’re  obnoxious,”  said 
Georgie.  “  Tell  us  what  happened.” 

“  Well,”  began  Patty,  in  a  leisurely  man¬ 
ner,  “  I  said  to  the  butler,  ‘  Is  Mrs.  Mil¬ 
lard  in  ?  ’  and  he  said  to  me  (without  even 
a  smile),  ‘  I  am  not  sure,  miss ;  will  you 
please  step  into  the  drawing-room  and  I  ’ll 
see.’  I  was  going  to  tell  him  that  he 
needn’t  bother,  as  I  knew  she  was  out;  but 
I  thought  that  perhaps  it  would  look  a  lit¬ 
tle  better  if  I  waited  and  let  him  find  out 
for  himself.  So  I  walked  in  and  sat  down 
in  a  pink-and-white  embroidered  Louis- 
Quatorze  chair.  There  was  a  big  mirror 
in  front  of  me,  and  I  had  plenty  of  time  to 
study  the  effect,  which,  I  will  acknowledge, 
was  a  trifle  mixed.” 

“A  trifle,”  Georgie  assented. 


2 1 1 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“I  was  beginning,”  pursued  Patty,  “to 
feel  nervous  for  fear  some  of  the  family 
might  drop  in,  when  the  man  came  back 
and  said,  ‘  Mrs.  Millard  will  be  down  in  a 
minute.’ 

“  If  I  had  seen  you  at  that  moment, 
Georgie  Merriles,  there  would  have  been 
battle,  murder,  and  sudden  death.  My 
first  thought  was  of  flight ;  but  the  man 
was  guarding  the  door,  and  Mrs.  Prexy 
had  my  card.  While  I  was  frenziedly  try¬ 
ing  to  think  of  a  valid  excuse  for  my  cos¬ 
tume  the  lady  came  in,  and  I  rose  and 
greeted  her  graciously,  one  might  almost  say 
gushingly.  I  talked  very  fast  and  tried  to 
hypnotize  her,  so  that  she  would  keep  her 
eyes  on  my  face  ;  but  it  was  no  use :  I 
saw  them  traveling  downward,  and  pretty 
soon  I  knew  by  the  amused  expression 
that  they  had  arrived  at  my  shoes. 

“  Concealment  was  no  longer  possible,” 
pursued  Patty,  warming  to  her  subject. 
“  I  threw  myself  upon  her  mercy  and  con¬ 
fessed  the  whole  damning  truth.  What 
kind  of  ice-cream  is  that  ?  ”  she  demanded, 


2 1 2 


The  Exigencies  of  Etiquette 

leaning  forward  and  gazing  anxiously  after 
a  passing  maid.  “  Don  t  tell  me  they  ’re 
giving  us  raspberry  again  !  ” 

“  No  ;  it ’s  vanilla.  Go  on,  Patty.” 

“  Well,  where  was  I  ?  ” 

“  You ’d  just  told  her  the  truth.” 

“  Oh,  yes.  She  said  she  ’d  always 
wanted  to  meet  the  college  girls  infor¬ 
mally  and  know  them  just  as  they  are,  and 
she  was  very  glad  of  this  opportunity. 
And  there  I  sat,  looking  like  a  kaleido¬ 
scope  and  feeling  like  a  fool,  and  she  taking 
it  for  granted  that  I  was  being  perfectly 
natural.  Complimentary,  was  n’t  it  ?  At 
this  point  dinner  was  announced,  and  she 
invited  me  to  stay  —  quite  insisted,  in  fact, 
to  make  up,  she  said,  for  the  one  I  had 
missed  when  I  was  ill  in  the  infirmary.” 
Patty  looked  around  the  table  with  a 
reminiscent  smile. 

“  What  did  you  say  ?  Did  you  refuse  ?  ” 
asked  Lucille. 

“  No  ;  I  accepted,  and  am  over  there  at 
present,  eating  pate  de  foie  gras.” 

“  No,  really,  Patty  ;  what  did  you  say?” 

2I3 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Well,”  said  Patty,  “  I  told  her  that  this 
was  ice-cream  night  at  the  college,  and  that 
I  sort  of  hated  to  miss  it ;  but  that  to-mor¬ 
row  would  be  mutton  night,  which  I  did  n’t 
mind  missing  in  the  least ;  so  if  she  would 
just  as  leave  transfer  her  invitation,  I 
would  accept  for  to-morrow  with  pleasure.” 

“  Patty,”  exclaimed  Lucille,  in  a  horrified 
tone,  “  you  did  n’t  say  that !  ” 

“Just  a  little  local  color,  Lucille,” 
laughed  Priscilla. 

“  But,”  objected  Lucille,  “  we ’d  prom¬ 
ised  not  to  play  local  color  any  more.” 

“  Have  you  not  learned,”  said  Priscilla, 
“  that  Patty  can  no  more  live  without 
local  color  than  she  can  live  without  food  ? 
It ’s  ingrained  in  her  nature.” 

“  Never  mind,”  said  Patty,  good- 
naturedly  ;  “  you  may  not  believe  me  now, 
but  to-morrow  night,  when  I ’m  all  dressed 
up  in  beautiful  clothes,  swapping  stories 
with  Prexy  and  eating  lobster  salad,  while 
you  are  over  here  having  mutton,  then 
maybe  you  ’ll  be  sorry.” 


214 


XIII 


A  Crash  Without 


XIII 


A  Crash  Without 


LOVE  the  smell  of  powder,” 
said  Patty. 

“  Gunpowder  or  baking- 
powder  ?  ” 

As  Patty  at  the  moment  had  her  nose 
buried  in  a  box  of  face-powder  she  thought 
it  unnecessary  to  answer. 

“  It  brings  back  my  youth,”  she  pur¬ 
sued.  “  The  best  times  of  my  life  have 
been  mixed  up  with  powder  and  rouge — 
Washington’s  Birthday  nights,  and  min¬ 
strel  shows,  and  masquerades,  and  plays  at 
boarding-school,  and  even  Mother  Goose 
tableaux  when  I  was  a  — ” 

Patty’s  reminiscences  were  interrupted 
by  Georgie,  who  was  anxiously  pacing 
up  and  down  the  wings.  “  It  ’s  queer 
some  of  the  cast  don’t  come.  I  told  them 
to  be  here  early,  so  we  could  get  them 

2 1 7 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

all  made  up  and  not  have  a  rush  at  the 
end.” 

“  Oh,  there ’s  time  enough,”  said  Patty, 
comfortably.  “  It  is  n’t  seven  yet,  and  if 
they  ’re  going  to  dress  in  their  rooms  it 
won’t  take  any  time  over  here  just  to 
make  them  up  and  put  on  their  wigs. 
It ’s  a  comparatively  small  cast,  you  see. 
Now,  on  the  night  of  the  Trig,  ceremonies, 
when  we  had  to  make  up  three  whole  bal¬ 
lets  and  only  had  one  .box  of  make-up,  we 
were  rushed.  I  thought  I  ’d  never  live 
to  see  the  curtain  go  down.  Do  you  re¬ 
member  the  suit  of  chain-mail  we  made 
for  Bonnie  Connaught  out  of  wire  dish¬ 
cloths?  It  took  sixty-three,  and  the  ten- 
cent  store  was  terribly  dubious  about 
renting  them  to  us ;  and  then,  after  work¬ 
ing  every  spare  second  for  three  days 
over  the  thing,  we  found,  the  last  minute, 
that  we  had  n’t  left  a  big  enough  hole  for 
her  to  get  into,  and — ” 

“  Oh,  do  keep  still,  Patty,”  said  Geor- 
gie,  nervously  ;  “  I  can’t  remember  what 
I  have  to  do  when  you  talk  all  the  time.” 

218 


A  Crash  Without 


A  manager  on  the  eve  of  producing  a 
new  play,  with  his  reputation  at  stake, 
may  be  excused  for  being  a  trifle  irrita¬ 
ble.  Patty  merely  shrugged  her  shoul¬ 
ders  and  descended  through  the  stage- 
door  to  the  half-lighted  hall,  where  she 
found  Cathy  Fair  strolling  up  and  down 
the  center  aisle  in  an  apparently  aimless 
manner. 

“  Hello,  Cathy,”  said  Patty  ;  “  what  are 
you  doing  over  here  ?  ” 

“  I  ’m  head  usher,  and  I  wanted  to  see 
if  those  foolish  sophomores  had  mixed  up 
the  numbers  again.” 

“  It  strikes  me  they  ’re  a  trifle  close 
together,”  said  Patty,  sitting  down  and 
squeezing  in  her  knees. 

“  Yes,  I  know;  but  you  can’t  get  eight 
hundred  people  into  this  hall  any  other 
way.  When  we  once  get  them  packed 
they  ’ll  have  to  sit  still,  that ’s  all.  What 
are  you  doing  over  here  yourself?  ”  she 
continued.  “  I  did  n’t  know  you  were  on 
the  committee.  Or  are  you  just  helping 
Georgie  ?  ” 


219 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  I  ’m  in  the  cast,”  said  Patty. 

“  Oh,  are  you?  I  saw  the  program  to¬ 
day,  but  I  ’d  forgotten  it.  I  ’ve  often 
wondered  why  you  have  n’t  been  in  any  of 
the  class  plays.” 

“  Fortune  and  the  faculty  are  against 
it,”  sighed  Patty.  “  You  see,  they  did  n’t 
discover  my  histrionic  ability  before  exam¬ 
inations  freshman  year,  and  after  examina¬ 
tions,  when  I  was  asked  to  be  in  the  play, 
the  faculty  thought  I  could  spend  the  time 
to  better  advantage  studying  Greek.  At 
the  time  of  the  sophomore  play  I  was  on 
something  else  and  could  n’t  serve,  and 
this  year  I  had  just  been  deprived  of  my 
privileges  for  coming  back  late  after 
Christmas.” 

“  But  I  thought  you  said  you  were  in 
it?” 

“Oh,”  said  Patty,  “it  ’s  a  minor  part, 
and  my  name  does  n’t  appear.” 

“  What  sort  of  a  part  is  it  ?  ” 

“  I  ’m  a  crash.” 

“  A  crash  ?  ” 

“Yes,  ‘a  crash  without.’  Lord  Brom- 


220 


A  Crash  Without 


ley  says,  ‘  Cynthia,  I  will  brave  all  for 
your  sake.  I  will  follow  you  to  the  ends 
of  the  earth.’  At  this  point  a  crash  is 
heard  without.  I,”  said  Patty,  proudly, 
“  am  the  crash.  I  sit  behind  a  moonlit 
balcony  in  a  space  about  two  feet  square, 
and  drop  a  lamp-chimney  into  a  box.  It 
may  not  sound  like  a  very  important  part, 
but  it  is  the  pivot  upon  which  the  whole 
plot  turns.” 

“  I  hope  you  won’t  be  taken  with  stage- 
fright,”  laughed  Cathy. 

“  I  ’ll  try  not,”  said  Patty.  “  There 

comes  the  butler  and  Lord  Bromley  and 

Cynthia.  I  ’ve  got  to  go  and  make  them 
>> 

up. 

“  Why  are  you  making  people  up,  if  you 
are  not  on  the  committee  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  once,  during  a  period  of  mental 
weakness,  I  took  china-painting  lessons, 
and  I ’m  supposed  to  knowhow.  Good-by.” 

“  Good-by.  If  you  get  any  flowers 
I  ’ll  send  them  in  by  an  usher.” 

“  Do,”  said  Patty.  “  I  ’m  sure  to  get  a 
lot.” 


221 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Behind  the  scenes  all  was  joyful  confu¬ 
sion.  Georgie,  in  a  short  skirt,  with  her 
shirt-waist  sleeves  rolled  up  and  a  note¬ 
book  in  her  hand,  was  standing  in  the 
middle  of  the  stage  directing  the  scene- 
shifters  and  distracted  committee.  Patty, 
in  the  “  green-room/’  was  presiding  over 
the  cast,  with  a  hare’s  foot  in  one  hand 
and  the  other  daubed  with  red  and  blue 
grease-paints. 

“Oh,  Patty,” remonstrated  Cynthia,  with 
a  horrified  glance  in  the  mirror,  “  I  look 
more  like  a  soubrette  than  a  heroine.” 

“That ’s  the  way  you  ought  to  look,” 
returned  Patty.  “  Here,  hold  still  till  I 
put  another  dab  on  your  chin.” 

Cynthia  appealed  to  the  faithful  Lord 
Bromley,  who  was  sitting  in  the  back¬ 
ground,  politely  letting  the  ladies  go  first. 
“  Look,  Bonnie,  don’t  you  think  I  ’m  too 
red  ?  I  know  it  ’ll  all  come  off  when  you 
kiss  me.” 

“  If  it  comes  off  as  easily  as  that,  you  ’ll 
be  more  fortunate  than  most  of  the  people 
I  make  up  ”  ;  and  Patty  smiled  know- 


222 


A  Crash  Without 


ingly  a*  she  remembered  how  Priscilla 
had  sorted  half  the  night  on  the  occasion 
of  a  pr  vious  play,  and  then  had  appeared 
at  breakfast  the  next  morning  with  lower  * 
ing  e  ebrows  and  a  hectic  flush  on  each 
chee..  “You  must  remember  that  foot- 
ligh  s  take  a  lot  of  color,”  she  explained 
com -scendingly.  “You  ’d  look  ghastly 
if  I  et  you  go  the  way  you  wanted  to  at 
first  Next! 

“No,”  said  Patty,  as  the  butler  pre¬ 
sented  himself;  “you  don’t  come  till  the 
second  act.  I  ’ll  take  the  Irate  Parent 
first.”  The  Irate  Parent  was  dragged 
from  a  corner  where  he  had  been  anx¬ 
iously  mumbling  over  his  lines.  “  What ’s 
the  matter?”  asked  Patty,  as  she  began 
daubing  in  wrinkles  with  a  liberal  hand  ; 
“  are  you  afraid  ?  ” 

“N-no,”  said  the  Parent;  “I  ’m  not 
afraid,  only  I  ’m  afraid  that  I  will  be 
afraid.” 

“You ’d  just  better  change  your  mind, 
then,”  said  Patty,  sternly.  “We  are  n’t 
going  to  allow  any  stage-fright  to-night.” 

22  3 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Patty,  you  can  manage  Georgie  Mer- 
riles ;  make  her  let  me  go  on  without  any 
wig,”  cried  Cynthia,  returning  and  holding 
up  to  view  a  mass  of  yellow  curls  of  a 
shade  that  was  never  produced  in  the 
course  of  nature. 

Patty  looked  at  the  wig  critically.  “  It 

is,  perhaps,  a  trifle  golden  for  the  par'..” 

“  Golden  !  ”  said  Cynthia.  “  It ’s  posi¬ 
tively  orange .  Wait  till  you  see  how  it 
lights  up.  He  calls  me  his  dark-eyed 
beauty:  and  I  ’m  sure  no  one  with  cark 
eyes,  or  any  other  kind  of  eyes,  would  have 
hair  like  that.  My  own  looks  a  great  d 
better.” 

“Why  don’t  you  wear  your  own,  then  ? 
Wrinkle  up  your  forehead,  Parent,  and  1  ^t 
me  see  which  way  they  run.” 

“  Georgie  paid  two  dollars  for  renting 

it,  and  she  ’s  bound  to  get  the  money’s 
worth  of  wear  out  of  it,  even  if  she  makes 
me  look  like  a  fright  and  spoils  the  play.” 

“Nonsense,”  said  Patty,  pushing  away 
the  Parent  and  giving  her  undivided  atten¬ 
tion  to  the  question.  “Your  own  hair 

224 


A  Crash  Without 


does  look  better.  Just  mislay  the  wig 
and  keep  out  of  Georgie’s  way  till  the 
curtain  goes  up.  The  audience  are  begin¬ 
ning  to  come,”  she  announced  to  the  room 
in  general,  “  and  you  ’ve  got  to  keep  still 
back  there.  You  Ve  making  an  awful 
racket,  and  they  can  hear  you  all  over  the 
house.  Here,  what  are  you  making  such 
a  noise  for  ?  ”  she  demanded  of  Lord 
Bromley,  who  came  clumping  up  with 
footfalls  which  reverberated  through  the 
flies. 

“  I  can’t  help  it,”  he  said  crossly. 
“  Look  at  these  boots.  They  ’re  so  big 
that  I  can  step  out  of  them  without 
unlacing  them.” 

“  It ’s  not  my  fault.  I  have  n’t  anything 
to  do  with  the  costumes.” 

“  I  know  it ;  but  what  can  I  do  ?  ” 

“  Never  mind,”  said  Patty,  soothingly; 
“they  don’t  look  so  awfully  bad.  You  ’ll 
have  to  try  and  walk  without  raising  your 
feet.” 

She  went  out  on  the  stage,  where 
Georgie  was  giving  her  last  directions  to 

225 


15 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

the  scene-shifters.  “  The  minute  the  cur¬ 
tain  goes  down  on  the  first  act  change  this 
forest  to  the  drawing-room  scene,  and  don’t 
make  any  noise  hammering.  If  you  have 
to  hammer,  do  it  while  the  orchestra  ’s 
playing.  How  does  it  look  ?  ”  she  asked 
anxiously,  turning  to  Patty. 

“  Beautiful,”  said  Patty.  “  I  ’d  scarcely 
recognize  it.” 

The  “  forest  scene  ”  had  served  in  every 
outdoor  capacity  for  the  last  four  years, 
and  it  was  usually  hailed  with  a  groan  on 
the  part  of  the  audience. 

“  I  was  just  coming  in  to  see  if  the  cast 
were  ready,”  said  Georgie. 

“They  ’re  all  made  up,  and  are  sitting 
in  the  green-room  getting  stage-fright. 
What  shall  I  do  now  ?  ” 

“  Let  me  see,”  said  Georgie,  consulting 
her  book.  “  One  of  the  committee  is 
to  prompt,  one  is  to  stay  with  the  men 
and  see  that  they  manage  the  curtain  and 
the  lights  in  the  right  places,  one  is  to 
give  the  cues,  and  two  are  to  help  change 
costumes.  Cynthia  has  to  change  from  a 

226 


A  Crash  Without 


riding-habit  to  a  ball-gown  in  four  min¬ 
utes.  I  think  you  ’d  better  help  her, 
too.” 

“Anything  you  please,”  said  Patty, 
obligingly.  “  I  ’ll  stand  on  a  stool  with 
the  ball-gown  in  the  air  ready  to  drop  it 
over  her  head  the  moment  she  appears, 
like  a  harness  on  a  fire-horse.  Is  every¬ 
thing  out  here  done  ?  What  time  is  it  ?  ” 

“Yes;  everything  ’s  done,  and  it  ’s 
five  minutes  of  eight.  We  can  begin  as 
soon  as  the  audience  is  ready.” 

They  peered  through  the  folds  of  the 
heavy  velvet  curtain  at  the  sea  of  faces  in 
front.  Eight  hundred  girls  in  light  even- 
ing-gowns  were  talking  and  laughing  and 
singing.  Snatches  of  song  would  start  up 
in  one  corner  and  sweep  gaily  over  the 
house,  and  sometimes  two  would  meet  and 
clash  in  the  center,  to  the  horror  of  those 
who  preferred  harmony  to  volume. 

“  Here  come  the  old  girls  !  ”  said  Patty, 
as  a  procession  of  some  fifty  filed  into  re¬ 
served  seats  near  the  front.  “There  are 
loads  of  last  year’s  class  back.  What  are 

227 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

the  juniors  doing  ?  Look  ;  I  believe  they 
are  going  to  serenade  them.” 

The  juniors  rose  in  a  body,  and,  turning 
to  their  departed  sister  class,  sang  a  song 
notable  for  its  sentiment  rather  than  its 
meter. 

“  I  do  hope  it  will  be  a  success,”  sighed 
Georgie.  “If  it  does  n’t  come  up  to  last 
years  senior  play  I  shall  die.” 

“  Oh,  it  will,”  said  Patty,  reassuringly. 
“  Anything  would  be  better  than  that.” 

“  Now  the  glee  club  ’s  going  to  sing 
two  songs,”  said  Georgie.  “Thank 
heaven,  they  ’re  new !  ”  she  added  fer¬ 
vently.  “And  the  orchestra  plays  an 
overture,  and  then  the  curtain  goes  up. 
Run  and  tell  them  to  come  out  here,  ready 
for  the  first  act.” 

Lord  Bromley  was  standing  in  the 
wings  disgustedly  viewing  the  banquet- 
table.  “  See  here,  Patty,”  he  called  as 
she  hurried  past.  “  Look  at  this  stuff 
Georgie  Merriles  has  palmed  off  on  us  for 
wine.  You  can’t  expect  me  to  drink  any 
such  dope  as  that” 


228 


A  Crash  Without 


Patty  paused  for  an  instant.  “  What ’s 
the  matter  with  it  ?  ”  she  inquired,  pouring 
out  some  in  a  glass  and  holding  it  up  to 
the  light. 

“Matter?  It  ’s  made  of  currant  jelly 
and  water,  with  cold  tea  mixed  in.” 

“  I  made  it  myself,”  said  Patty,  with 
some  dignity.  “  It  s  a  beautiful  color.” 

“  But  I  have  to  drain  my  glass  at  a 
draught,”  expostulated  the  outraged  lord. 

“  I  ’m  sure  there  ’s  nothing  in  currant 
jelly  or  tea  to  hurt  you.  You  can  be 
thankful  it  is  n’t  poisonous.”  And  Patty 
hurried  on. 

The  glee  club  sang  the  two  new  songs, 
punctuated  with  the  appreciative  applause 
of  a  long-suffering  audience,  and  the 
orchestra  commenced  the  overture. 

“  Everybody  clear  the  stage,”  said 
Georgie,  in  a  low  tone,  “  and  you  keep 
your  eyes  on  the  book,”  she  added  sternly 
to  the  prompter ;  “  you  lost  your  place 
twice  at  the  dress  rehearsal.” 

The  overture  died  down  ;  a  bell  tinkled, 
and  the  curtain  parted  in  the  middle,  dis- 

229 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

covering  Cynthia  sitting  on  a  garden-seat 
in  the  castle  park  (originally  the  Forest  of 
Arden). 

As  the  curtain  fell  at  the  end  of  the  act, 
and  the  applause  gave  way  to  an  excited 
buzz  in  the  audience,  Patty  hugged 
Georgie  gleefully.  “  It  ’s  fifty  times  bet¬ 
ter  than  last  year  !  ” 

“  Heaven  send  Theo  Granby  is  out 
there !  ”  piously  ejaculated  Georgie. 
(Theo  Granby  had  been  the  chairman  of 
last  year’s  senior  play.) 

The  curtain  had  risen  on  the  fourth  act, 
and  Patty  squeezed  herself  into  the  some¬ 
what  close  quarters  behind  the  balcony. 
There  was  fortunately  —  or  rather  unfor¬ 
tunately  —  a  window  in  the  rear  of  the 
building  at  this  point,  and  Patty  opened 
it  and  perched  herself  at  one  end  of  the 
sill,  with  the  lamp-chimney  ready  for  use 
at  the  other  end.  The  crash  was  not  due 
for  some  time,  and  Patty,  having  lately 
elected  astronomy,  whiled  away  the  inter¬ 
val  by  examining  the  stars. 

230 


A  Crash  Without 


On  the  stage  matters  were  approaching 
a  climax.  Lord  Bromley  was  making  an 
excellent  lover,  as  was  proved  by  the  fact 
that  the  audience  was  taking  him  seri¬ 
ously  instead  of  laughing  through  the 
love  scenes  as  usual. 

“Cynthia,”  he  implored,  “say  that  you 
will  be  mine,  and  I  will  brave  all  for  your 
sake.  I  will  follow  you  to  the  ends  of  the 
earth.”  He  gazed  tenderly  into  her  eyes, 
and  waited  for  the  crash.  A  silence  as  of 
the  tomb  prevailed,  and  he  continued  to 
gaze  tenderly,  while  a  grin  rapidly  spread 
over  the  audience. 

“  Hang  Patty!  ”  he  murmured  savagely. 
“  Might  have  known  she ’d  do  something 
like  this. —  What  was  that?  Did  you 
hear  a  noise  ?  ”  he  asked  aloud. 

“No,”  said  Cynthia,  truthfully;  “I  did 
not  hear  anything.” 

“  Pretend  you  did,”  he  whispered,  and 
they  continued  to  improvise.  After  some 
five  minutes  of  hopeless  floundering,  the 
prompter  got  them  back  on  the  track 
again,  and  the  act  proceeded,  with  the 

231 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

audience  happily  unaware  that  anything 
was  missing. 

Ten  minutes  later  Lord  Bromley  was 
declaiming :  “  Cynthia,  let  us  flee  this 

place.  Its  dark  rooms  haunt  me;  its 
silence  oppresses  me  —  ”  And  the  crash 
came. 

For  the  first  moment  the  audience  was 
too  startled  to  notice  that  the  actors  were 
also  taken  by  surprise.  Then  Lord  Brom¬ 
ley,  who  was  getting  used  to  emergencies, 
pulled  himself  together  and  ejaculated, 
“  Hark  !  What  was  that  sound  ?  ” 

“  I  think  it  was  a  crash,”  said  Cynthia. 

He  grasped  her  hand  and  ran  back 
toward  the  balcony.  “  Give  us  our  lines,” 
he  said  to  the  prompter,  as  he  went  past. 

The  prompter  had  dropped  the  book, 
and  could  n’t  find  the  place. 

“Make  them  up,”  came  in  a  piercing 
whisper  from  behind  the  balcony. 

A  silence  ensued  while  the  two  dashed 
back  and  forth,  looking  excitedly  up  and 
down  the  stage.  Then  the  despairing 
Lord  Bromley  stretched  out  his  arms  in  a 

232 


A  Crash  Without 


gesture  of  supplication.  “  Cynthia,”  he 
burst  out  in  tones  of  realistic  longing,  “  I 
cannot  bear  this  horrible  suspense.  Let 
us  flee.”  And  they  fled,  fully  three  pages 
too  early,  forgetting  to  leave  the  letter 
which  should  have  apprised  the  Irate 
Parent  of  the  circumstance. 

Georgie  was  tramping  up  and  down  the 
wings,  wringing  her  hands  and  lamenting 
the  day  that  ever  Patty  had  been  born. 

“  Hurry  up  that  Parent  before  they 
stop  clapping,”  said  Lord  Bromley,  “and 
they  ’ll  never  know  the  difference.” 

The  poor  old  man,  with  his  wig  over 
one  ear,  was  unceremoniously  hustled  on 
to  the  stage,  where  he  raved  up  and  down 
and  swore  never  to  forgive  his  ungrateful 
daughter  in  so  realistic  a  manner  that  the 
audience  forgot  to  wonder  how  he  found 
it  out.  In  due  time  the  runaways  returned 
from  the  notary’s,  overcame  the  old  man’s 
harshness,  received  the  parental  blessing, 
and  the  curtain  fell  on  a  scene  of  domestic 
felicity  that  delighted  the  freshmen  in  the 
gallery. 


233 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Patty  crawled  out  from  under  the  bal¬ 
cony  and  fell  on  her  knees  at  Georgie’s 
feet. 

Lord  Bromley  raised  her  up.  “  Never 
mind,  Patty.  The  audience  does  n’t  know 
the  difference ;  and,  anyway,  it  was  all  for 
the  best.  My  mustache  would  n’t  have 
stayed  on  more  than  two  minutes  longer.” 

They  could  hear  some  one  shouting  in 
the  front,  “What  ’s  the  matter  with 
Georgie  Merriles  ?  ”  and  a  hundred  voices 
replied,  “  She ’s  all  right !  ” 

“Who ’s  all  right?” 

“  G-e-o-r-g-i-e  M-e-r-r-i-l-e-s.” 

“What ’s  the  matter  with  the  cast?  ” 

“  They  ’re  all  right !  ” 

The  stage-door  burst  open  and  a  crowd 
of  congratulatory  friends  burst  in  and 
gathered  around  the  disheveled  actors  and 
committee.  “  It  ’s  the  best  senior  play 
since  we  ’ve  been  in  college.”  “The 
freshmen  are  simply  crazy  over  it.”  “Lord 
Bromley,  your  room  will  be  full  of  flowers 
for  a  month.”  “  Patty,”  called  the  head 
usher,  over  the  heads  of  the  others,  “let 


234 


A  Crash  Without 


me  congratulate  you.  I  was  in  the  very 
back  of  the  room,  and  never  heard  a  thing 
but  your  crash.  It  sounded  fine!" 

“Patty,”  demanded  Georgie,  “what  in 
the  world  were  you  doing  ?  ” 

“  I  was  counting  the  stars,”  said  the  con¬ 
trite  Patty,  “  and  then  I  remembered  too 
late,  and  I  turned  around  suddenly,  and  it 
fell  off.  I  am  terribly  sorry.” 

“Never  mind,”  laughed  Georgie  ;  “since 
it  turned  out  well,  I  ’ll  forgive  you.  All 
the  cast  and  committee,”  she  said,  raising 
her  voice,  “  come  up  to  my  room  for  food. 
I ’m  sorry  I  can’t  invite  you  all,”  she  added 
to  the  girls  crowded  in  the  doorway,  “  but 
I  live  in  a  single.” 


235 


XIV 

The  Mystery  of  the 
Shadowed  Sophomore 


XIV 


The  Mystery  of  the 
Shadowed  Sophomore 

H,  I  say,  Bonnie  —  Bonnie 
Connaught  !  Priscilla !  Wait 
a  minute/’  called  a  girl  from 

across  the  links,  as  the  two 
ing  homeward  one  afternoon, 

dragging  their  caddie-bags  behind  them. 
They  turned  and  waited  while  Bonnie’s 
sophomore  cousin,  Mildred  Connaught, 
dashed  up.  She  grasped  them  excitedly, 
and  at  the  same  time  glanced  over  her 
shoulder  with  the  air  of  a  criminal  who  is 
being  tracked. 

“  I  want  to  tell  you  something,”  she 
panted.  “  Come  in  here  where  no  one 
will  see  us  ”  ;  and  she  dived  into  a  clump  of 
pine-trees  growing  by  the  path. 

Priscilla  and  Bonnie  followed  more  lei- 


239 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

surely,  and  dropped  down  on  the  soft  nee¬ 
dles  with  an  air  of  amused  tolerance. 

“Well,  Mildred,  what  ’s  the  matter?” 
Bonnie  inquired  mildly. 

The  sophomore  lowered  her  voice  to  an 
impressive  whisper,  although  there  was 
not  a  person  within  a  hundred  yards.  “I 
am  bei ng  followed,”  she  said  solemnly. 

“  Followed  !  ”  exclaimed  Bonnie,  in 
amazement.  “  Are  you  crazy,  child  ? 
You  act  like  a  boy  who  ’s  been  reading 
dime  novels.” 

“Listen,  girls.  You  must  n’t  tell  a 
soul,  because  it ’s  a  great  secret,  We  ’re 
going  to  plant  the  class  tree  to-night,  and 
I  am  chairman  of  the  ceremonies.  Every¬ 
thing  is  ready  —  the  costumes  are  finished 
and  the  plans  all  arranged  so  that  the 
class  can  get  out  to  the  place  without 
being  seen.  The  freshmen  have  n’t  a  sus¬ 
picion  that  it ’s  going  to  be  to-night.  But 
they  have  found  out  that  I  ’m  chairman  of 
the  committee,  and,  if  you  please,” — Mil¬ 
dred’s  eyes  grew  wide  with  excitement, — 
“  they  ’ve  been  tracking  me  for  a  week. 

240 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 

They  have  relays  of  girls  appointed  to 
watch  me,  and  I  can’t  stir  without  a  fresh¬ 
man  tagging  along  behind.  When  I  went 
down  to  order  the  ice-cream,  there  was 
one  right  at  my  elbow,  and  I  had  to  pre¬ 
tend  that  I  ’d  come  for  soda-water.  I 
have  simply  had  to  let  the  rest  of  the 
committee  do  all  of  the  work,  because  I 
was  so  afraid  the  freshmen  would  find  out 
the  time.  It  was  funny  at  first,  but  I  am 
getting  nervous.  It  ’s  horrible  to  think 
that  you  ’re  being  watched  all  the  time. 
I  feel  as  if  I  ’d  committed  a  murder,  and 
keep  looking  over  my  shoulder  like  —  like 
Macbeth.” 

“  It ’s awful”  Bonnie  shuddered.  “  I ’m 
thrilled  to  the  bone  to  think  of  the  peril  a 
member  of  my  family  is  braving  for  the 
sake  of  her  class.” 

“You  need  n’t  laugh,”  said  Mildred. 
“  It ’s  a  serious  matter.  If  those  fresh¬ 
men  come  to  our  tree  ceremonies,  we  ’ll 
never  hear  the  last  of  it.  But  they  are  not 
going  to  come,”  she  added  with  a  mean¬ 
ing  smile.  “  They  have  another  engage- 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

ment.  We  chose  to-night  because  there ’s 
a  lecture  before  the  Archaeological  Society 
by  some  alumna  person  who  s  been  dig¬ 
ging  up  remains  in  Rome.  The  freshmen 
have  been  told  to  go  and  hear  her  on  ac¬ 
count  of  their  Latin.  Imagine  their  feel¬ 
ings  when  they  are  cooped  up  in  the 
auditorium,  trying  to  look  intelligent  about 
the  Roman  Forum,  and  listening  to  our 
yells  outside  !  ” 

Priscilla  and  Bonnie  smiled  apprecia¬ 
tively.  It  was  not  so  long,  after  all,  since 
they  themselves  were  sophomores,  and 
they  recalled  their  own  tree  ceremonies, 
when  the  freshmen  had  not  been  cooped  up. 

“  But  the  trouble  is,”  pursued  Mildred, 
“  that  it  ’s  more  important  for  me  to  get 
there  than  a!ny  one  else,  because  I  have 
to  dig  the  hole, —  Peters  is  really  going 
to  dig  it,  you  know ;  I  just  take  out  the 
first  shovelful, —  but  I  can’t  get  there  on 
account  of  that  beastly  scout.  As  soon  as 
she  saw  me  acting  suspicious,  she  ’d  run 
and  warn  the  class.” 


242 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 

“I  see,”  said  Bonnie;  “but  what  have 
Priscilla  and  I  to  do  with  it  ?  ” 

“Well,”  said  Mildred,  tentatively, 
“you  ’re  both  pretty  big,  you  know,  and 
you  ’re  our  sister  class,  and  you  ought  to 
help  us.” 

“Certainly,”  acquiesced  Bonnie ;  “but 
in  just  what  way  ?  ” 

“  Well,  my  idea  was  this.  If  you  would 
just  stroll  down  by  the  lake  after  chapel, 
and  loiter  sort  of  inconspicuously  among 
the  trees,  you  know,  I  would  come  that 
way  a  little  later,  and  then,  when  the  de¬ 
tective  person  came  along  after  me,  you 
could  just  nab  her  and — ” 

“Chuck  her  in  the  lake?”  asked 
Bonnie. 

“  No,  of  course  not.  Don’t  use  any 
force.  Just  politely  detain  her  till  you 
hear  us  yelling  —  take  her  for  a  walk. 
She ’d  feel  honored.” 

Bonnie  laughed.  The  program  struck 
her  as  entertaining.  “  I  don’t  see  any¬ 
thing  very  immoral  in  delaying  a  freshman 

243 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

who  is  going  where  she  has  no  business 
to  go.  What  do  you  say,  Pris  ?  ” 

“  It ’s  not  exactly  a  Sunday-school  ex¬ 
cursion,”  acknowledged  Priscilla,  “but  I 
don’t  see  why  it  is  n’t  as  legitimate  for  us 
to  play  detective  as  for  them.” 

“  By  all  means,”  said  Bonnie.  “  Behold 
Sherlock  Holmes  and  his  friend  Dr.  Wat¬ 
son  about  to  solve  the  Mystery  of  the 
Shadowed  Sophomore.” 

“You ’ve  saved  my  life,”  said  Mildred, 
feelingly.  “  Don’t  forget.  Right  after 
chapel,  by  the  lake.”  She  peered  warily 
out  through  the  branches.  “I  ’ve  got  to 
get  the  keys  to  the  gymnasium,  so  the  re¬ 
freshments  can  be  put  in  during  chapel. 
Do  you  see  anybody  lurking  about  ?  I 
guess  I  can  get  off  without  being  seen. 
Good-by  ” ;  and  she  sped  away  like  a 
hunted  animal. 

Bonnie  looked  after  her  and  laughed. 
“‘Youth  is  a  great  time,  but  somewhat 
fussy,’”  she  quoted;  and  the  two  took 
their  homeward  way. 

They  found  Patty,  who  was  experienc- 

244 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 


ing  a  periodical  fit  of  studying,  immersed 
in  dictionaries  and  grammars.  It  was 
under  protest  that  she  allowed  herself  to 
be  interrupted  long  enough  to  hear  the 
story  of  their  proposed  adventure. 

“  You  babies  !  ”  she  exclaimed.  “  Have 
n’t  you  grown  up  yet?  Don’t  you  think 
it  ’s  a  little  undignified  for  seniors  —  one 
might  almost  say  alumnae  —  to  be  kidnap¬ 
ping  freshmen  ?  ” 

“  We  ’re  not  kidnapping  freshmen,” 
Bonnie  remonstrated;  “we  ’re  teaching 
them  manners.  It ’s  my  duty  to  protect 
my  little  cousin.” 

“You  can  come  with  us  and  help 
detect,”  said  Priscilla,  generously. 

“Thank  you,”  said  Patty,  loftily.  “I 
have  n’t  time  to  play  with  you  children. 
Cathy  Fair  and  I  are  going  to  do  Old 
English  to-night.” 

That  evening,  as  Patty,  keyed  to  the 
point  of  grappling  with  and  throwing  whole 
pages  of  ‘  ‘  Beowulf,  ”  stood  outside  the  chapel 
door  waiting  for  Cathy  to  appear,  the  pro¬ 
fessor  of  Latin  came  out  with  a  stranger. 

245 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Oh,  Miss  Wyatt !  ”  she  exclaimed  in  a 
relieved  tone,  pouncing  upon  Patty.  “  I 
wish  to  present  you  to  Miss  Henderson, 
one  of  our  alumnae  who  is  to  lecture  to¬ 
night  before  the  Archaeological  Society. 
She  has  not  been  back  for  several  years, 
and  wishes  to  see  the  new  buildings. 
Have  you  time  to  show  her  around  the 
campus  a  little  before  the  lecture  begins  ?  ” 

Patty  bowed  and  murmured  that  she 
would  be  most  happy,  and  cast  an  ago¬ 
nized  glance  back  at  Cathy  as  she  led  the 
lecturer  off.  As  they  strolled  about, 
Patty  poured  out  all  the  statistics  she 
knew  about  the  various  buildings,  and 
Miss  Henderson  received  them  with  ex¬ 
clamations  of  delighted  surprise.  She 
was  rather  young  and  gushing  for  aPh.D. 
and  an  archaeologist,  Patty  decided,  and 
she  wondered  desperately  how  she  could 
dispose  of  her  and  get  back  to  “  Beowulf’’ 
and  Cathy. 

They  rounded  the  top  of  a  little  hill, 
and  Miss  Henderson  exclaimed  delight- 

246 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 

edly,  “There  is  the  lake,  just  as  it  used  to 
be!” 

Patty  stifled  a  desire  to  remark  that 
lakes  had  a  habit  of  staying  where  they 
used  to  be,  and  asked  politely  if  Miss  Hen¬ 
derson  would  like  to  take  a  row. 

Miss  Henderson  thought  that  it  would 
be  pleasant ;  but  she  had  forgotten  her 
watch,  and  was"  afraid  there  would  not  be 
time. 

Patty  glanced  about  vaguely  for  some 
further  object  of  interest,  and  spied  Mil¬ 
dred  Connaught  sauntering  toward  the 
lake.  She  had  forgotten  all  about  the 
Sherlock  Holmes  adventure,  and  she  sud¬ 
denly  had  an  inspiration.  Be  it  said  to 
her  credit  that  she  hesitated  a  moment; 
but  the  lecturer’s  next  remark  led  to  her 
own  undoing.  She  was  murmuring  some¬ 
thing  about  feeling  like  a  stranger,  and 
wishing  that  she  might  know  the  students 
informally  and  see  a  little  of  the  real 
college  life. 

“It  would  be  a  pity  not  to  gratify  her 

247 


•  When  Patty  Went  to  College 

when  I  can  do  it  so  easily,”  Patty  told  her¬ 
self;  and  she  added  out  loud,  “  I  am  sure 
we  have  time  for  a  little  row,  Miss  Hen¬ 
derson.  You  walk  on,  and  I  will  run 
back  and  get  my  watch  ;  it  won’t  take  a 
minute.” 

“  I  would  n’t  have  you  do  that ;  it  is 
too  much  trouble,”  remonstrated  Miss 
Henderson. 

“  It ’s  no  trouble  whatever,”  Patty  pro¬ 
tested  kindly.  “  I  can  take  a  cross  cut, 
and  meet  you  at  the  little  summer-house 
where  the  boats  are  moored.  It ’s  straight 
down  this  path;  you  can’t  miss  it.  Just 
follow  that  girl  over  there”;  and  she  darted 
away. 

The  lecturer  gazed  dubiously  after  her 
a  moment,  and  then  started  on  after  the 
girl,  who  cast  a  look  over  her  shoulder  and 
quickened  her  pace.  It  was  growing 
quite  dusky  under  the  trees,  and  the  lec¬ 
turer  hurried  on,  trying  to  keep  the  girl  in 
sight ;  but  she  unexpectedly  turned  a  cor¬ 
ner  and  disappeared,  and  at  the  same 
moment  two  strange  girls  suddenly 

248 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 


dropped  into  the  path,  apparently  from 
the  tree-tops. 

“  Good  evening,”  they  said  pleas¬ 
antly.  “  Are  you  taking  a  walk  ?  ” 

The  lecturer  started  back  with  an  ex¬ 
clamation  of  surprise ;  but  as  soon  as  she 
could  regain  her  composure,  she  replied 
politely  that  she  was  strolling  about  and 
looking  at  the  campus. 

“  Perhaps  you  would  like  to  stroll  with 
us  ?  ”  they  inquired. 

“  Thank  you,  you  are  very  kind ;  but  I 
have  an  engagement  to  row  with  one  of 
the  students.” 

Priscilla  and  Bonnie  exchanged  de¬ 
lighted  glances.  They  had  evidently 
caught  a  resourceful  young  person. 

“  Oh,  no  ;  it ’s  too  late  for  a  row.  You 
might  get  malaria,”  Priscilla  remonstrated. 
“  Come  and  sit  on  the  fence  with  us 
and  admire  the  stars ;  it  ’s  a  lovely 
night.” 

The  lecturer  cast  an  alarmed  glance 
toward  the  fence,  which  appeared  to  have 
an  unusually  narrow  top  rail.  “You  are 

249 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

very  kind,”  she  stammered,  “but  I  really 
can’t  stop.  The  girl  will  be  waiting  ” 

“  Who  is  the  girl  ?  ”  they  inquired. 

“  I  don’t  know  that  I  remember  her 
name.” 

“Mildred  Connaught?”  Bonnie  sug¬ 
gested. 

“No;  I  don’t  think  that  is  it,  but  I 
really  can’t  say.  I  have  only  just  met  her.” 

Miss  Henderson  was  growing  more  and 
more  puzzled.  In  her  day  the  students 
had  not  been  in  the  habit  of  way-laying 
strangers  with  invitations  to  go  walking 
and  sit  on  fences. 

“Ah,  do  stay  with  us,”  Bonnie  begged, 
laying  a  hand  on  her  arm.  x‘We  ’re 
lonely  and  want  some  one  to  talk  to  — 
we  ’ll  tell  you  a  secret  if  you  do.” 

“  I  am  sorry,”  Miss  Henderson  mur¬ 
mured  confusedly,  “but — ” 

“We  ’ll  tell  you  the  secret  anyway,” 
said  Bonnie,  generously,  “and  I  ’m  sure 
you  ’ll  be  interested.  The  sophomores 
are  going  to  have  their  tree  ceremonies 
to-night !  ” 


250 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 


“And  you  know,”  Priscilla  broke  in, 
“  that  the  freshmen  really  ought  to  attend 
them  too  —  it  does  n’t  matter  if  they 
are  n’t  invited.  But  where  do  you  sup¬ 
pose  the  freshmen  are  to-night  ?  They  ’re 
attending  a  foolish  little  lecture  on  the 
Roman  Forum.” 

“  And  though  we  don’t  wish  to  seem 
insistent,”  Bonnie  added,  “we  should 
really  like  to  have  your  company  until  the 
lecture  is  over.” 

“Until  the  lecture  is  over!  But  I  am 
the  lecturer,”  gasped  Miss  Henderson. 

Bonnie  grinned  delightedly.  “  I  am 
happy  to  meet  you,”  she  said,  with  a  bow. 
“  And  perhaps  you  do  not  recognize  us. 
I  am  Mr.  Sherlock  Holmes,  and  this  is 
my  friend  Dr.  Watson.” 

Dr.  Watson  bowed,  and  remarked  that 
it  was  an  unexpected  pleasure.  He  had 
often  heard  of  the  famous  lecturer,  but 
had  never  hoped  to  meet  her. 

Miss  Henderson,  who  was  not  very  con¬ 
versant  with  recent  literature,  looked  more 
dazed  than  ever.  It  flashed  across  her 


251 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

mind  that  there  was  an  insane  asylum  in 
the  neighborhood,  and  the  thought  was 
not  reassuring. 

“  We  ’ll  not  handcuff  you,”  said  Bonnie, 
magnanimously,  “  if  you  ’ll  come  with  us 
quietly.” 

The  lecturer,  in  spite  of  fervid  protesta¬ 
tions  that  she  was  a  lecturer,  presently 
found  herself  sitting  on  the  fence,  with  a 
girl  on  either  side  grasping  an  elbow.  A 
light  was  beginning  to  break  upon  her, 
together  with  a  poignant  realization  of  the 
fact  that  she  was  seeing  more  of  the  real 
college  life  than  she  cared  for. 

“  What  time  is  it  ?  ”  she  asked  anxiously. 

“Ten  minutes  past  eight  by  my  watch, 
but  I  think  it ’s  a  little  slow,”  said  Bonnie. 

“  I  am  afraid  you  ’re  going  to  be  late 
for  your  lecture,”  said  Priscilla.  “  It 
seems  a  pity  to  waste  it.  Suppose  you 
tell  it  to  us  instead.” 

“  Yes,  do,”  urged  Bonnie.  “  I  just  dote 
on  the  Roman  Forum.” 

The  lecturer  preserved  a  dignified 
silence,  which  was  broken  only  by  the 
croaking  of  the  frogs  and  the  occasional 

252 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 


remarks  of  the  two  detectives.  She  had 
relinquished  all  hope  of  ever  seeing  the 
Archaeological  Society,  and  had  philo¬ 
sophically  resigned  herself  to  the  pros¬ 
pect  of  sitting  on  the  fence  all  night, 
when  suddenly  there  burst  out  from  across 
the  campus  a  song  of  victory,  mingled 
with  cheers  and  inarticulate  yells. 

At  the  first  sound,  Bonnie  and  Priscilla 
tumbled  down  from  the  fence,  bringing  the 
lecturer  with  them,  and,  each  grasping  her 
by  a  hand,  they  started  to  run.  “  Come 
on  and  see  the  fun,”  they  laughed. 
“You  ’re  perfectly  welcome;  it  ’s  no 
secret  any  more.”  And,  in  spite  of  breath¬ 
less  protestations  that  she  much  preferred 
to  walk,  Miss  Henderson  found  herself 
dashing  across  the  campus  in  the  direction 
of  the  sounds. 

Heads  suddenly  appeared  in  the  dor¬ 
mitory  windows,  doors  banged,  and  girls 
came  running  from  every  quarter  with 
excited  exclamations  :  “  The  sophomores 

are  having  their  tree  ceremonies !  ” 
“  Where  are  the  freshmen  ?  ”  “  Why 

did  n’t  they  get  there  ?  ” 

253 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

A  crowd  quickly  gathered  in  the  shadow 
of  the  trees  and  watched  the  scene  with 
laughing  interest.  A  wide  circle  of  col¬ 
ored  lanterns  swayed  in  the  breeze,  and, 
within,  a  line  of  white-robed  figures  wound 
and  unwound  about  a  tiny  tree  to  the 
music  of  a  solemn  chant. 

“  Is  n’t  it  pretty  ?  Are  n’t  you  glad  we 
brought  you  ?  ”  Bonnie  demanded  as  they 
pushed  through  the  crowd. 

The  lecturer  did  not  answer,  for  she 
caught  sight  of  the  Latin  professor  hurry¬ 
ing  toward  them. 

“  Miss  Henderson  !  I  was  afraid  you 
were  lost.  It  is  nearly  half-past  eight. 
The  audience  has  been  waiting,  and  we 
have  been  filling  in  the  time  with  re¬ 
ports.” 

_  4 

For  a  moment  the  lecturer  was  silent, 
being  occupied  with  an  amused  scrutiny 
of  the  faces  of  her  captors ;  and  then  she 
rose  to  the  occasion  like  a  lady  and  a 
scholar,  and  delivered  a  masterly  apology, 
with  never  a  reference  to  her  sojourn  on 
the  fence. 


254 


The  Shadowed  Sophomore 


Bennie  and  Priscilla  stared  at  each  other 
without  a  word,  and  as  Miss  Henderson 
was  1 M  away  to  the  remnants  of  her  audi¬ 
ence  .^atty  suddenly  appeared. 

“  Good  evening-,  Mr.  Sherlock  Holmes 
and  Dr.  Watson.  Did  you  solve  your 
mystery  ?  ”  she  asked  sweetly. 

Priscilla  turned  her  to  the  light  and 
scrutinized  her  face. 

Patty  smiled  back  with  wide-open,  inno¬ 
cent  eyes. 

Priscilla  knew  the  expression,  and  she 
shook  her.  “You  little  wretch!”  she 
exclaimed. 

Patty  squirmed  out  from  under  her 
grasp.  “If  you  remember,”  she  mur¬ 
mured,  “  I  once  said  that  the  Lick  Obser¬ 
vatory  was  in  Dublin,  Ireland.  It  was  a 
very  funny  mistake,  of  course,  but  I  know 
of  others  that  are  funnier.” 

“  What  do  you  mean  ?  ”  Bonnie  de¬ 
manded. 

“  I  mean,”  said  Patty,  “that  I  wish  you 
never  to  mention  the  Lick  Observatory 
again.” 


255 


XV 

Patty  and  the  Bishop 


17 


XV 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 


HE  dressing-bell  rang  for  Sun¬ 
day  morning  service,  and  Patty 
laid  down  her  book  with  a  sigh 
and  went  and  stood  by  the  open 
window.  The  outside  world  was  a  shim¬ 
mering  green  and  yellow,  the  trees  showed 
a  feathery  fringe  against  the  sky,  and  the 
breeze  was  redolent  of  violets  and  fresh 
earth. 

“  Patty,”  called  Priscilla,  from  her  bed¬ 
room,  “  you  ’ll  have  to  hurry  if  you  want 
me  to  fasten  your  dress.  I  have  to  go  to 
choir  rehearsal.” 

Patty  turned  back  with  another  sigh, 
and  began  slowly  unhooking  her  collar. 
Then  she  sat  down  on  the  edge  of  the 
couch  and  stared  absently  out  of  the 
window. 

A  vigorous  banging  of  bureau  drawers 

259 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

in  Priscilla’s  room  was  presently  followed 
by  Priscilla  herself  in  the  doorway.  She 
surveyed  her  room-mate  suspiciously. 
“Why  are  n’t  you  dressing?”  she  de¬ 
manded. 

“  I  ’ll  fasten  my  own  dress  ;  you  need  n’t 
wait,”  said  Patty,  without  removing  her 
eyes  from  the  window. 

“  Bishop  Copeley  ’s  going  to  preach 
to-day,  and  he  ’s  such  an  old  dear;  you 
must  n’t  be  late.” 

Patty  elevated  her  chin  a  trifle  and 
shrugged  her  shoulders. 

“  Are  n’t  you  going  to  chapel  ?  ” 

Patty  brought  her  gaze  back  from  the 
window  and  looked  up  at  Priscilla  be¬ 
seechingly.  “  It  ’s  such  a  lovely  day,” 
she  pleaded,  “  and  I  ’d  so  much  rather 
spend  the  time  out  of  doors ;  I  ’m  sure  it 
would  be  a  lot  better  for  my  spiritual 
welfare:” 

“  It ’s  not  a  question  of  spiritual  wel¬ 
fare ;  it  ’s  a  question  of  cuts.  You  ’ve 
already  over-cut  twice.  What  excuse  do 
you  intend  to  give  when  the  SelPGov- 

260 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

ernment  Committee  asks  for  an  explana¬ 
tion  ?  ” 

“‘Sufficient  unto  the  day,’”  laughed 
Patty.  “  When  the  time  comes  I  ’ll  think 
of  a  beautiful  new  excuse  that  will  charm 
the  committee.” 

“You  ought  to  be  ashamed  to  evade 
the  rules  the  way  you  do.” 

“  Where  is  the  fun  of  living  if  you  are 
going  to  make  yourself  a  slave  to  all  sorts 
of  petty  rules  ?  ”  asked  Patty,  wearily. 

“  I  don’t  know  why  you  have  a  right  to 
live  outside  of  rules  any  more  than  the 
rest  of  us.” 

Patty  shrugged.  “  I  take  the  right,  and 
every  one  else  can  do  the  same.” 

“  Every  one  else  can’t,”  returned  Pris¬ 
cilla,  hotly,  “  for  there  would  n’t  be  any 
law  left  in  college  if  they  did.  I  should  a 
good  deal  rather  play  out  of  doors  myself 
than  go  to  chapel,  but  I  ’ve  used  up  all 
my  cuts  and  I  can’t.  You  could  n’t  either 
if  you  had  a  shred  of  proper  feeling  left. 
The  only  way  you  can  get  out  of  it  is  by 
lying.” 


26l 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  Priscilla  dear,”  Patty  murmured,  “peo¬ 
ple  in  polite  society  don’t  put  things  quite 
so  baldly.  If  you  would  be  respected  in 
the  best  circles,  you  must  practise  the  art 
of  equivocation.” 

Priscilla  frowned  impatiently.  “  Are 
you  coming,  or  are  you  not  ?  ”  she  de¬ 
manded. 

“  I  am  not.” 

Priscilla  closed  the  door  —  not  quite  as 
softly  as  a  door  should  be  closed — and 
Patty  was  left  alone.  She  sat  thinking  a 
few  minutes  with  slightly  flushed  cheeks, 
and  then  as  the  chapel  bell  rang  she  shook 
herself  and  laughed.  Even  had  she  wished 
to  go  it  was  too  late  now,  and  all  feeling 
of  responsibility  vanished.  As  soon  as 
the  decorous  swish  of  Sunday  silks  had 
ceased  in  the  corridor  outside,  she  caught 
up  a  book  and  a  cushion,  and,  creeping 
down  by  the  side  stairs,  set  gaily  out 
across  the  sunlit  lawn,  with  the  deliciously 
guilty  thrill  of  a  truant  little  boy  who  has 
run  away  from  school. 

From  the  open  windows  of  the  chapel 

262 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

she  could  hear  the  college  chanting : 
“  Lord,  have  mercy  upon  us,  and  incline 
our  hearts  to  keep  this  law.”  She  laughed 
happily  to  herself;  she  was  not  keeping 
laws  to-day.  They  might  stay  in  there 
in  the  gloom,  if  they  wanted  to,  with  their 
commandments  and  their  litanies.  She 
was  worshiping  under  the  blue  sky,  to  the 
jubilant  chanting  of  the  birds. 

She  was  the  only  person  alive  and  out 
that  morning,  and  the  spring  was  in  her 
blood,  and  she  felt  as  though  she  owned 
the  world.  The  campus  had  never  seemed 
so  radiant.  She  paused  on  the  little  rustic 
bridge  to  watch  the  excited  swirling  of  the 
brook,  and  she  nearly  lost  her  balance 
while  trying  to  launch  a  tiny  boat  made  of 
a  piece  of  bark.  She  dropped  pebbles  into 
the  pool  in  order  to  watch  the  startled 
frogs  splash  back  into  the  water,  and  she 
threwher  cushion  at  a  squirrel,  and  laughed 
aloud  at  its  angry  chattering.  She  raced 
up  the  side  of  Pine  Bluff,  and  dropped  down 
panting  on  the  fragrant  needles  in  the 
shadow  of  a  tall  pine. 

263 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Below  her  the  ivy-covered  buildings  of 
the  college  lay  clustered  among  the  trees ; 
and  in  the  Sunday  quiet,  with  the  sunlight 
shining  on  the  towers,  it  looked  like  some 
medieval  village  sleeping  in  the  valley. 
Patty  gazed  down  dreamily  with  half-shut 
eyes,  and  imagined  that  presently  a  band 
of  troubadours  and  ladies  would  come 
riding  out  on  milk-white  mules.  But  the 
sight  of  Peters,  strolling  to  the  gateway  in 
his  Sunday  clothes,  spoiled  the  illusion,  and 
she  turned  to  her  book  with  a  smile. 
Presently  she  closed  it,  however.  This  was 
not  the  time  for  reading.  One  could  read 
in  winter  and  when  it  rained,  and  even  in 
the  college  library  with  every  one  else 
turning  pages ;  but  out  here  in  the  open, 
with  the  real  things  of  life  happening  all 
about,  it  was  a  waste  of  opportunity. 

Her  eyes  wandered  back  to  the  campus 
again,  and  she  suddenly  grew  sober  as  the 
thought  swept  over  her  that  in  a  few  weeks 
more  it  would  be  hers  no  longer.  This 
happy,  irresponsible  community  life,  which 
had  come  to  be  the  only  natural  way  of 

264 


I  have  just  run  away  from  you,  Bishop  Copeley 


3HV 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

living,  was  suddenly  at  an  end.  She  re¬ 
membered  the  first  day  of  being  a  freshman, 
when  everything  but  herself  had  looked 
so  big,  and  she  had  thought  desperately, 
“  Four  years  of  this  !  ”  It  had  seemed 
like  an  eternity ;  and  now  that  it  was  over 
it  seemed  like  a  minute.  She  wanted  to 
clutch  the  present  and  hold  it  fast.  It  was 
a  terrible  thing  —  this  growing  old. 

And  there  were  the  girls.  She  would 
have  to  say  good-by,  with  no  opening  day 
in  the  fall  —  and  Priscilla  lived  in  Cali¬ 
fornia  and  Georgie  in  South  Dakota  and 
Bonnie  in  Kentucky  and  she  in  New  Eng¬ 
land,  and  they  were  the  only  people  in  the 
world  she  particularly  cared  to  talk  to. 
She  would  have  to  get  acquainted  with 
her  mother’s  friends  —  with  chronically 
grown-up  people,  who  talked  about  hus¬ 
bands  and  children  and  servants.  And 
there  would  be  men.  She  had  never  had 
time  to  know  many  men  ;  but  some  day 
she  would  probably  be  marrying  one  of 
them,  and  then  all  would  be  over ;  and  be¬ 
fore  she  had  time  to  think,  she  would 

265 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

be  an  old  lady,  telling  her  grandchildren 
stories  about  when  she  was  a  girl. 

Patty  gazed  mournfully  down  on  the 
campus,  almost  on  the  verge  of  tears  over 
her  lost  youth,  when  a  step  suddenly 
sounded  on  the  gravel  path,  and  she 
looked  up  with  a  startled  glance  to  see  a 
churchly  figure  rounding  the  hill.  Invol¬ 
untarily  she  prepared  for  flight ;  but  the 
bishop  had  spied  her,  together  with  a  little 
rustic  seat  under  a  tree,  and  he  smiled  upon 
the  one  and  dropped  down  upon  the  other 
with  a  sigh  of  content. 

“A  beautiful  view,”  he  gasped  ;  “but  a 
very  steep  hill.” 

“  It  is  steep,”  Patty  agreed  politely;  and 
as  there  seemed  to  be  no  chance  of  escape, 
she  resumed  her  seat  and  added,  with  a 
laugh :  “  I  have  just  run  away  from  you, 
Bishop  Copeley,  and  here  you  come  fol¬ 
lowing  along  behind  like  an  accusing 
conscience.” 

The  bishop  chuckled.  “  I ’ve  run  away 
myself,”  he  returned;  “I  knew  I  should 
have  to  be  introduced  to  a  hundred  or  so 


266 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

of  you  after  service,  so  I  just  slipped  out 
the  back  way  for  a  quiet  stroll.” 

Patty  eyed  him  appreciatively,  with  a 
new  sense  of  fellow-feeling. 

“  I  should  like  to  have  run  away  from 
church  as  well,”  he  confessed,  with  a 
twinkle  in  his  eye.  “  Out  of  doors  is  the 
best  church  on  a  day  like  this.” 

“That  ’s  what  I  think,”  said  Patty,  cor¬ 
dially;  “but  I  had  no  idea  that  bishops 
were  so  sensible.” 

They  chatted  along  in  a  friendly  man¬ 
ner  on  various  subjects,  and  exchanged 
lay  opinions  on  the  college  and  the  clergy. 

“It  ’s  a  funny  thing  about  this  place,” 
said  Patty,  ruminatingly,  “  that,  though  we 
have  a  different  preacher  every  Sunday, 
we  always  have  the  same  sermon.” 

“The  same  sermon?”  inquired  the 
bishop,  somewhat  aghast. 

“  Practically  the  same,”  said  Patty. 
“  I  Ve  heard  it  for  four  years,  and  I  think 
I  could  almost  preach  it  myself.  They  all 
seem  to  think,  you  know,  that  because 
we  come  to  college  we  must  be  monsters 

267 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

of  reason,  and  they  urge  us  to  remember 
that  reason  and  science  are  not  the  only 
things  that  count  in  the  world — that  feel¬ 
ing  is,  after  all,  the  main  factor ;  and  they 
quote  a  little  poem  about  the  flower  being 
beautiful,  I  know  not  why.  That  was  n’t 
what  yours  was  about  ?  ”  she  asked 
anxiously. 

“Not  this  time,”  said  the  bishop;  “I 
preached  an  old  one.” 

“  It  ’s  the  best  way,”  said  Patty. 
“We  ’re  human  beings,  if  we  do  come  to 
college.  I  remember  once  we  had  a  man 
from  Yale  or  Harvard  or  some  such  place, 
and  he  preached  an  old  sermon :  he 
urged  us  to  become  more  manly.  It  was 
very  refreshing.” 

The  bishop  smiled.  “  Do  you  run 
away  from  church  very  often  ?  ”  he  in¬ 
quired  mildly. 

“  No ;  I  don’t  have  a  chance  when  I 
room  with  Priscilla.  But  obligatory 
chapel  makes  you  want  to  run  away,”  she 
added.  “It ’s  not  the  chapel  I  object  to; 
it ’s  the  obligatoriness.” 

268 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

“  But  you  have  a  system  of — er — cuts,” 
he  suggested. 

“Three  a  month,”  said  Patty,  sadly. 
“  Evening  chapel  counts  as  one,  but  Sun¬ 
day  morning  church  as  two.” 

“  So  you  expended  two  cuts  to  escape 
me  ?  ”  he  asked  with  a  smile. 

“  Oh,  it  was  n’t  you,”  Patty  remon¬ 
strated  hastily.  “  It  was  just  —  the  obli¬ 
gatoriness.  And  besides,”  she  added 
frankly,  “  my  legitimate  cuts  were  used  up 
days  ago,  and  when  I  once  begin  over¬ 
cutting,  I  am  reckless.” 

“  And  may  I  ask  what  happens  when 
you  over-cut  ?  ”  the  bishop  inquired. 

“  Well,”  said  Patty,  “  there  are  proctors, 
you  know,  that  mark  you  when  you  are 
absent;  and  then,  if  they  find  that  you  Ve 
over-cut,  the  Self-Government  Committee 
calls  you  up  and  asks  the  reason.  If  you 
can’t  produce  a  good  excuse  you  are 
deprived  of  your  privileges  for  a  month, 
and  you  can’t  be  on  committees  or  in 
plays  or  get  leave  of  absence  to  go  out 
of  town.” 


269 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  I  see,”  said  the  bishop  ;  “  and  will  you 
have  to  suffer  all  of  those  penalties  ?  ” 

“Oh,  no,”  said  Patty,  comfortably;  “I 
shall  produce  a  good  excuse.” 

“What  will  you  say?”  he  inquired. 

“  I  don’t  know,  exactly ;  I  shall  have  to 
depend  on  the  inspiration  of  the  moment.” 

The  bishop  regarded  her  quizzically. 
“Do  you  mean,”  he  asked,  “that,  having 
broken  the  rule,  you  intend  to  evade  the 
penalty  by  —  to  put  it  flatly  —  a  false¬ 
hood  ?  ” 

“  Oh,  no,  bishop,”  said  Patty,  in  a 
shocked  tone.  “  Of  course  I  shall  tell  the 
truth,  only”  —  she  looked  up  in  the 
bishop’s  face  with  an  irresistible  smile  — 
“the  committee  probably  won’t  under¬ 
stand  it.” 

For  an  instant  the  bishop’s  face  relaxed, 
and  then  he  grew  grave  again.  “  By  a 
subterfuge  ?  ”  he  asked. 

“Y-yes,”  acknowledged  Patty;  “I  sup¬ 
pose  you  might  call  it  a'subterfuge.  I  dare 
say  I  am  pretty  bad,”  she  added,  “but  you 
have  to  have  a  reputation  for  something 

270 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

in  a  place  like  this  or  you  get  overlooked. 
I  can’t  compete  in  goodness  or  in  athletics 
or  in  anything  like  that,  so  there ’s  nothing 
left  for  me  but  to  surpass  in  badness  —  I 
have  quite  a  gift  for  it.” 

The  corners  of  the  bishop’s  mouth 
twitched.  “  You  don’t  look  like  one  with 
a  criminal  record.” 

“  I  ’m  young  yet,”  said  Patty.  “  It  has 
n’t  commenced  to  show.” 

“  My  dear  little  girl,”  said  the  bishop, 
“  I  have  already  preached  one  sermon  to¬ 
day,  which  you  did  n’t  come  to  hear,  and 
I  can’t  undertake  to  preach  another  for 
your  benefit,” —  Patty  looked  relieved, — - 
“but  there  is  one  question  I  should  like 
to  ask  you.  In  after  years,  when  you  are 
through  college  and  the  question  is  asked 
of  some  of  your  class-mates,  ‘  Did  you 
know — ’  You  have  not  told  me  your 
name.” 

“  Patty  Wyatt.” 

“  ‘  Did  you  know  Patty  Wyatt,  and  what 
sort  of  a  girl  was  she  ?  ’  will  the  answer 
be  what  you  would  wish  ?  ” 

271 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

Patty  considered.  “Ye-yes;  I  think, 
on  the  whole,  they ’d  stand  by  me.” 

“This  morning, ”  the  bishop  continued 
placidly,  “  I  asked  a  professor  in  an  en¬ 
tirely  casual  way  about  a  young  woman  — 
a  class-mate  of  your  own  —  who  is  the 
daughter  of  an  old  friend  of  mine. 
The  answer  was  immediate  and  unhesi¬ 
tating,  and  you  can  imagine  how  much  it 
gratified  me.  ‘  There  is  not  a  finer  girl 
in  college,’  he  replied.  ‘She  is  honest 
in  work  and  honest  in  play,  and  thor¬ 
oughly  conscientious  in  everything  she 
does.’  ” 

“  Um-m,”  said  Patty  ;  “  that  must  have 
been  Priscilla.” 

“No,”  smiled  the  bishop,  “it  was  not 
Priscilla.  The  young  woman  of  whom  I 
am  speaking  is  the  president  of  your  Stu¬ 
dent  Association,  Catherine  Fair.” 

“  Yes,  it ’s  true,”  said  Patty,  critically. 
“  Cathy  Fair  hits  straight  from  the  shoul¬ 
der.” 

“  And  would  n’t  you  like  to  go  out 
with  that  reputation?” 

272 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

“I  'm  really  not  very  bad,”  pleaded 
Patty,  “that  is,  as  badness  goes.  But  I 
could  n't  be  as  good  as  Cathy ;  it  would 
be  going  against  nature.” 

“I  am  afraid,”  suggested  the  bishop, 
“that  you  do  not  try  very  hard.  You 
may  not  think  that  it  matters  what  people 
think  now  that  you  are  young,  but  how 
will  it  be  when  you  grow  older  ?  And  it  will 
not  be  long,”  he  added.  “  Age  slips  upon 
you  before  you  realize  it.” 

Patty  looked  sober. 

“  You  will  soon  be  thirty,  and  then  forty, 
and  then  fifty.” 

Patty  sighed. 

“  And  do  you  think  that  a  woman  of 
that  age  is  attractive  if  she  deals  in  sub¬ 
terfuges  and  evasions  ?  ” 

Patty  squirmed  a  trifle,  and  dug  a  little 
hole  in  the  pine-needles  with  her  toe. 

“  You  must  remember  that  you  cannot 
form  your  character  in  a  moment,  my 
dear.  Character  is  a  plant  of  slow  growth, 
and  the  seeds  must  be  planted  early.” 

The  bishop  rose,  and  Patty  scrambled  to 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

her  feet  with  a  look  of  relief.  He  took 
the  pillow  and  the  book  under  his  arm, 
and  they  started  down  the  hill.  “  I  have 
preached  you  a  sermon,  after  all,”  he  said 
apologetically ;  “  but  preaching  is  my 

trade,  and  you  must  forgive  an  old  man 
for  being  prosy.” 

Patty  held  out  her  hand  with  a.  smile 
as  they  stopped  before  the  door  of  Phil¬ 
lips  Hall.  “  Good-by,  bishop,”  she  said, 
“  and  thank  you  for  the  sermon  ;  I  guess 
I  needed  it  —  I  am  getting  old.” 

She  climbed  the  stairs  slowly,  and,  hesi¬ 
tating  a  moment  outside  her  own  room, 
where  the  sound  of  laughing  voices 
through  the  transom  betokened  that  the 
clan  was  gathered,  she  kept  on  to  the  door 
of  a  single  at  the  end  of  the  corridor. 

“  Come  in,”  a  voice  called  in  response 
to  her  knock. 

Patty  turned  the  knob  and  stuck  her 
head  in.  “  Hello,  Cathy !  Are  you 
busy  ?  ” 

“  Of  course  not.  Come  in  and  talk  to 
me.” 

274 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

Patty  shut  the  door  and  leaned  with  her 
back  against  it.  “This  is  n’t  a  social 
call,”  she  announced  impressively.  “I  Ve 
come  to  see  you  officially.” 

“Officially?” 

“  You  ’re  president  of  students,  I 
believe  ?  ” 

“  I  believe  I  am,”  sighed  Cathy;  “and 
if  the  President  of  the  United  States  has 
half  as  much  trouble  with  his  subjects  as 
I  have  with  mine,  he  has  my  sincerest 
sympathy.” 

“  I  suppose  we  are  a  great  deal  of 
trouble,”  said  Patty,  contritely. 

“Trouble!  My  dear,”  said  Cathy,  sol¬ 
emnly.  “  I  ’ve  spent  the  entire  week 
running  around  to  the  different  cottages 
making  speeches  to  those  blessed  fresh¬ 
men.  They  wont  hand  in  chapel  excuses, 
and  they  will  run  off  with  library  books, 
and,  altogether,  they  ’re  an  immoral  lot.” 

“  They  can  afford  to  be ;  they  ’re 
young,”  sighed  Patty,  enviously.  “  But 
I,”  she  added,  “  am  getting  old,  and  it ’s 
time  I  was  getting  good.  I  ’ve  called  to 

275 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

tell  you  that  I  ’ve  over-cut  four  times,  and 
I  have  n’t  any  excuse.” 

“What  are  you  talking  about?”  asked 
Cathy,  in  amazement. 

“  Chapel  excuses.  I  ’ve  over-cut  four 
times, —  I  think  it  ’s  four,  though  I  ’ve 
rather  lost  count, —  and  I  have  n’t  any 
excuse.” 

“  But,  Patty,  don’t  tell  me  that.  You 
must  have  some  excuse,  some  reason 
for  — ” 

“Not  the  shadow  of  one.  Just  stayed 
away  because  I  did  n’t  feel  like  going.” 

“  But  you  must  give  me  some  reason,” 
remonstrated  Cathy,  in  distress,  “or  I  ’ll 
have  to  report  it  to  the  committee  and  you  ’ll 
be  deprived  of  your  privileges.  You  can’t 
afford  that,  you  know,  for  you  ’re  chairman 
of  the  Senior  Prom.” 

“  But  I  did  n’t  have  any  excuse,  and  I 
can’t  make  one  up,”  said  Patty.  “  I  will 
soon  be  thirty,  and  then  forty,  and  then 
fifty.  Do  you  think  a  woman  of  that  age 
is  attractive  if  she  deals  in  subterfuges  and 
evasions?  Character,”  she  added  sol- 

276 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

emnly,  “  is  a  plant  of  slow  growth,  and  the 
seeds  must  be  planted  early.” 

Cathy  looked  puzzled.  “  I  don’t  know 
what  you  ’re  talking  about,”  she  said, 
“but  I  suppose  you  do.  Anyway,”  she 
added,  “  I  ’m  sorry  about  the  chairman¬ 
ship  ;  but  I  ’m  —  well,  I  ’m  sort  of  glad, 
too.”  She  laid  a  hand  on  Patty’s  shoul¬ 
der.  “  Of  course  I ’ve  always  liked  you, 
Patty, —  everybody  does, —  but  I  don’t 
believe  I  ’ve  ever  appreciated  you,  and 
I ’m  glad  to  find  it  out  before  we  leave 
college.” 

Patty’s  face  flushed  a  trifle  and  she 
drew  away  half  sheepishly.  “  You ’d  best 
postpone  your  felicitations  until  to-mor¬ 
row,”  she  laughed,  “for  I  may  think  of 
some  good  excuse  in  the  night.  Good- 

by‘” 

She  was  greeted  in  the  study  with  a  cry 
of  welcome. 

“Well,  Patty,”  said  Priscilla,  “I  hear 
you  ’ve  been  taking  a  walk  with  the 
bishop.  Did  you  tell  him  you  ’d  cut 
chapel  ?  ” 


2  77 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

“  I  did  ;  and  he  said  he  wished  he  might 
have  cut,  too.” 

“She  ’s  incorrigible,”  sighed  Georgie ; 
“she ’s  even  been  corrupting  the  bishop.” 

“  You ’d  better  be  careful,  Patty  Wyatt,” 
warned  Bonnie  Connaught.  “Self-Gov¬ 
ernment  will  get  you  if  you  don’t  watch 
out,  and  then  you  ’ll  be  sorry  when  they 
take  you  off  the  Senior  Prom.” 

Patty  sobered  for  a  moment,  but  she 
hastily  assumed  a  nonchalant  air.  “  They 
have  got  me,”  she  laughed,  “and  I  ’m 
already  off — or,  at  least,  I  shall  be  as  soon 
as  they  have  a  meeting.” 

“  Patty  !  ”  cried  the  room,  in  a  horrified 
chorus.  “  What  do  you  mean  ?  ” 

Patty  shrugged.  “Just  what  I  say: 
deprived  of  my  privileges  for  cutting 
chapel.” 

“It’s  a  shame  !”  said  Georgie,  indig¬ 
nantly.  “That  Self-Government  Com¬ 
mittee  is  going  a  little  too  far  when  it 
takes  a  senior’s  privileges  away  without 
even  hearing  her  case.”  She  grasped 
Patty  by  the  arm  and  started  toward  the 

278 


Patty  and  the  Bishop 

door.  “  Come  on  and  tell  Cathy  Fair 
about  it.  She  will  fix  it  all  right.” 

Patty  hung  back  and  disengaged  her 
wrist  from  Georgie’s  grasp.  “  Let  me 
alone,”  she  said  sulkily.  “There  ’s  no¬ 
thing  to  be  done.  I  told  her  myself  I 
had  n’t  any  excuse.” 

“  You  told  her  ?  ”  Georgie  stared  her  in¬ 
credulity,  and  Bonnie  Connaught  laughed. 

“  Patty  reminds  me  of  the  burglar  who 
crawled  out  the  back  window  with  the 
silver,  and  then  rang  the  front  door-bell 
and  handed  it  back.” 

“What’s  the  matter,  Patty?”  Priscilla 
asked  solicitously.  “  Don’t  you  feel  well?  ” 

Patty  sighed.  “  I ’m  getting  old,”  she 
said. 

“You  ’re  getting  what?  ” 

“  Old.  Soon  I  ’ll  be  thirty,  and  then 
forty,  and  then  fifty ;  and  do  you  think 
any  one  will  love  me  then  if  I  deal  in 
subterfuges  and  evasions  ?  Character, 
my  dear  girls,  is  a  plant  of  slow  growth, 
and  the  seeds  must  be  planted  early.” 

“  You  went  and  told  the  committee  vol- 


When  Patty  Went  to  College 

untarily, —  of  your  own  accord, —  without 
even  waiting  to  be  called  up  ?  ”  Georgie 
persisted,  determined  to  get  at  the  facts 
of  the  case. 

“  I  'm  getting  old,”  repeated  Patty. 
“  It  ’s  time  I  was  getting  good.  As  I 
said  before,  character  is  a  plant — ” 

Georgie  looked  at  the  others  and  shook 
her  head  in  bewilderment,  and  Bonnie 
Connaught  laughed  and  murmured  to 
the  room  in  general  :  “  When  Patty  gets 
to  heaven  I  ’m  afraid  the  Recording  Angel 
will  have  some  trouble  in  balancing  his 
books.” 


280 


